White boy afraid of the mirror
White boy hates history class
White boy wears hood up, always
White boy afraid to go outside
White boy is all apologies
White boy prays for baltimore
White boy doesn't talk much
White boy thinks he has no right
White boy ashamed of who he is
White boy sorry for his skin
White boy can't explain what he is feeling
White boy can't sleep no more

Doubt is the most poisonous of all seeds
It has the power to destroy everything you have ever known
And I am in the midst of it

God, please help me
Lead me to the doors of your salvation--
Up the steps of your mercy,
Into the Abode of your love,
That I might abide there within it

Call me by the name of your Child
and let that title never be revoked
Never again
If it ever was, or ever has been

Let me live securely in you forever
All the days of my life
Forever, then forever more

Wrapped by your presence,
Held by your grace,
And standing on the truth of your Word,
The Lamb,
Jesus, and in his Name Alone,
Yours, God,
I pray Amen, Amen, and Amen

All power, and glory,
and honor, and praise,
Forever and ever,
Then forever more
To my Savior, my King, and my God

Stop before crossing the street,
look both ways for landmines,
my father on the battlefield
where this killing is justified,
from resident streets in ferguson
to gaza strip homicides,
My palms clasped tight in prayer,
from humanity's suicide

Our love was poetic, the type that you find writers writing about in their journals. Trying to find ways to compare the burning sensation our hearts feel when our bodies touch.
Does it look similar to the way a star dies- colours imploding and spraying a pitch black emptiness with a spectrum of colours so surreal it seems as if the universe took acid.

Would they start to write about how it’s so destructive that it reminds them of the California wildfires that engulf acres in minutes.

Our love, it reminded them of the way the ocean felt- vast and mysterious. They wrote about the way the moon would pull against the ocean and the way the ocean pushed back, telling the world about how I would hold you close against my body and you would push away, our bodies like the waves.

We were beautiful.

Stars melted at the sight of our kisses, creating supernovas that would make the unknown elements that sit at the bottom of our bellies like undiscovered essentials that make us whole.
Broken pieces that came together better than puzzle pieces.
Our love was endless.

So why did you go?

I was going to write a poem about you, telling you how much I miss you. How one day you’ll realize I was everything you needed, as a friend. I was going to state how amazing the memories we’ve made were. But I’m done writing about you. About us.

We could have been beautiful.