Do you ever wonder
Sitting in the lonely nights
Does your heart ponder
The outcome had we not surrendered to the fight?

To think we set two sails
Reaching out to a common destiny
No wonder we did fail
The thread interwining our lives was faulty

Our love wasn't strong enough
To brave the turbulent seas
It should have been tough
But withered away as the autumn leaves

And then we reached the parting place
Where the currents directed us in different ways
As much as we tried to hold on
Atlast we just drifted away

She read my journal
My internal thoughts spewed out of her mouth like *****.
Anger. Regret.

I saw him as a book then
And he was easily read
Flipping through his memories, I found tainted history
Tears

Oh, woe is me
this girl, she knows everything.
My incestuous mind
unkind and dark
genuinely written without hesitation

Yet here I stand
Confused, taken aback
Stricken with...
...curiosity, perhaps
Sadness and unknowing
And his eyes apologize while his frown regrets

Perhaps she now feels closer.
There's nothing to hide inside
A relief.
I am disgusted by your actions.

I wonder if he still loves me
He won't take the words back
Ink never erases, and scars remain
And so does my heart
Rooted to my sleeve yet chained to his palm

"I'm sorry", I forget to say
Words so typical end up filling the room
breaking all glass
You made me like this
my words are a byproduct of your insanity
You're sad.
Yes, sad. We are all sad.
You are not entitled to read such things
wretch

I peered into your soul today
Something twisted and half alive
Fault?
A face, my face to place blame
I'll never walk away
Without another war wound
But I'll bleed you dry
Should I question morality? Am I human?
What happened to us?

You seek knowledge, yet cower in its presence
" all loving" I mock the idea
for you despise my words.
My work.
What are they, but a part of me?
Your voice is timid
Your despair, unsettling..
speak

Silence is all I want to hear anymore...

I recognized you  the other day
and now, secondary kisses are the reason that I'm missin you

Bring it all  back
take a step back to day one
back to the days  you'd smile back when I'd say hello
back to the day I didn't feel so lame

Back, way before the weakness
faking my interests to impress you
I knew it was dumb

few things came up in my brain when I'd see you
Man, I'd  be writing things down the night before
few things come up when I’m with you
Man, do I get so dull when I’m feeling nervous

Hypocrisy
I can see  you can be kind of mean
I reek like your attitude
but I think a sweet night is a night  spent with you
and I'd do anything you'd be willing to

maybe I could have everything
maybe we could walk  together
maybe I could hold your hand
maybe I should try

I can tell that
you can tell I've been confused
And I can tell
me tripping up doesn't make you amused

I can do it real cool like you wanna do it
cool hair, an outfit, a tattoo, plus whatever..
and I imagine real soon you'd get used to me

sour taste in my mouth
I'm in temporary isolation
dude, I've been having dreams all about you

fairy tale place
saving up grace  for you now
wow, I can be content living, head in the clouds

but, do I dare say
"we should hangout
yeah, we should do fun things
we could do ANYTHING WE WANT!"
......
"Just kidding girl
I know you're busy girl
don't need to say it girl
actually, I'm busy too."


who am I to say you'd be happy,
and who are you to say that you wouldn't be,

and who are we to say anything about
anything when
we don't know a thing about
anything at all?

did you misunderstand me? I said I'm in love
I can misunderstand things, now and again
Then again, I'm sorry for saying that

I don't even like you.

sorry for saying that too

Fall
color
fresh air
breathe in
chapped lips
chilling Fall air
leaves falling cold
reds and yellows fall
fresh air from the window
a chapped kiss as hands grip
hands grip hips as chapped lips kiss
naked hips kiss as clothes slip to the floor
bodies hard against the wall next to the door
tripping, over clothes on the floor, and out the door
laughing  gripping hands, dancing down the hall naked
bare feet on a hardwood floor, chilled naked skin, Fall air
long hair and pale skin, running naked to the shower, laughing
a bathroom door, old and wooden, opened with cold hands
cold hands turn a shower on and wait for warm water
hands wait and press hard against neck and breast
chapped lips bitten by teeth as hands grab hips
warm tongues, warm cold necks with spit
goose bumps spread, cold on legs
tiptoed hot water, laughter
wet feet, wet butts, hot
screaming from heat
laughing screams
naked and wet
so soothing
warmth
Fall

The painful part is how he talks like me.

I've got buckets of hands
and they all want to be around you.

The average human body is about 65% water
When I see you my body is about 88% water

I'm satisfied with approximate rhymes.
Like to rain again.
Or to lie for eternity.
I'll say your name for years, that'll sound off too.

Bobbing your head to your favorite song
You lent me an earbud
White noise

The painful part is how he acts like me.

Or maybe it isn't him,
or you,
or me,
maybe it isn't anything at all.
Wouldn't that be terrifying?

I tend to fall for beautiful destruction.

The ones who will dedicate my favorite love song to me
So when they leave I can't hear it without thinking of them.

The ones who will call late at night
and talk about nothing
Till i drift to asleep
So i cant rest until i hear their voice wish me goodnight.

The ones who will designate an "Our thing"
So whenever I watch "Our Movie"
Or "Our Show"
I'll remember watching it with them
and have to turn it off.

The ones who give me one nickname
So no one can call me "Darling"
without it feeling wrong.

The ones who will make inside jokes
The ones only we know
So whenever someone mentions a small thing
Like soda pop or trailer trash
a small smile will cross my lips
as I remember them.

I tend to fall for someone who takes over the small things in my life
leaving their name all over them
So when they leave
the small things leave too
leaving a whole in my life
as the things that once brought me joy
Will only bring me to tears.

I fall for the ones my mom wouldn't warn me about.

I fall for the ones who make themselves unforgettable.

I fall for the ones who seem to care.

The ones who will spam my inbox
just to get my attention
when they know i feel lonely

The ones who will call
when I'm crying
Just so they can try to cheer me up.

The ones who will say They're proud of me
when I do what to some may be small
but to me is spectacular.

The ones who will listen to my deepest thoughts
Then tell the theirs.

I fall for those who never intend to stay.

I fall for those who will only hurt me.

The ones who when we're together make me feel like heaven.
But when they inevitably leave
Will destroy me.

I tend to fall for Beautiful Destruction.