There are days,
I feel happy,
days I feel sad,
and days where I feel lonely.

However, today, I feel nothing.
It’s a strange feeling,
because is it really a feeling?
To feel nothing at all.

Perhaps it’s boredom.
Perhaps it’s not.

I could be feeling lonely or sad,
but I don’t relatively feel filled with sorrow
and I’m not dwelling on the
depressing thoughts of my world.

And I don’t feel bothered
by the fact that I am alone.
I am not craving the need for
human interaction at this moment.

There is a chance I could be
content.
But to be content has a layer
of peace behind it.

I don’t feel peace.
There are many things
I am worried about
but for today
I feel none of those things.
Maybe today I don’t have to be anything.
Maybe today I don’t have to be dictated by an
emotion.
No form to follow no thoughts to consume my mind.
Maybe my brain can be blank for a while.
Maybe I can just exist, and perhaps that can be enough…
for today.

Locked in a battle filled with heart and hurt.
Pain is something I’ve grown to known.
Continually let down and continuously being the letdown,
has made me seal my true self from the world.

Never let anyone close.
Laughing and joking
miss directing them from my truth
because I fear they will not love me.

For I’d rather keep friends
that don’t know me
then friends who do
and no longer love me.

I believe that my life will be great but
for a cost.
I will lose the love,
the love I had always dreamed of having

and live the rest of my days
alone.

Few days had passed
since your last visit.
Cleaning up from our playful
“mess.”

I came across a water bottle
that was left on my desk.
I believed it was yours since not
near my stand.

Parched, I took a drink.
Then I was instantly set back.
This water
It tasted so sweet.

I put my nose up to check,
and it smelt even sweeter.
Reminded me of a fruit,
that I had never even eaten.

How could this be?
While water so refreshing
never had much of a taste
now tasted even sweeter
than a delectable berry.

I wondered if I should chug the rest and let
the taste intoxicate me further
or sip on the water and pleasantly enjoy
the taste of you.

Oh how I find myself
always thinking of you,
craving every part,
still thirsting for your
Sweetened Water.

Blazing emotion in the lust of first sight.
Uncertain hearts, and unclear minds
tragically filled with stories
of failed loves.

Broken pieces, cracked trust,
and fake smiles, but also a growing desire.
A desire for something real
something that isn’t just a one time passion.

Something that is more than another
failed story.
Something that is real, tangible, and something
that lives on through time and time again.

So is this our new story?
Played in the major scale?
Or another minor detail
in my harrowing tale of love.

Silently watching the lives
through my phone
Seeing the smiles and connections.
Sad to see, all the things I’ll never have.

A connection that lasts longer
then a few years.
A bond stronger than the tides
and as bright as the stars.

Someone to honestly share the views of the world with
to show them myself and give them every
minor detail.
For them to love what they see.

I watch their lives through my phone.
I see that world through it.
I so badly want to live there
I so badly want to say

“Hello.”