I hate that I can’t sit up straight
I hate that I can’t properly do my hair
I hate that I’m not skinny
I hate that I don’t have the perfect voice
I hate that I’m shy
I hate that I have tiny lips
I hate that I have a learning disability
I hate that I don’t have the closet that I want
I hate that I failed my drivers test
I hate that I get really bad anxiety to the point I have trouble breathing
I hate that I can’t make friends
I hate that I have anger problems
I hate that I have to get up every morning and live my daily life
I hate everything that I’m going though
I hate that I said I forgive you and wanted you to be happy when I didn’t
I hate that I can’t talk about what’s going on in my head to the people close to me
I hate that I constantly remind myself of how much I’m a failure
I hate that I think of places that I can’t afford to go to
I hate that I don’t cry at funerals
I hate that I still have to be treated like a child even tho I’m 18
I hate that I’m so ******* nice to people
I hate that I care about my dog more then I care about myself
I hate that I constantly remind myself of you and what happened
I hate that I still try to convince myself that I love you even tho I don’t, not one bit.... I think
I hate that I have to end this with the last sentence saying how I hate myself

It’s 1:43am and I can’t sleep
Thinking about you makes me overthink
Everything seems better when I’m with you
I’m keeping track of the time
Every minute is worth it when I’m with you

It’s 1:44am
Nothing makes me more happy then when I’m with you
I don’t think you understand how much I love you
I made a promise to myself that I will live my best life

It’s 1:45am
Happy life for myself
You make me happy
I don’t want to hurt myself again by keeping everything inside
I don’t want to be hurt again
I don’t want to me sad again

It’s 1:46am
Everything was just so bad for me at the time
Life had me in the palms of its hands

It’s 1:47am
It felt like everything was over at such a young age
Nothing made me happy
Nothing made me wake up and want to smile
Nothing made me want to wake up and have a purpose in this world
Nothing and I mean

It’s 1:48am
Nothing
You came into my life when I was done
I didn’t care at all about anything
You gave me a purpose

It’s 1:49am
You made me think of my future
Of my family and friends
A family with you
I took me in and helped me
With love, honesty

It’s 1:50am
You gave me everything I needed to came back from that dark place
Yeah we fight
Yeah we have our differences
But still at the end of the day we say I love you

It’s 1:51am
No matter how bad the arguments were
We are still there for each other
And that’s all I need
I’m there for you and your here for me

It’s 1:52am
That’s all we need... is each other
I love

It’s 1:52am and I’m madly in love with you.

It’s 1:54am

I was pushed into somewhere I didn’t want to be
I had no where to go but in there
There where it was nothing but shadows,
The screams of terror were silent to ones who could hear
The tears of the pain were the happiness of ones face
The scars on their arms were teased
The hand that wrote that beautiful song and brought joy into people
Were the same ones that held that blade in sadness
And you shook it


I was lost with
No heart
No emotion
No care
Not even love
Crying because I thought there was something to be
You meant everything to me
You knew that
You knew that I cared
And you let me go

You put me though something I didn’t even know existed
You like playing games
Games that leave me with nothing but pain and sadness
I hate you
But I love you
I don’t want anything to do with you
But I want you to come back
You coming back would make me happy
But you don’t care

I’ve spent days at a time thinking about you
And the type of love you give to people
You make me sick
And I will never respect you
But I still love you somehow

I’m Sorry
For all the things I’ve said
For all the words I didn’t say
For all the texts I sent
For all the texts I didn’t send
I’m Sorry

I’m Sorry
For all the memories I’ve missed
For all the tears I’ve left
For the anger I let out
For keeping the happiness inside you
I’m Sorry  

I’m Sorry
But sorry doesn’t help
Sorry doesn’t bring the time back from arguing
Doesn’t bring back the time you spent crying
Doesn’t bring back the time you doesn’t yelling
But still
I’m Sorry

I’m Sorry
Sorry I didn’t give you my best
Sorry I didn’t love you the way you told you I did
Sorry I didn’t give you everything you dreamed of
Sorry for giving you the wrong thought of who I am
I’m Sorry

Sorry
I wasn’t there when you needed me
When you called because you needed to talk to someone
For when you needed to be held
For when you needed me to tell you everything was ok
For when I didn’t wipe the tears away
For when I didn’t take the pain away
I’m so so sorry

I’m Sorry

And I love you

I’m Sorry for loving you

I’m Sorry

Have you ever been in love?
By being in love have you ever felt trapped?
Not only trapped in your heart but in your mind?
By being trapped have you ever felt lost?
Like imagine yourself sitting in the dark, cold, darkness of the night, sitting in a cage. That’s locked up and no one is there to let you free.
That’s how I feel.
By being lost have you ever felt like you give too much to people who don’t want what you give?
Like love!?
I give a lot to people.
By giving a lot do you feel forgotten?
Can I ask you one last question?
How old were you when you fell for somebody who didn’t care?
No matter how close you two were