Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Aug 2015 Gillian Godwin
Ivy Smith
"I'm fine," she says with a halfhearted grin.
"I'm fine," she says again, waving away a helpful hand.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, several minutes later.
"I'm fine," she whispers, wiping her face.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says moments after the cry leaves her lips.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, sinking to the floor.
"I'm fine," she tells herself, shaking in a ball.
"I'm fine," she repeats, picking up the razorblade.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says to her concerned family.
"I'm fine," she insists as those who love her worry.
"I'm fine," she says to anyone who listens.
"I'm fine," she lies as she slices her wrists.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she cries, sobbing on the bathroom floor.
"I'm fine," she wails, but only in a whisper.
"I'm fine," she mutters, watching the blood leave her wrist.
"I'm fine," she practices, stepping from the room.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she assures the world outside.
Gillian Godwin May 2015
Death won't come to me tonight.
I might hold the kitchen knife to my throat,
but I can't take the last blow.
This crimson canvas has just enough blank space
for one more paint brush stroke.
But it couldn't be a masterpiece.
For you are Picasso.
Only you can fill the blank space.
Gillian Godwin Apr 2015
Licking away the blood
Letting it fall
This cut runs too deep
Time stops as its hard to breath
In this heavy night air
My last breath is drawn from my lungs
As I blunge down from castle
Into the Ocean below
Let me drown
End my suffering and loneliness
For you must face it
This cut runs far too deep
And you can't stop the bleeding
Gillian Godwin Apr 2015
Sweet nothings whispered in my ears
"You are beautiful"
These words venom to my ears
I wouldn't believe such admiration
You see beauty
While I see myself every morning
And am filled with hatred and disgust
For I am no beautiful jewel of the sea
As you proclaim me to be
You haven't seen all of me
Just what I will for you to see
But once I do
And show you all that you wish to know
You will turn away and feel the same disgust
Then will you understand
Why I turn my head
When you,
my love
Speak sweet nothings in my ear
"You are beautiful"
Then will you know
Why I shed that single tear
Gillian Godwin Apr 2015
Never would I make you stay
I would never put you through that misery
Where you would have to look at me
And not feel the same
I would never put you through that misery
When you know that I love you more than anything
And yet
I feel no love in return
From you
Gillian Godwin Apr 2015
She tells me about her past. A ****. A ******.
She lies to me -- I'm fine. It was no big deal. It doesn't bother me anymore.
She knows. I know.
They don't.
She tells me not to call the police. That it's a secret and that its over now.

He hurt her.
I don't know who he is and she won't tell me.
Says that she's protecting me.
That if he knew that I knew, he would get me too.

She remembers everything from that night.
The bad man didn't know that she was watching.
Didn't think she was home.
As he put the gun to her mothers head.

The bad man was in jail for a while.
He's back now.
And he's looking for her
She won't admit it, but she's scared.
Because what we both know,
Is that she never left that house.
**She's still there.

— The End —