kammy: Favorites

May 2018 kammy

The Anniversary of What Started Everything

May 2018 kammy

Her

The Anniversary of What Started Everything

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

#**** #abuse #adult #child #hurt #emotional

May 2018 kammy

The Anniversary of What Started Everything

May 2018 kammy

Her

The Anniversary of What Started Everything

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

#**** #abuse #adult #child #hurt #emotional

Mar 2018 kammy

If the day ever comes.

Mar 2018 kammy

M Aiman A

If the day ever comes.

I always pray that it will never come to this
But if the day ever comes
when the last petal falls
I will be hiding far away from myself

The morning it falls
Ill starve myself and lock the door
Carve my self from you and all of your senses
On the stomach you always touch up all the way to my throat

The evening sun
Will take me to the kitchen where i used to prepare my love
How do i do things i do without you?
Everything without you left quite an ugly bitter aftertaste

I am thinking baby maybe
Ill keep myself away
From all the bottled red and blue on the shelves
But now, now could i even tell what is real and what is not?

On that day
I will cry myself a stellar river
Drowning every inch of my sense
Will it clean myself from you?

In another live
I will put everything on the line
That time around
I'll make sure that
I don’t have to write this stupid poem

#breakups #sad #emotional #relationship #love #cry #goodbye #time #forever #bye

Mar 2018 kammy

My Story.

Mar 2018 kammy

elizabeth

My Story.

Tragedy struck
At just age 13.
My innocence-
Murdered in the rain.
Not the physical rain,
But the rain of my tears.
My story is different,
But just as terrible.
He stole the beauty
Of my soul and heart...
Leaving me dark and alone.
He ripped my confidence
Away with a single tear.
"I love you."
The lie he told
Has made me unable
To be loved.
"You're so beautiful..."
Another lie he told
Has made me unable
To believe this truth.
He ruined my beautiful,
White wings from God.
He replaced them with
Skeletal outlines of what
Once was.
My lovely face has been
Scarred by the streaming
Tears down my face.
Clawing at my skin,
I try to wash away the guilt.
"But the guilt is not yours."
They say.
"It isn't your fault."
"It isn't your fault
That he is an evil man.
It isn't your fault
That he targeted you.
It isn't your fault
That he took advantage
Of a little, naive girl.
It isn't your fault.
It isn't your fault.
It isn't your fault.
*It is not your fault, Elizabeth."

March 1, 2017.
My story is a different one, and it was very difficult to write this piece as it brought back a lot of terrible memories. But it's only different in that, I didn't actually meet up with what turned out to be a 50 year old man. Most girls end up meeting them and having terrible things happen to them. And I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry someone stole your innocence, beautiful girls.
My story is this:
I was targeted online by a ******* at 13 years old. He told me all kinds of lies and I agreed to be his "girlfriend". He was sweet at first, saying he was 18 and he couldn't wait to see me, etc. But they all start out sweet. He began talking explicitly to me, and I complied and said the same things in the messages. A decision I regret to this day. My parents found out I was speaking to someone online, and the police were called. Three years later, after trials and fighting with him and his lawyers, he is finally in prison. But he has left me with scars and demons that haunt me every day.
My depression, anxiety, and minor PTSD have stemmed from this situation. And my mental issues may be worse than that.
I was inspired to write this out because of John Baverstock's poem "Jamie's Story". So thank you for that.
I hope you will not judge me for this.

#depression #heart #pain #memories #soul #innocence #trauma #stolen #online #*******

Mar 2018 kammy

Love IS Love

Mar 2018 kammy

Love

Love IS Love

Love is love,
And details don't matter.
Love is caring,
And kind,
And affectionate.
It doesn't matter what the circumstances.

A man and a woman,
Two men,
Two women,
A black person and a white person,
A Mexican and Italian.
A Christian and a Jew.
An Atheist and Buddhist.
One who's 17 and one who's 22.

All of these are love.
I don't care what you say,
Or what your textbook definition of love is.
Nothing you say can change my mind.
Love is beautiful.
Now shut your mouth,
And stop the hate.

Mar 2018 kammy

coming out

Mar 2018 kammy

a

coming out

when i was 10,
my father said,
"i'll walk the aisle when you wed. "
when i was 12,
my father unfurled,
"you're dead to me if you like girls."
when i was 14,
my father cried,
"slit those wrists, say goodbye."
when i was 15,
my father did grieve,
"pick up your bags, i need you to leave."
now at 16,
my father is silent.
my home is too far,
my wrists are still violent.
my family is none,
my bones have grown weary.
life's closing my door;
deaths locking the windows,
im trapped in a shell
of homosexual innuendos.

(if you struggle with sexuality or abuse due to, call this hotline 1-800-850-8078)

#abuse #lgbt

Mar 2018 kammy

Rainbows

Mar 2018 kammy

Bre Woeller

Rainbows

Society scoffs when a man
holds hands with a man. Shakes
their head at a                  woman kissing
another woman.                        For-fidelity to them
is between the                              opposite. When
it's between                                      love and love
Rainbows are                                        for the outcasts
of society. Yet                                                  for innocent
children Where                                                same genders
holds hands with                                                    out a problem
These colors                                                          represent a place
where a ***                                                                  of gold exists

#gay #trans #lgbt #lesbian #bisexual

Mar 2018 kammy

This is love.

Mar 2018 kammy

Rose

This is love.

They say that love is between a man and a woman.
That the racing hearts and soft whispers are to be between that of a man and a woman.
Yet when I look at her, my heart races and my mind fogs.
They say it is wrong to love that of the same ***.
That the soft touches and moans of pleasure should be shared between a woman and a man.
But when her mouth meets mine and my hands find her hair, I can't help but think that they are the ones that are wrong, not this.
Because this,
Her mouth on mine,
Our bodies flush against each other,
The look in her eyes,
Is love.
The soft whispered words and racing hearts is now something that both she and I share.
And when her body slots perfectly with mine
And her eyes show that there is nowhere else she would rather be,
I know that this is love.
The way my breath hitches
And my heart races
And her soft gaze is all I can seem to focus on,
I know that this is love.
And if this is what love is,
If this is what it really feels like,
It will never be wrong.
This is love.

2-9-18

#lgbt #love