Three days ago...
Everything was perfect. I wouldn't have asked for more or less than what I had.

Because I had you.

Now...
Everything is wrecked. Feelings of emptiness and loneliness have consumed what was once present.

Now...
I cannot sleep because I see you in my dreams. I cannot stand being awake because I think about you.

Now...
I think about what we had and I gag at the idea of us making love. Because I gave you all I had and I know you gave me nothing.

Now...
I wish I still had you but, I don't.  And I miss you terribly. And frankly it *****.

I thought if I ever got this lost
Someone or something would find me

I thought if I ever felt this low
I might just drop dead and die

But the thing about life is that it keeps going
It doesn't care how you survive

And the thing about you is that you don't care enough
And the thing about me is that I keep hoping you will
And my hope you ****
every time .

how could I be so naive
and believe
all your attempts to deceive?

now I question with guilt
how many stories have you built?
have you woven a small patch, or a whole quilt?

how could I be so blind
while played with my mind
and fed me truths you had designed?

you have betrayed my trust
the connection between us has withered to dust
I try to look upon you with disgust

but there's some part of me that feels
perhaps our rifts could heal
if only you could learn that to lie is to steal

have you ever felt
so empty
that your only satisfaction was
hearing your ribs crackle
and your lungs grow and shrink
and your heart beat
and your lashes rustle
because nothing else
proves you
that you are alive

I eat my dinner while I watch TV because I'm hungry
And then I keep eating for my sadness
I force myself to laugh because
**** him, I don't ******* need him to be happy

She goes to a party with her friends
She wants to have fun so she takes a couple of shots of *****
She's drunk and she knows it
But her mind is still somewhere else
Somewhere where she doesn't want it to be
So she takes another 5 shots

He's with his friends now
"Stop being such a *****, **** that *****! Forget her. I'll find you another *** tomorrow"
He does a little laugh to show agreement
Puff Puff Pass
His eyes are already red and glossy
He wants to call her and tell her he misses her, but **** that
Boys don't cry over girls
Puff Puff Pass
On to the next one

We all have different forms of distractions
Some use alcohol
Some use drugs
But at the end of the day
We'll do anything and everything to distract ourselves from missing someone

You are an *******.

You made me believe that every time you said I love you would be the beginning of something that would last forever, you made me believe that every time you held me in your arms it would be a safe place to go like the way that the birds fly into the trees and know that no matter where they go, they can always come home.

You made me believe that maybe someday I would be good enough to be somebody's mother.

You made me believe that when I looked into the mirror that I was somebody beautiful, not because of the way you held me, but that since you saw something and you never lied, it must be true.

So excuse me if I don't understand how you can look at me now as if I'm just an person in a picture that you forgot about, I don't know how you can look at her the way that you used to look at me and not feel the pain that I feel; knives ripping apart the heart that you worked so desperately to stitch back together then gave up on. I don't understand how you can say that you'd fight for her when you gave up your future with me so easily...

See... how can I go on with knowing that the future that I planned with you, the names that we named together, the plans that we made together would all crumble away with the few words "I don't think we should be we anymore." I accept my mistakes. I was not always right and I put too much on you, but I needed you...

I needed you and you left... because you said it was too much for you.

I told you that I could change and be better, but you said I was perfect just the way I was. You said that I didn't deserve you and when you said it, you meant I didn't deserve pain that you might put me through...

But you see...

How dare you tell me what I deserve.

How dare you tell me that my future that I planned with you was no longer an option. How dare you throw away the one love that listened to me when I said

"No. Stop. Please."

How can you look at me the way you did before before you knew the pain that I've gone through? I shared depths of my heart and parts of my soul that had never seen the sun, but now only know the warm light of your love.

I trusted you... And I trusted what we would become. I put all my eggs in a basket that wasn't woven quite right and watched helplessly as it fell apart. I hope that maybe someday you'll see what I saw and know that it's not fair for you to say I didn't deserve you when you made me feel like I deserved the world.

I just want you to see what I saw.

Somebody worth loving... and sharing my little part of eternity with.

You Were Red.
You Liked Me Cause I Was Blue.
You Touched Me;
And Suddenly I Was A lilac Sky And You,
Decided Purple Just Wasn't For You.

if you want it
take it
i should have said it before
tried to hide it
fake it
i can't pretend anymore
i only want to die alive
never by the hands of a broken heart
i don't want to hear you lie tonight
now that i become who i really am
this is
the part when i say i don't want you
i'm stronger than i been before
this is
the part when i break free
i can't resist it no more
you were better
deeper
i was under your spell
like a deadly
fever, babe
on the highway to hell
thought of your body
i came alive
it was lethal
it was fatal
in my dreams
it felt so right
but i woke up
every time

Sorry is an understatement
For all I've caused in my cruel life
I guess there is no measurement
I've brought misery and strife

How can I erase all my mistakes?
Can I take back every word?
All the lies and hearts I did break
And ease those I disturbed

Regret is clogging my mind
And has taken over my rage
If only I could rewind
And show how much I've changed

I will wait until they deem me fit
Of their forgiveness or not
You don't know how good you have it
Until it is lost