I'd rather live my life not knowing
When I'll pack up my belongings
And wave cold goodbyes to my loved ones
Watch them heal themselves at the funeral
Which isn't really for me
But for their hurt hearts
It'll be then when my world transforms
To black and white
Colorless
No more happiness
They cry when I'm born
They cry when I die
And thy cry with every little other thing
That's hurt me in my life
Why is sadness a thing?
Sadness is like a *** of gum
It has that initial burst of flavor
Which slowly fades away
But you still chew it
Because it's there
And you just for some reason
You don't let it go
Until you go to bed
Where you can just experience
A nightmare
Instead
Though I'd rather not know my death day
Until the snow is melted
And I am imbetted
In the ground

Time scars all with the wounds they were said to heal
Sure the marks not visible, but the pain is ever so real
Staring at the hands that mend my fate
Circadian rythum thrown off is it too early or too late?
Half or a quater of my past an electrical impulse away
Memories faded by time but the pain is here to stay
The smell of your clothes, a nostalgic aroma
Time heals all wounds as these scars get older

I don't have a gag reflex anymore
Because I've shoved my fist down my throat
Far too many times
Just trying to pull out the words I cannot conjure
They all taste acerbic
And sound as bitter and damaging as they taste

I can't lose her,
not this one,
not this time.
She is everything I've waited for,
she fits perfectly in my life.
I can't think of it,
I'm begging her not to hide,
she's making me lose my mind,
did I lose my mind?
Did I? No.
Did I? No.
Did I lose my mind? "NO."
I tell myself as I remember all
the times my grandpa said he
knew a shortcut and it took us
twice as long to get where we
were going.
I want her to meet him one day
just so I can turn to him and say,
"hey grandpa, this is my girlfriend."
And if he falls of his chair so be it,
cuz I know my grandma will be
looking down at me smiling,
happy to see just how happy she makes me.
My grandma she will never get to meet,
the one woman who was so important to me,
but she will know how much she meant,
she already knows, and she will find pieces
of her in every other person in my family,
she'll find in them just where I got my crazy.
I'll just have to remind her that no matter
how long it took us, my grandpa always
got us to our destination,
and I promise myself that her and I,
we will most definitely get to mine.
There is no doubt in my mind that she is
the one I want in my life.

What better way
to celebrate Life
than with relics of Death?