The Quest for Peace. . .*

Where has all the happiness gone?
The enthusiasm, the spirit, the passion?
How did it all go wrong?
When did reality start to dawn?

Can't a brother just dream?
Is it too much to ask for it all to be real?
Is it too much to long for a life of ease?
Is it too much to just want to be at peace?

I want to live like a king. Of that life, I want a taste.
I want to cross the seas. On a yacht, I want to set sail.
I want to live in a mansion. In my house, I will take a trip.
I want them to sing my songs, my name on their lips.

But, When did my dreams start to fail?
What wrong step did I take?
Am I not good enough, or this is simply my fate?
What is left of this life? What else remains?

I search for ears to hear my story.
Maybe they'll see it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't playing.
Maybe they'll see my tears are real, that I'm not pretending.
Maybe they'll give me a fresh start, a new beginning.

'Try Try Try', they keep chanting.
'I'm giving it my all', I keep saying.
'Why did you fail', they keep asking.
I tried my best, yet was found wanting.

Help me get back up, I keep begging.
'You brought this on yourself', they keep yelling.
I know I messed up, but I need your help. Please, I'm begging!!!
'This is your mess', they say, You alone shall do the cleaning.

Deaf ears and blind eyes are all I keep getting.
'You're a man', they keep saying.
'This isn't the way you should be acting'.
You'll be fine, just get up and keep pushing.
I know this, but why am I still hurting?

I go out to the balcony,
Where the wind is howling.
With tears streaming;
On top of my voice, I start screaming!!!

Who would come to my aid?
Who would help me with this pain?
God, please, I need this agony to go away!
I promise I'll do anything, no matter what it takes!

But echoes are all I hear.
I look at myself as I drown in despair.
This is too much for me to bare.
This life isn't for me. ****, man. This isn't fair.

Maybe I just need to get some relief.
Something to take away all this grief.
Maybe everything just needs to cease.
So I take flight, hoping, that I find some peace.

'Today, The Jay...'*

I open my eyes to see its a new day.
Today, What's the day?
Is it Saturday or Sunday?
The only thing of which I'm certain
Is that its not a weekday.

So, What can I do today?
Without delay,
The first thing I do is get my tray
Light a blunt to take the pain away.
Inhale and exhale,
Through the passageways.
Chill. . . Then, light another, just because its today.
I'm still in bed, but it's already a good day.

I push the sheets and pillows out the way
Then I get up to empty last night's fluids away.
Then to the kitchen, wondering what I can eat today
What can I do, to keep the hunger at bay?
Maybe some rice and filet?
A little something to kickstart the day.

While the food preps, I go back to my tray.
I smile and giggle as I sculpt my one true love, the Jay
With me at any time, anywhere, in any form, on any day.
Even though I'm already high; 'Hooray'.
I still want another hit of the Jay

The Jay,
Hits, Without delay.
Stays,
When everyone goes away.
Fades,
All the pain away.

My worries, It allays.
My happiness, it brings to the fray.
Keeps my mind, from going astray.
Literally, takes my breath away.

Causes, no form of decay
Keeps me, from getting 'ire'
Doesn't negotiate, doesn't parlay.
Just good vibes, all the way.

The love of the Jay;
Isn't just a single foray.
Its a constant exchange,
Everyday.

It's a feeling, that once attained,
Nothing, will ever take its place.
And there goes the tale of my day,
Spent with my true love, the Jay.