And I can’t stop thinking about
that kid from BVNW.
My heart hurts.
And I find myself crying tears that have
no reason,
no rhyme,
no purpose.

Because,
you see,
WE NEVER INTERTWINED
So why are you engraved on the edges of my
mind…

Our lives touched,
yes. But through the lives that others
lived.

I know someone that you
knew. Knew because
past tense is the definition of death.
That is all that death is.
Switching from
Present to past.

When I heard that a
tree fell at BVNW
I couldn’t help feeling…
Relief.
It wasn’t my school.
Relief.
Not again.
Relief.

I know it’s..
Selfish.
But I can’t help myself.
And maybe that’s why
I can’t stop thinking about
you. You consume my mind,
Blake.

Everyone around me
easily carries out
the day to day.
But I don’t know how anymore.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING’S DIFFERENT
now.
Another kid is dead
AND I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT
him.

Did you even know
that Blake wore
beanies?
Did you even care?

Sometimes I think I’m the
only one who so
deeply contemplates
death.

So If a tree falls
in a different forest
than mine,
then why am I feeling the
Reverberations?
I feel like I’m the only
one who
can.

How can you feel so much
for a tree you never even saw
Until it was a
fallen
tree.

So I guess this is a
letter to
Blake from BVNW.
Even though our forests
never touched,
I
heard it when your tree fell.
I
felt the reverberations.
I
felt the earth shudder and
readjust.
Because the balances are
different now.
And we must figure out
how to live once more.
How to live without your tree
in the
forest.

All this time I have been hating myself for falling in love with you
Letting my guard down now my heart never wants to be away from you
I don't even know what it is that keeps driving my back to you
I would say it's your charms, beauty, but that's honesty not the truth
Now every girl I see my mind automatically compares her to you
But no one ever exceeds you and that's the honest truth
I know I sound insane but my mind just won't understand
My heart is confused convinced that it'll come back to you
Not getting through its thick skull  that I lost you
So now I'm lonely soul walking a dreaded path
Not knowing why I was destined to face such wrath

The first that runs..
The shadow that burns
The falling sky that turns
Our lives poking fun
Are you really seconds to none?
Cards stacked against one
A new era begun
Ultimate truth redone
Death outthought outrun
What's still left undone
The nature can't deny
Outlived...
Outcry...
Countless times I retry
The reach to the sky
Breathing a sigh
Something more than meets the eye
Not even my soul would deny...
I belong to you!
Darkness fades into
Light that streams into
Pitch black this heart breaks into
Pieces that says your name
Burning old flames
Taking an aim
At the love game
Forget and forgive
For you I live
-AJ

I have fallen
In love
With the sun
Keeps me warm
After everyone
Has left
Never leaving
Me as long as
I run backwards
But I'd do
Somersaults
For that love
My lovers
On this earth
Can't compare
To that celestial
Beauty

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.

I desire to feel my belly swell
preparing another life
protruding promises of a perplexing nature
a plethora of predecessors piling from my womb
Let me be a creator of Strength and all the divine in the form of bright eyed chocolate children of my design
Offspring that will teach us about ourselves no matter our impurities

To Hell with the beings that tell me when I am ready to birth Change
Beauty shall tumble from me with Pride following too
Poise and Good Nature writhing in my body
Never will I be a mother of Contamination
Never will I produce Arrogance and Disaster
My children
Our children  
My joy
Our joy
All holding the key to the world