they say that time is supposed to heal but the wounds you left were permanent and raw and they still bleed today if I stretch too much
my mind is a vast expanse and you are the lonesome tree in the centre dominating the landscape leaving room for nothing else
you said our love would transcend death but our love is dead and I wish I was too
my body was the battlefield and your tongue was the weapon and we fought many wars together but we all know battle scars never fade and you left as rashly as you came leaving me a barren wasteland
and I yearn to feel your body against mine, shadows cast by neon lights 12.01 am getting sweaty and hot and it picks up pace and no one has to know because nights like these will last forever yes laying here in your arms for eternity
gone
one day you decided that i was not enough
one day you realised that settling down was not for you.
one day you left
and you never returned

There was an Old Man of the Cape,
Who possessed a large Barbary ape,
Till the ape one dark night
Set the house all alight,
Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

He tried to spit out the truth;
Dry-mouthed at first,
He drooled and slobbered in the end;
Truth dribbling his chin.

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Knock! Knock! Knock! On my door.
An unexpected visitor? Never before.
In my comfort,  to the door I amble.
But once the doors open, its too much to handle.

The memories flood through, not wanting to leave.
They reach above my neck. I struggle to breath.
I try to find any possible way out,
But there's no one around
to hear me shout.

(A tap on my shoulder)I realise I'm still in line.
"Here's your coffee, miss. Are you alright? "
I'm just fine.

Dear friend,

I know things aren't right, I know this life is slowly taking the fight out of you but I've seen you stand while bleeding and beaten black and blue.

I've been by your side with every triumph and failure, ever endeavour.
I've been here for every heartbreak, trying to fix the cracks they create, to pick up the pieces of you and hold them till you're ready to be whole again.

I love you more than words can express, more than you could feel but loving you can be a headache, a heartbreak.

But I love you.

I've been here for years, so cheers to this, cheers to 6 years and many more to come.

the word grief is reminiscent of gross, open mouthed sobbing
of mucus swirling down your face, into your mouth
of the angry red of bloodshot eyes
and the drowning blue of sadness that stays

I awoke to the sound of weeping, was a second before I realized it was my own.
It was strange because I felt like laughing, sad as that would be all alone.
My tired mind couldn't help it though, my decaying body couldn't stop.
I wheezed a laugh so wretched, into the dry cemented ground.
I spat blood onto the concrete, spat spit onto the road.
The broken old town around me, wouldn't mind the blood below. Closest thing to rain its seen, since six or so centuries ago.
My opponent was standing smugly, dark and tall and grim.
My shadow was never one to fault me, for the failure I'd always been.

I came to the realization
that I'm unable to love,
at least for now.

I don't hold on to anyone
or anything, but rather,
my own insecurities.

I've tried to love, and when
I do, I only wonder if they'll
love the things about me that
I have yet to love about myself.

If your self love has limits,
so will the love you receive.


-j.nas

every 28 days,
the human skin replenishes itself.
my hands are tired of building new homes
on top of old eviction letters.
I am aching for a body
that treats me like a cure,
and not the disease that needs it.

I live as a counterfeit version of myself;
I am a kleptomaniac who steals the breath
from people that would have found a use for it.
tell me how to refund
what I didn't buy.

my veins are a breeding ground for despondency,
my bones a shelter for malaise.
to try to be kind to myself
is to cauterize a wound
after the infection has already spread.