If only Beauty weren't capitalized in my vocabulary.
But it is...
And I can't change it. :/

Winter frost whispers
Ice tracing the window pane
Shimmering silence

You know what kind of guy I want?
Preferably a guy in high school
A guy who's only hobbies don't include
drinking and smoking and getting high
who hasn't fallen into that trap
and I mean really, that's so f!cking mainstream
but those are more prerequisites I guess
The REAL type of guy I want
is a guy who breaks down my walls
because honestly
I have never let a guy in
and told him my secrets
and I never will, immediately
but a guy who keeps pushing
kindly and politely,
but manages to break down my walls.
entirely.
enough for me to show him my darker side.
because not everyone realizes I have one
but for a boy
to actually succeed in breaking down
the walls I always put up.

too bad that will never happen.
after all, why would they care enough
to even try.

***! You are SO pretty! It's too bad you're a massive ***** and step on other people to get yourself to the top not caring how horrible you make everyone feel.

11:59-Ikr I LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches!
12:01-I killed a man once...

What do people's names mean?
I looked mine up.
It is scarring.
I am so sad now. :(

Tell me what your name means in the comments section! 'Cause I'm curious! I won't make fun of you if your name means something insane! ...probably... lol

Just take The Risk, risk The Chance,
Even if the cost is Lonely
Because nothing tastes as bitter
As what ifs and if onlys

My poetry gets really dark when I'm hurting.
My poetry gets bubbly when my love-life starts to pick up.
My poetry gets short when I am broken.
My poetry gets weird when I am tired. Like, REALLY weird...
My poetry gets violent when I am angry. As in FREAKING violent.
My poetry gets dumb when I am bored.
but all of the words I write are made of genuine feelings

I'm fine. I promise. Please don't worry about me.

You are such a waste of poetry

Things were so much less complicated when we were little, but now I feel like I don't even know you anymore.

Fingernails tearing off skin
Digging into flesh
That red sticky liquid
dripping down my wrist
my teeth sink in
stabbing mercilessly
viciously with my canine teeth
Strawberries taste delightful!

If you had a bad day today
I just wanted to remind you
That you are wonderful
And you are worthy of life
I am here if you need to talk
I am here if you need to vent
Nothing anyone ever says
Nothing that ever happens
Is worth tearing yourself apart over
because this life
is yours
don't let society
take your life
away from you
you are a beautiful soul :)

Tiffany Gold
Is a kind soul
Like shallow whispering waters
Like winter shivers
And silver lining
and thin ice
delicate
lovely.

How do I survive
When I can't breathe
Any other air
But yours
And you
Are not around
anymore

If the power goes out in an elementary school, hell has official frozen over.

Duct tape, bubble wrap and chocolate brownies don't fix everything
but they don't hurt, so my grocery list is gonna be weird for a little while.

What are some things that make you happy? (Perferably tangible things)
I need some ideas for a thing I'm doing

I have never met a boy
brave enough to say hello to me first
just out of the blue
because he liked me
and now I realize
that would be because
I am not worth noticing
im not the type of girl
boys fall for
or the type that boys
want to say hello to

You know what I want?
I want a guy friend.
I have had two guy friends EVER
and I ended up technically dating both
...yeah, that ended badly.
Anyway,
they never really were
particularly close to me though,
when we were friends
we rarely talked
I couldn’t ask them guy stuff
I couldn’t text them random stuff
I couldn’t ask them for advice or vent to them
I wasn’t really close with them
What I want is for a guy
Around my age
So, high school age
To be my friend
Not my boyfriend
Not in a flirtationship
Just a friend
A guy in high school (so around my age)
Who I can send “hellooooo” to seven times
without them freaking out
like girls can do with their friends who are girls
A guy I can just talk to about life
Without drama
Without random *******
that always happens between girls
just a guy who can know me
inside out
who can be my “male influence”
who can tease me
who I can tease back
who I can rant to about my love life
and he can give a boy’s opinion and view on it
a guy who I can listen to
about his life
help him with his girl love life problems
a guy who is willing to trust me
a guy who will talk to me
a guy I can be REAL friends with
I just want a guy friend.
But I don’t know where to find one… :(

I really have never ever met anyone braver than you.

How to cook a gourmet (whatever the hell that means) dinner:

Step 1: Send your boyfriend a text inviting him over for a romantic, candlelit home-cooked gourmet dinner.

Step 2: Remember that you are forever alone and don’t have a boyfriend.

Step 3: Go buy mass amounts of chocolate and cry about it.

Step 4: Get over it and invite over your grandmother instead.

Step 5: Preheat the oven to 975 degrees

Step 6: Freak out about the fire in your oven and turn it off.

Step 7: Open all your doors to let the smoke out.

Step 8: Get out all the ingredients you need for the recipe you are
following.

Step 9: End up eating most of the ingredients before you even get to
use them.

Step 10: Spill oil and wine all over your recipe book (umm pffft the
wine is TOTALLY one of the ingredients, that’s why you had it out… heh heh… yeah…)

Step 11: Panic and try to dry it off by taking the book outside and waving it around.

Step 12: Watch in horror as all the pages in your book tear and fly off
into the wind.

Step 13: Chase hopelessly after the pages down the block screaming
swear words and having a heart attack.

Step 14: Politely smile and wave awkwardly at your neighbour who
hates you.

Step 15: Yell an apology across the street to that other neighbour who
REALLY doesn’t like you with the little five year old daughter who is
now repeating all of your colorful vocabulary words you just yelled.

Step 16: Reluctantly accept the fact that your recipes are gone. And also
that you have just contributed to the global problem of littering the
streets.

Step 17: Walk back to your smoke-scented house in shame.

Step 18: Look through pictures of scrumptious-looking meals on
Pinterest.

Step 19: Get inspired and decide to put your brilliant idea of creating your own recipe into action.

Step 20: Get out your frying pan and throw a bunch of random ingredients in.

Step 21: Put out yet another fire and realize that marshmallows, sprinkles, raisins, baking soda, orange peels and liquid gasoline probably wouldn’t have tasted very good together anyway.

Step 22: Wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

Step 23: Get distracted by the television for half an hour.

Step 24: Try to microwave 2 week old mac and cheese you forgot to
throw out.

Step 25: Watch as your microwave malfunctions and spontaneously
combusts.

Step 26: Decide to clean it up later because you just cannot even deal
with it right now.

Step 27: Fill a *** with water to make pasta and try to boil the water.

Step 28: Somehow manage to burn the water.

Step 29: Wonder how that even happened?!!!!

Step 30: Give up and call the pizza delivery guy.

Step 31: When you grandmother arrives have her take a seat in the
kitchen.

Step 32: Call an ambulance when she has a heart attack seeing the mess
in your kitchen.

Step 33: Get ready to leave and drive after the ambulance to the
hospital with your grandmother once the pizza arrives so you can
bring it with you. Get a call from the pizza place.

Step 34: Listen to the manager explain that your pizza spontaneously
burst into flames in the oven and they are terribly sorry there will be a
delay in the delivery due to this.

Step 35: Pass out.

So help me God, if any guy ever hurts you I will make sure he wakes up wondering where his internal organs went.

I plan on going way over the top to keep you from slipping through the cracks. I know that won't fix it, but it can't hurt. I'll be here to support you no matter what. If you are broken and distant and unreachable, I'll be there to listen. If you just need someone else to talk so you can keep your mind off of your emotions that refuse to stay in your control, I will blabber on and on (I'm good at that), if you are okay but certainly not happy I will send you multiple jokes that are super unfunny to any normal person but given our sense of humor, might be kinda hilarious. If you are drowning in memories I will buy you insane amounts of chocolate and try my very hardest to draw your attention away from the past. Instead we can point out every problem with Disney princesses and speak in very offensive "Russian" (and I use that term very loosely) accents just for the hell of it.
Expect me to go over the top with this. I will be there to support you, and it will involved ALOT of chocolate!

Does anyone else ruin other people's knock knock jokes 'cause it's funny as hell? :P

example: knock knock

it's open

no!!!! knock knock!

Go away I'm sleeping!

stop it! just do it properly! knock knock!!

sigghhh who's there

Lettuce!

Oh! Hi Lettuce! Come on in, I haven't seen you in forever? How's life been? Stuff at the office going well?

NOOO!!! stop wrecking it!!!



Does anyone else get WAY more excited about the bubble wrap in their gift than the actual present regardless how old you get?

Does anyone else try to register under a username that is actually significant or symbolic somehow but every single one is taken and eventually you end up going: *pfftt ***** creativity. I'm just gonna smack my forehead into the keyboard and hope for the best. 78yl4hkjgosreiuh. there. good enough.

Does anyone else completely cover their arms in words if they have access to a pen? :P

Does anyone else stay up really late like the badass they are... to read novels in the dead of the night? :P

Does anyone else insist it isn't that cold outside and refuse to wear a thick jacket then find out it actually is freaking freezing out but refuse to admit it and think oh well, my pride will keep me warm! ...omfg im an icicle.

Does anyone else read a text from someone then have to google what one of their abbreviations or words or slangs mean instead of just asking them so they don't feel stupid?

Does anyone else laugh at RIDICULOUSLY stupid things, but can hardly breathe they are laughing so hard?

Does anyone else get that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? HA! yeah, me neither.

Me when I'm ******:

Stage 1: Politely nodding and smiling. Thinking: Omfg shut up.

Stage 2: Staring at them blankly. Thinking: I'm gonna **** myself.

Stage 3: Clenched jaw and glaring. Thinking: I'm gonna **** YOU

Stage 4: Completely lost it, revving chainsaws (no accident that I pluralized chainsaws) and burning **** down, the town is in ruins and I am evilly cackling insanely and raiding chocolate stores. *Thinking: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can sneak around a house without making a sound
I could be a burglar (except I have no desire to ***** up other peoples lives and be a thief violating their homes and stealing their stuff but aside from that...)

I can bluff really well in board games and cards

I can smoothly slip things into my pocket without anyone noticing

I can hold grudges. forever
literally.

I deal with problems
In a funny way
and maybe it's because I'm selfish but
My own problems
devour me
If someone I care about
"Burdens" me (as they would say)
with their problems
It sort of drowns out my problems
Which is a good thing
Because no matter how loud I scream
No matter if I have shrieked in terror, loathing, and misery
Until my throat is raw
At my problems
I. Can. Still. HEAR. THEM.
But to hear of someone else’s life
That is far worse than I could ever imagine
It drowns out those voices in my head
…but last time
I didn’t handle it well.
That was my fault
I should have been trustworthy enough
Not to make it worse
I should have been a good friend
But I WASN’T! I KEPT HER COMPANY IN HER PRISON CELL, THE ONE SHE CALLS HER MIND
AND THAT WAS MY FAULT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT
I should have anchored myself to the shore
And kept her alive, and above the surface
In the light
But I didn’t
I just drowned with her
Down in the darkest depths
I just dragged her down farther
And I will admit
At the moment
I am not on shore
But I am not in an ocean, like her
I am treading water
In the nearest lake
And after last time, I don’t blame her for a second for not telling me
I don’t deserve to be trusted
But last time we were both in the ocean
I think I just have trouble handling it when we are both in the same type of trouble
This time
I am just struggling to stay afloat in a lake
Lakes are nice
Less of a big deal
I’m fine
Really
I will have good days and bad days in this lake
But really, I’m fine
Now that she has trusted me enough
To tell me her problems
If she is in an ocean
And I am in a lake
There is a stretch of land between us
If knowledge of secrets are chains
Running from her, to shore, to me
Then maybe I can help to keep her afloat this time
I will keep her afloat this time
I promise I will
I hope that she can trust me enough
From now on
To tell me her problems
Because this time is different
There is always potential
For it to get dark again
But that is only
If I learned absolutely nothing from last time
And I promise I certainly learned a lot
I can handle it
It hurts me far, far more
To not know what is bringing her down
It breaks my heart to think
She is afraid to dump all her problems on me
Because I want her to dump all her problems on me
It drowns out my own
And it makes me aware
And I just want to help her
I really just want to help her
Not like last time
I want another chance
To be trusted with everything
The way it used to be
To be trusted with all of the burdens
Because this time
I won’t ***** it up
I won’t let the burden crush me too
It’s like if someone hands you 30 pounds
You might fall if you weren’t expecting it
But this time
I know to expect it and how to not let it crush me
Please
I just want to be trusted
To have learned enough not to let it just get dark again between us
I want to be trusted with all the burdens
Because I can take it
It won’t  trigger me
I understand if you keep things from me
And I will never be angry with you for it
But it hurts me so much more
Not to know
Please trust me again.
Please.

I am very good at lying to everyone but my friends





These are Sinful talents you have that are really not something you should be proud of but you are actually very good at it like breaking in places, smuggling things (even if it is just smarties into the movie theater), and other random things. PLEASE feel free to add to this series post a poem and just label it "Sinful Talents (series)" and message me and I will repost it :) also include the hashtag sinfultalents

It's the girls who love the most who feel the least loved in this world

The edges of whispers tell more than the words
Tracing the secrets of echoing lies
It's hard to hear it over the silence
But I can see snowflakes in your eyes

Okay, look. Guys. Boys. Men. Males.

I've tried to change myself
I've tried just being myself

I've tried to be perfect.
I've tried to be specifically IMperfect.

I don't know what guys want in a girl's personality.
I know most guys would prefer someone who is pretty
And I'm working on that.
But how do I ACT
I know people will say: Just be yourself!
But I have MANY different sides.
Do you like them to be secretive and mysterious?
Open and friendly, not hiding anything totally honest?
How do I ACT?
If you are a GUY it would be great if you wrote a poem
About how you would want your dream GIRL to act or to be
Or if you have already found your dream girl
What are the ways she acts that you like?
It might be fun for you to write poem about
And I'd love to read it
because I want to know
how to act
how to be
for someone to actually like me.
What do guys look for in girls?
I've read thousands of poems girls have written
About their dream guy
but what about girls?
Please let me know.
I want to learn how to be.
Also, I'm bored. :P

Step 1: Take a breather. Don't start going insane and terrorizing the city with chainsaws. That is in a later step. Go have a cup of tea. Calm. If you're cold go get a blanket. Think warm thoughts. Imagine you are on fire. Okay, actually never mind, don't do that.

Step 2: Go back to your computer and hold down the off button until it completely shuts off.

Step 3: Scream obscenities at your laptop, kick it and drop it off the roof.

Step 4: Wonder why it isn't turning on.

Step 5: Call your second cousin twice removed's best friend's dogsitter's guitar teacher's Polish-speaking doctor who lives in Germany. Ask him for help. Apologize for thinking she was a man and explain the ****** hair in the pictures and her extremely deep voice were misleading. Say hello a couple times into the receiver before accepting she has hung up on you.

Step 6: Send your second cousin twice removed's best friend's dogsitter's guitar teacher's Polish-speaking doctor who lives in Germany a basket of muffins with a heartfelt apology note written in Korean, to prove you are multi-cultural.

Step 7: Hug your computer and stroke it creepily whispering: Awwww who’s a good laptop?

Step 8: Dump a bucket of water on your computer when it STILL doesn’t turn on. That’ll teach it.

Step 9: Cry about your hair not being shiny enough. Get distracted by a butterfly. Wonder why there is a butterfly in the middle of the arctic. Wonder why you are in the arctic and how you got there.

Step 10: Feed your stupid meany-pants laptop to a polar bear.

Step 11: RUN in terror from the hungry polar bear with indigestion that you have just *******.

Step 12: Get your chainsaw and go terrorize the nearest village.

Step 13: Send that village a basket of muffins and a heart-felt apology note written in gibberish so they are impressed by the fact that you are fluent in Gibberish.

(OPTIONAL STEP 14: Send that polar bear a basket of muffins. Just to be nice.)

And now...

I have come to realize how truly strong a person you are. Stronger than anyone I have ever met. To keep a secret like that, and never tell without crumbling.

And now...

I have come to realize what a selfish, self-centered ***** I really am to be so caught up in my own dumb mind with my own worthless problems that are NOTHING compared to what you withheld. I won't dwell too long on what an awful unsupportive friend and person I have been because that would once again be drawing attention back to me the selfish way I have been doing, but I feel like I have to say it at least once: I am so. so. incredibly. sorry. I never noticed or asked how you were or saw that something was wrong. I'm so so sorry I wallowed in that pathetic self-pity for so long just over my stupid issues that are so miniscule compared to yours, I basically want to whack myself in the head with my guitar I'm so ****** at myself. I am SO SORRY I wasn't there and I'm SO SO SO SORRY I surrounded you with my own dumb unnecessary negativity when you had enough of your own. I'm so sorry. I cried for nearly an hour last night out of anger with myself for not being a good friend and out of sorrow for your troubles and the pain you must be going through. You can almost always tell when I am upset somehow but that is like your odd supernatural inexplicable talent and I don’t have it. I wish I did, but I can tell when someone likes another person somehow almost always accurately but what use is that? I’m just so sorry from the bottom of my heart and I promise that beginning NOW and today I swear I am going to be here for you. I am so sorry for not being there. Okay, I’m going to stop going on about it now.
And now…
I can see everything I didn’t pick up on when I needed to so clearly.
And now…
I just want you to be okay. I JUST want you not to be in pain. I don’t know how to fix you but I’ll do anything I can to try.
And now…
I want you to know how brave you are, to go at it alone.
And now…
I want you to know, two years ago, we agreed “No Secrets”. Well, since then we have kept multiple secrets from one another. All of us. Since then that agreement has become less and less realistic. There will always be secrets and that is just a part of life.  I understand why you didn’t tell me sooner and I just want you to know that I am always prepared to drop literally everything of mine, physical, mental, and emotional to listen to you and care more about your problems than mine because yours are always and have always been far greater than any of my pitiful woes. I will always understand why you keep things from me, but when you choose to share it, in your own time, then I will always be there to listen and understand.
And now…*
I will never abandon you in this.


-Love Ember

I guess I don't exactly know what I want to be
I don't know what I think the definition of physical beauty is
Because there are people I see with very flouncy curly and glistening golden blonde hair
Then I see Asian girls with their glossy raven black locks
I see girls with STUNNING blue eyes
And girls with magnificent hazel eyes
I see two of my friends who have brown eyes like me, only they have these BEAUTIFUL maple eyes
I see girls with heart-shaped jawline
I see girls with rounder jawlines
I see girls with tiny waists
And curvy girls
I see girls with cute little smiles
And bright, wide grinning smiles
ALL OF THEM ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
I don't even know WHAT I want to be
I just know that I wish there were a celebrity
Who existed
Who was WILDY adored and loved by everyone
Who was successful and never criticized
Who was not necessarily UGLY
But was undeniably not particularly traditionally physically pretty
But her soul was LOVELY
Her personality was imperfect
And she ******* up
But she was still a GOOD PERSON
and her values and what was inside her was what made her so globally popular
Because maybe if I stopped seeing everybody as so unbelievably BEAUTIFUL
then I would stop CARING that I was so hideous
I just really wish
"Pretty" didn't have a definition
But varied
You could look at someone
And what each person found pretty
Was COMPLETELY different
because I care way too much
because I hate hearing that I am "pretty" when I so clearly am not
but it's even worse when I hear that I'm not
Or if someone edges around it by saying: But you are a beautiful person INSIDE
avoiding admitting that I'm ugly
I hate hearing about how ugly I am
because it reminds me
but I also hate hearing about how supposedly "pretty" I am
because immediately in my head
that little voice that sounds exactly like my own
except very cruel and sadistic
The mean-streak part of me
It whispers in my mind
THEY ARE LYING TO YOU
YOU ARE UGLY AND HIDEOUS
AND NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO CARE ABOUT WORTHLESS YOU.
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WHAT SOCIETY DEFINES AS PRETTY
YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND UGLY.
DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR PROMISES THAT YOU ARE PRETTY
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT.
that is all I hear in my head.
or if I hear OH BUT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT
the voice whispers: did you recognize that? Hear it? See it?
They specifically avoided saying you were physically pretty
So whether they are right or not about what is more important, inner or outer beauty
They have still admitted to you
In an underhanded way
That you ARE ugly
they have confirmed what I have always told you
YOU ARE NOT PRETTY
YOU NEVER WILL BE
and do you know what?
I don't care anymore about what is important
I want to be physically beautiful
It's like when you just really want cake
it might be unhealthy
It might not matter
It isn't good to obsess over
but you JUST WANT IT
you want it so badly
and you can't function properly without it
until you have that desire given in to
but I can't tell them that anymore
so they don't have to lie to me to spare my feelings which makes me feel awful
or so they don't have to be honest and either tell me I'm ugly or edge around it by bringing up inner beauty and using a BUT before it
because that makes me feel even WORSE
I will not talk about it anymore
I will just let it dominate my poetry
because I must write
I must WRITE to keep it from consuming me
that is all I have
If I can't speak of the pain anymore
I must write.
that is my escape.

Dear Pamela Rae

You are such a kind and magnificent soul.

You poetry is deeply moving.

You are a deeply moving person and poet.

You words make my day all the time and you are truly inspiring.

I have selected some of my favorite lines from your poetry and
responded to them.

Take my smile,
dear Universe
so that I might know pain
-Pamela Rae

What an extraordinary thought! Beautifully written and insightful.

I have a room
where I keep
so many memories
-Pamela Rae

It is a powerful feeling to imagine the waves of recollections washing over you as you step into a room that hold memories. Unique idea and gives physicality to otherwise intangible echoes of the past.

My heart stopped.
I thought I had
lost you.
-Pamela Rae

The dread and terror that vibrate within this phrase is so impactful you can just imagine the feeling of your pounding heart suddenly coming to a halt. To be unable to function due to shock so exquisitely contrasts numbness and anguish.

All she needs
Is to escape into life.
-Pamela Rae

Magnificent concept. To find refuge in living. Your mind works in a wonderful way.

Without Questions
there would be
no answers.
-Pamela Rae

True and lovely. Wise words. Simple and brilliant.

You keep telling me
About the mistakes I've made,
The things I've done
As if speaking of them
Will change what took place
Nothing can change
The past, nothing can erase
The hurt, the pain, the sadness—
-Pamela Rae

Such aching heartbreak grips these poetic words in such a real way. Emotions made out of syllables. I can feel the agony crawling across my skin like early winter frost on a window pane. Enchanting yet haunting.

Stop being so scared, my friend--
it's going to be okay.
-Pamela Rae

Words of encouragement are such a rare find in poetry. You come across as such a supportive person for this and I genuinely believe you are.

Dear Pamela Rae,
Your comments on my poetry and your messages always make me smile.
You have a way with words that is unlike anyone else’s.
You don’t bend them to your will the way a puppet master manipulates strings, you softly mold them like clay, gently and kindly the way your soul works in this world: Gently and Kindly.
I see so much beauty in your work and in you.
I see such unprecedented elegance and I want you to know, you are Starlight.
I can’t think of a metaphor to do your brilliance justice, but Starlight is as close as I can get.
You shine through darkness, your kind words pierce particularly my own dark days and provide delicate brightness to trace the path to smiling again.
You seem like a strong and phenomenal, inspiring person and poet.
I want to thank you for your kindness.
If you were a tiny crystal in a beach of powdery white sand, you would be precious enough to be worth searching through every grain of it to find you.
Rare and priceless.
In my eyes, you are Crystal Starlight. :)
<3
Thank you for being amazing you.

It has made a difference in my life.

Love Ember

Darkness seeps between my fingertips
Even when my hands are clutched to my face as tightly as I can when I am crying alone
Fingernails digging into my skin
To remind myself that it is real
Sleeves pulled over my fingertips
So no one is forced to see the hideous things
Especially me
The way a murderer's mother shuts her son's old bedroom door at night when he has been jailed
To shut out the memories
Concealing what is unpleasant
At night I don't wear makeup
So when I wake up at 2AM to use the washroom
I keep the lights off
And fumble blindly through the black air to find the door handle
So I don't have to look at myself
It's getting worse everyday
A new kind of pain
And I don't understand
Why it hurts so much
But I think I'm going to stop telling people about it
I'm going to stop mentioning it no matter how much it hurts
I'm going to stop being self-deprecating in public
Because it just comes across vain, self-pitying, annoying, attention-seeking and fake
I want people to stop telling me I'm pretty
I want them to stop lying to me
Even if it just to spare my feelings
So I will stop putting them in situations
Where they must lie to me to be polite
I'm just going to be silent now
They already have to know how ugly I am on the outside
No one needs to know
What an ugly mind I have

List of the types of people I want to date at some point in time:
A poet
A writer
An artist
A sculptor
An athletic type
An excessively passionate guy
A player
A musician
A very quiet type
A very science type
Someone who is eerily similar to me
Someone who is my polar opposite
Someone who I constantly fight with and makeup with
Someone who really needs me
Someone I really need
Someone who cooks
Someone who ***** at cooking
Someone who reads a TON
Someone who is extremely rich (not for gifts, just to see what it's like, if they are still a good person even with their wealth)
Someone who I extremely poor
Someone who can break down my walls
Someone who's walls I break down
Someone who hated me before we started going out
Someone I hated before we started going out
Someone with odd ideas
Someone who is really logical
Someone who is blind
Someone who is deaf
Someone who is mute
Someone who doesn't believe in love
Someone who ONLY believes in love
Someone I love who doesn't love me back
Someone who teases me
Someone who I can tease

This way, I will be prepared for any situation when I meet the RIGHT guy. Or IF, I guess...
But if I am inexperienced with all this, then I don't really know how to deal with certain things in a relationship.
I want to just try every type of relationship.
But first I have to actually get a guy who actually wants to date me... yeah, I can't really see that happening... -_-

Anyone want to add to this?

A conversation with my little cousins:

Him: Knock knock!

Me: Who's there?

Him: Doctor!

Me: Doctor Who?

Him: Exactly!
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hahaha That's very funny darling.

His little brother: KNOCK KNOCK!

Me: Who's there?

His little brother: um... um... I forgot, wait no um POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA!

Me: Potato muffin banana ninja who?

His little brother: EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Um... yeah. hahaha...

Him: HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY!

Me: Um, yes. Sure. ha. haha. hahaha...

His little brother: It's funny because I said POTATO MUFFIN BANANA NINJA and then you said WHO and then I said EXACTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: *** I think they are both having seizures...

---------------------

But I love them with all my heart!!!
<3

(My littlest cousin is obsessed with potatoes, muffins, bananas, and  ninjas. I don't know it's weird dont ask)

He always wears longs sleeves
And anyone who tries to be friendly to him
He pushes away
He isolates himself
I've never seen him with friends
I gave him my number
He didn't text me back
I wonder if there is a reason behind it all
Why he likes to live alone, in silence
I'm going on the same trip as him
Late in the year
Should I try to get into his head
Try to talk to him
And unravel him?
Break down his walls?
I'd like to try
I'm not afraid
Of finding his inner demons behind the walls
I have my own
I'm not afraid
But I'm afraid
It isn't my place
Or that he will be angry with me
For trying to melt his steel walls
If I fail
If he doesn’t let me in
Is it worth a try?
Will it seem too stalkerish
If I try to break down his walls?
It never hurts to knock
But it hurts if they open the door
Just long enough to hurt you
Then shut you out again
I don’t know
What do you think?




Please comment and let me know your opinion. I need advice on that.
He is really attractive but beyond that he fascinates me. I liked him the moment I saw him. He plays violin and basketball and I really want to get to know him but I am scared and I am worried he will freak out that I am being creepy and insistent after I gave him my number and he didn’t text me back. (Although it is unconfirmed that he owns a cellphone and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t) I have heard of other girls who tried to talk to him but he was pretty standoffish and they all gave up on him. Should I give up too?

Careful.
I'm a backstabbing *****.
I'll ***** up your life so bad you won't even recognize it.
At least that's what people say.
Them.
From many year ago, the people I knew who never knew me.
Careful.
It might be true
Or it might be as fake as the ******* who told it to you.

Nine little candles
Standing strong
Against the wind
Through the night for so long
Three white candles
Three extinguished toughened fighters
Because one black candle
Had to burn brighter
The one black candle
With all these tricks
Blew out the three white candles
And then there were six
Six little candles
Melting down
But black candle's light is growing dimmer
hope is no where to be found
Black candle's not a candle now
Now she's just a lit fuse
When time runs out until the explosion
Then she will know what it's like to lose
Six little candles
Has lost all but two
The former black candle
And one white candle left too
But even flames can whisper rumors
The burning fuse is done
She lost the other eight white candles
And then there was one.