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 Oct 2015 maxine
Nicole Bataclan
Autumn is a sturdy man
Eager to take your clothes off
What a mess he will leave on the floor

Some dignity hanging on
For as long as possible
But he gets bolder by the day
Complacent to stay.


Autumn is a coy woman
Eager to wear the colors of desire
What a sight she leaves for the beholder

Some courage to resist
As you blow her a kiss
But before she succumbs
She is promised a firework.


Autumn is a seductive game
Here to devour her right away
While withholding for her is foreplay

His approach is raw
She delays her fall
She wanted it to last
But he came too fast.
i wish you could
see me
the way i see you
think of me
the way i think of you

but im just a gay
who pretend to be
a damsel in distress

who will love me?
082915-00
the message was clear and to the point:
it's like watching an excellent magician -
i actually do not want to know HOW you did it.  
But the end result is stunning, and the magic makes it so.


I am magic.
 Oct 2015 maxine
scared
Scared.
 Oct 2015 maxine
scared
Why am I so scared?
When will I be able to be who I really am?
Will I ever be accepted into society?
 Oct 2015 maxine
Dougie Simps
mhm it's 6 am...
I drank too much
opened the door...
who could it be?
I see two...it's my lady
"how could you? can you see?"
"what's wrong with you!?"
Mh, Maybe it's me? or
maybe it's her?
drunk on the floor as I try to reoccur
all of her words...
all of her...
baby I wuv...you..****, my words are slurred
she says "I'm done!"
I said "Just wait!!"
this instability is what you create!
you hurt me and desert me!
why don't we touch!?
I come home...all you say is "Lunch!"
I know I'm wrong...I drink too much.
I'm sorry, if I forgot to say...
"Baby, you look gorgeous today."
Time has changed all my usual ways
I don't think...you'll like what I'm about to say.

I go out and like to sit down
grab a beer and talk to a crowd
of different women, with different missions
some are divorced, the others are still making decisions
I enjoy to hear their stories, see if I can relate
I then ask myself..."How can love turn so quickly into hate?"
I know you feel the same, don't look at me in shame!
I saw you go out the other night with your "girls"
but you were really with whatever his name!
"no I wasn't"
Now wait, I'm not done!
you know that holding on is just no fun.
we've grown apart over the years, baby... let's just go and move on...
do right by ourselves and even more by our son.
Love isn't a game...and if it was we both forgot how to play..
I'll always have a place for you in my heart, no matter what. That's all I'm trying to say.

I..."NO! It's my turn to speak! First off that was my Co-worker! and his name was steve, you met him and his wife! and don't you dare say another thing!
You've been cheating for years and hurting EVERYTHING!
In college you were the best thing that heaven could bring! now all you do is leave me hanging by a string. I wait with the kids as you go and get lit...you kiss the shot glass more than you kiss me. You tell all your jokes to these girls you've never met...After the baby, I don't know the last time we had ***! You come home and just stare, pretend like you're there... the kids barely know who you are and I don't think you could care. You hurt and you rip! It's been seven years...you walk right on past me as I shed all these tears. I pray everyday that you will one day look my way... that you'll stop hurting me so much and change your dark ways. I must be a fool...to think I'd change you by force...well I'm done I'M DONE....***, I WANT...A...divorce (she starts to cry) hmm babe I need to let you go, I need to take our kids and grow...hmm I just need you to know that I always knew...Now please let me be mhmm just promise, PROMISE, PROMISEEE....that you'll let me be free."


I...****. I came home baby, this just got so crazy. I remember all those days calling you my lady...
I thought I was in control and realized I was wrong...this liquid confidence gave me the idea that it would be good if you were gone...
I know I was wrong
can I...
can I...
maybe it's too late to explain...
Divorce seems to be the only way to free us from these miserable chains.
I wanna say I'm sorry...But a cheater never truly changes, nor wins.
I beg for forgiveness and hope god will let me in.
Crazy how love starts so fast and hits so quick...
If you were to ask me then where'd I be seven years later...
I wouldn't ever imagined this.


I'm sorry. I only wish for one last kiss..
I also hope you meet someone who sees, sees all I missed.

(Give me the paper, I'll sign this)

No family pick-nicks, no "good morning baby", no "Good morning" to my kids...just days and days of deep remorse...I guess this what it all means...this is the pain...this is...

He stops writing this letter.

This is Divorce.
That's Real Life...(inspired by you.)
 Oct 2015 maxine
Dougie Simps
I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!

Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!

I'm becoming a monster.

I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN

old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless

I'M A MONSTER!

scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.

I'm...I'm not a monster.

I am a victim

a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.

every friend that's ever judge me

every family member that's looked at me strange

deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood

or... am I a monster? I think not

(I transform)

Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...

The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.


(transforms back)

I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...

Myself and now...

You.

but you were already lost

You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.

I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.

**Because really...
             The monster...
                                  Is you.
Feel so good to be back and writing like the old me again. I hope ya can follow along and get the trickery in this piece. #Monster PLEASE SHARE THIS
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