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 Oct 2020 maxine
eileen
losing trust
 Oct 2020 maxine
eileen
I'm avoiding your calls
still don't feel like talking to you

would like to have a simple conversation
bur you're someone different

I hate our phone calls
let me not answer them ever again
 Jun 2019 maxine
Mathew Kohnen
Today
 Jun 2019 maxine
Mathew Kohnen
Locked in the embrace of our new romance,
We lie on a pile of yesterdays,
Soft as fallen autumn leaves.
All about us are vivid crimsons and golds interlace with dead shades of brown.
We kiss each other’s wounds and share what we have learned.
We hide from the rumor of tomorrow under love’s covers,
Beneath a sensual quilt of joy, beauty and passion.
 Mar 2019 maxine
Mims
It's 1:02am
 Mar 2019 maxine
Mims
And I am holding hands with my depression while it screams into a microphone
It's used to being center stage
The center of attention
Poking, proding
I'll kiss my love on the lips and it'll tug at my shirt whispering
"I'm still here"

It'll grab at me on car rides
Pinch my walking down the street
Make my nose bleed in bookstores
Break my fingers in urban outfitters
"I'm still here"
"I'm still here!"
"I'M STILL HERE!!"
Slowly getting louder as I try to push it down

Sometimes I muffle it
Quiet it
But I can never completely silence it
My hand slips
And a battle cry is released into the night
the duct tape wasn't tight enough
Or maybe my grip

I guess I stopped kicking it eventually
Stopped fighting it
Stop tying it
It was
The thing I kept in my basement but instead of me trying to make it stay and it trying to escape
it fought me to be cemented in my mind
taking all my resources starving me emotionally

Maybe sometimes physically

I accepted that it was a part of me

I let sing to me
Occasionally
After all
We're both in the basement
And we're

bored

It would sing things
Hopeless,
Frantic,
Scary things

They don't like you
There isn't a point in breathing it's mundane, it's uninteresting

You have hurt so many people and been hurt by so many people you're beginning to forget where the line is
And which side you're on


If she knew you now
She'd be disappointed
But she's dead
She died before you tried to let her learn who you grew into


They'll all die

You'll die

We are all just putting off the inevitable
Isolate yourself


You know you're happier alone
You know he doesnt really love you
So stop answering the phone



One night
My depression took out a knife
And slit her thighs
I was asleep but she bled on me all night
And in my dreams

I knew the warmth was from tragedy

Though I never bled with her
I let her keep me red

Keep me angry

"You'll never have a dad!" she yells.

"You'll never go away"
I frown at the shriveled little body of memories and chemical imbalances and tubes and guts and hearts and other dismembered parts
And I think

I've known you for so long
But i've never really looked at you

I am surprised
How different
How separate
We are

You grab me
Poke me
Yell at me
Hold me
Hurt me

But you

Are not

Attached to






                                 Me.
This poem could've gone so many different ways, but this is how it ended up.
 Mar 2019 maxine
eileen
Spring
 Mar 2019 maxine
eileen
dear my blues listen
you're not fine, it's not okay
you'll run out of breath
haiku
 Feb 2019 maxine
Micah
And here we are
the end.

Five years running
and nothing to show

except the slowed
platonic love

and tired
texts

and an absence
of what once was

Except you don't know
do you

know that I'm
leaving us

know that I'm
panicked

into wondering
if I'm behind in
people

experiencing people

I feel I'm at a loss
with you

because we met each other
too soon

and now I'm just pointed bones

and you are the sun

and I'm greedy
for still wanting a piece of you

But I am burnt

The End.
I didn't think I'd write this kind of poem about you.
 Sep 2018 maxine
Coraline Hatter
I'm slowly losing my emotions.

As everyone always told me.

I used to
laugh
cry
and everyone always told me it's too much.
Too much of this and that.

They told me,
they could never imagine me,
to love someone
to be romantic
to be this kind of girl.

They told me,
that I am
a cold-hearted
a emotionless
a stone cold *****.

Always too much or too less,
never enough.
I'm simply never enough,
not enough of this and that.

Do you really wonder why,
I'm sick of showing emotions?
maybe it's all fake.
maybe I'm all of the above,
maybe I'm not.

maybe it's just a role that I am playing.
 Sep 2018 maxine
Grey Pryor
I guess
I just
miss
making
you smile
that way
 Sep 2018 maxine
Grey Pryor
The aftermath you left me with remains
by a consent look over my shoulder.
The whispers on the metro that have your voice,
even though I haven't seen you in 11 years.
The tick in my head tells me how you've been living.
The tick is the click on my laptop mouse to get to your facebook screen.
No call to say I'm a big sister.
No call to say how you have been doing.
I have come to found out you moved,
Is it near me?
Do I have to worry about you trying to see me?
Or are you moving on and avoiding me?
I write about you like you were once my lover but instead you were my abuser.
You were the one to blow smoke in my face and say how much you loved me.
Then hurt me in a way that future people could see the hurt in me.
Do you ever think about the pain you caused me?
Or are you just writing your name on everyone and passing it on.
You are the virus I conceal and don't let people know about until it is too late.
So I know this is sad and **** but I thought maybe someone can relate or enjoy it. I know only I will read it the way I hear it in my head but I still hope you can feel my anger and passion.
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