They think she's cool looking and everything
They like the way she dresses, the color of her hair, her tattoos, and tongue ring
They think she's cute
Well that's just until they get to know her
They might think oh just give her time, she'll let loose
She's just a little shy
No, **** no
They're wrong
She's extremely shy

She can't let go, she has trouble making friends
She can't let go, she has trouble making friends
She'll probably **** it up again
And have to start back from the beginning
She'll **** it up again
Start back from the beginning girl

After a while people start to get tired of her ****
Her shy ways and sarcastic attitude
It's just who she is, she can't change that, even if she could she wouldn't
She just wants someone to accept her for who she is
Not the way she looks
Then she realizes she's just a phase to people
When they first meet her, they think she's cool and ****
But after a while I guess they get tired of her
She'll just see them around
But they are not down
Like how they used to be
And **** it hurts

She can't let go, she has trouble making friends
She can't let go, she has trouble making friends
She'll probably **** it up again
And have to start back from the beginning
She'll **** it up again
Start back from the beginning girl

Last session any future therapy seemed so doomed
So quiet inside the room
Oh....I just wanted to go

Therapy doesn't make sense no more, especially when the doc keeps pushing the meds thing at me
Therapy doesn't make sense no more
Therapy is just a place for me to explore
The many sides of my narcistic, obsessive, borderline, and soft bipolar personality
That becomes entertainingly horrific, amusing, and intriguing all wrapped up into becoming my reality
When I leave outside this office door
Therapy doesn't make sense no more
I'm just so weary of these feelings inside of me
Just wanna be free of all this anxiety

Hi, I am incompetent
I get so easily ******
And I am so awkwardly creative and I like to reminisce
But the doc knows all of this
And she seems to think that talking isn't enough
But she should know that I am not a weak girl, I am tough
And it's no doubt in the past I was very suicidal, it's undeniable
But these words are reliable
I was ****** up so please exempt that behavior
I would never in my right mind demolish my existence, for I am my own savior

But therapy doesn't make sense no more, especially when the doc doesn't see me for me
Therapy doesn't make sense no more
But therapy doesn't make sense no more, especially when my past keeps coming back to haunt me
Therapy doesn't make sense no more

Gosh doc at times I just can't stand you
Because you make me feel all sad and blue
And I just don't know what to do
Maybe I wanna scream, yell, cry
But I
Do none of these
Oh gees
And all I get from you is that ambiguous blank, empty, impatient stare
What doc, is that your way of showing you're listening and that you care

So, sip on this Dr. Cipolla
Because I thought I told ya
I don't need no meds
But it's just this anger and anxiety
That's running through all over inside of me
But please doc don't lie to me
You think that I should be
On meds to bring me down to a normal level of behavior
It seems you think that is my only cure

Therapy doesn't make sense no more, especially when the doc throws those ambiguous blank, empty, impatient stares at me
Therapy doesn't make sense no more
Therapy doesn't make sense no more, especially when I can't keep a job or a relationship because my moods won't stay steady
Therapy doesn't make sense no more
I'm just so weary of these feelings inside of me
Just wanna be free of all this anxiety

Baby you are the sunshine in my blue skies
I want to spoil you as my queen and sing you to sleep with lullabies
Baby just know whether I’m close or far you’re not alone
I’ll be your support, you won’t have to face anything on your own
I can honestly say
I love the feeling of when I’m close to you, I love feeling this way
Your sincere eyes, pink lips, rosy red cheeks, and warm soft skin
Your beauty is perfection on the outside and on the inside your beautiful personality radiates deep from within

Much to our dismay sometimes we fight like the furious but
We don’t have to be a beautiful tragedy like Romeo and Juliet
Sometimes I will fail, I will **** up
But I pledge not to ever give up
We will without all the fighting preserve in love’s name
Because I will work hard for us, our love we will sustain

The stars, the moon, the sun, they are all nothing without you
When you are near you fill me up with such joy, the dark skies go from gray to blue
Your eyes light up the night sky, touching your warm soft skin
It just draws me deeper in
Closer to you
If you only knew
This beautiful feeling you provoke deep with inside of me
When I am with you time stops, my heart triple beats, and all melancholy feelings are at ease and I have no anxiety

I’m always thinking about you, it seems I try hard not to **** things up but I always do something to have you upset with me and I end up sad and empty here
I will not give up on trying to become a better version of myself or loving you because everything that we have is so pure and sincere
You know you’re always on my mind, even when we don’t speak or see each other
You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul, when you’re not near I feel you everywhere and I am happy you are my lover

When I’m with you my head is spinning like a carousel
I just love your cute red rosy cheeks and putting my nose in between your underarms, you know even without deodorant they don’t smell
I just love everything about you, and I love when I’m driving and I turn and look at you and you look at me on the side of your eye
Baby we don’t need to get anymore adrenaline from rollercoasters or Ferris wheels because when I’m with you I’m on a natural high
Every time I hear a beautiful love song I just want to sing it to you
Every time I have a beautiful thought or memory of us, I just want to tell it to you
Baby I hear and listen to everything that you say and I am aware of the things that upset you and I’m working hard to improve
When you’re always on my mind, even when we don’t speak or see each other, I’m certain it’s passion
When I’m with you or not around you this joyous amorous feeling is always lasting
I love sleeping and cuddling with you, I could lay next to you all day
My dreams are affected with thoughts of you and words you say


Baby you are the sunshine in my blue skies
I want to spoil you as my queen and sing you to sleep with lullabies
Baby just know whether I’m close or far you’re not alone
I’ll be your support, you won’t have to face anything on your own
I can honestly say
I love the feeling of when I’m close to you, I love feeling this way
Your sincere eyes, pink lips, rosy red cheeks, and warm soft skin
Your beauty is perfection on the outside and on the inside your beautiful personality radiates deep from within

I'm a manic depressant
Don't mind my mood swings 'cause by next week you're gonna be wondering where my good mood went
Sometimes I talk really fast
It's like the words are coming out of my ***
'Cause the thoughts are racing
And around the room I'm pacing
Heart feeling like it wants to come out of my chest
Haven't gotten any rest
For some days
Because of my bipolar ways
Don't mind me
It's just the bipolar side of me, the bipolar side of me
My mood just can't be
Don't runaway, don't runaway
It's just the bipolar side of me
I didn't mean to scream
But sometimes I just feel mean
If you knew what it was like inside me head
You wouldn't be judging me, but instead
You would be trying to help me
But sometimes I know you don't agree
With the way I act
But for a fact
It's the bipolar side of me
Don't mind me
It's just the bipolar side of me, the bipolar side of me
My mood just can't be
It's just the bipolar side of me

I thought it was the bipolar side of me
But it's the borderline personality in me
That makes me so ****** up
And that's why all my relationships have ******
Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them

You might as well through my number away
You promised you always be there for me
But I just can't stay
Here in this place anymore
Everything just seems like such a bore
And you, you like to call me a drama *****
But I guess I do everything on my time
And that's fine
If you wanna yell at me and tell me that I'm ****** up
But what's ****** up
Is you
You never know what to do
When I'm down and blue
So I curse and yell at you
But I really don't mean to
It's just a test to see if you'll always be there

Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them
I guess it's the beginning overidealizing's with the bitter ends
I'm no good at making friends or keeping them
It must be the I love you's followed with ******* I never wanna see you again

And I'm this distinct person living with borderline personality
Along with social anxiety
Who's not on meds or in any kind of therapy
All though some people think that I should be
And how could this be
That me
A person with such anxieties has a job dealing with people, having to talk, associate, mingle, and pretend to be happy
You know, not let any of that depression show
So no one would dare know
Because depression is a sign of weakness
And quietness is a sign of weirdness
And shyness is cute, well if you're a guy
And makes a person nonexistent if you're a tomboy, girl like I
So I guess I gotta talk to make friends
But where would I begin
Because I have nothing in common with a lot of people I come across
So I'll just be stuck here looking so sad, lonely, and loss
Because I'm no good at making friends or keeping them

I go to sleep at night to only dream about you
I go to work wanting to be close to you
You are eminently but improbably my type but I want you
I can't stop wanting you
It must be that thing you do
With you being you
And with those eyes that pierce and see right through to me
And with your comebacks on everything I say
You being so openly gay
And the cool way you walk
Cute voice when you talk
And you always have such good advice
And everyone loves you including I, you're so ******* nice
And it's just not fair that I can't get you out of my mind
And it's because you're so ******* kind that you have taken a hold of my soul
I just need to let go
Need to let go

My heart is sore
And it's you I can't have
You I adore and I want more
Than just these stupid dreams and fantasies of you
But I feel you do too
Or maybe I'm just a delusionalist
And I need to quit envisioning a us

And it's you I can't have
Yeah it's true
It's you I can't have
Is there something wrong with me
Why don't you want me
Is there something wrong with me
Oh wait
I get it
Not interested
Or maybe I know
You might just be strictly professional
But just like me wanting what I can't have
Yeah it's true
Wanting what I can't have
I think I just need to let this crush go
Yeah just need to let it go
Just need to let go

Every day that I'm here I feel like going home and killing myself
But when I'm home I'm fine again
Every day that I'm here I feel like going home and killing myself
But when I'm home I'm fine again

Every day I awake to the endless feeling of emptiness
And then I go to a place where there are walls without windows
People without souls
And money is everything
It's kind of hard to breathe here between the endless clouds of smoke and the kindness and integrity in which the people lack
In an environment where everyone blends as one
I stand out
It's not because I'm neither a smoker nor an unempathetic ****
But it's a little something called individuality
Individuality so transparent that people try to verbally, emotionally attack me, break me down
It seems to be working
Because when I'm in this place I'm like a zombie, I try to drain my emotions to blend in
But I still stand out even with my undeniable anger, presumable sarcasm, and ****** up hair
And I walk in a straight line when I walk, waiting to bump anyone, so tired of people invading my space walking by
Sick of people after greeting them not saying hi
Is it so ******* hard to have manners
What's a matter
Speak, nod, say something
I'm under the assumption
That I'm the only one in here
That is aware
Of what's going on around here
In this place
These people are of ******* waste
No manners, morals, or integrity
I better depart while I still possess mine
Though it's the manners I lack
But who needs that when you're always under attack

Every day that I'm here I feel like going home and killing myself
But when I'm home I'm fine again

Okay we start off as friends then as the days, weeks, months go by
You tell me that you love me and that I'm your best friend
Now why, why did you do that
You just broke our friendship apart
Number one, never tell me that you love me, and two don't tell me that I'm your best friend
I just don't think I can handle that
I think I have a problem with getting close with someone
Now I think I hate you
But not in a bad way
Just in a way for you to get away, stay away from me
This is the love hate game I play with every friend I make
I think I got problems
But wait, I don't intend on this happening
It just does
I don't want to hate you, I want to love you
But why, why can't I
Sorry that you can't stay
'Cause this is the love hate game I play
Sorry that you can't stay
'Cause this is the love hate game I play

My heart has collapsed into a million pieces
And you've left a hole in my soul
And now you're gone
It feels like I cannot go on
I still have the pieces of you in me
I can't stop thinking about the night our eyes met
You kissed and hugged me, then you left
Left me standing there wet
I really thought we could have made beautiful love together
But you don't care, you don't give a ****
Everything to you is always whatever
Guess what? I still got the pieces of you in me
I don't know why I can't let go of what we had and just let it be
Every time I see you, it still feels like the first time I saw you
But I could tell by the look on your face that it's over, I was just some girl you knew
But every little day by day
The pieces of you in me
It's fading away and away

When she wakes up in the morning and she knows something's not right
The sun is so glistering bright
But she doesn't feel like getting up, her body feels achy and like its been hit by a truck
She doesn't feel like facing the world today
But she gets up anyway

It's time to take your medicine girl
Take your medicine girl
It's time to take your medicine girl
Because you're too sad to face the world

She really doesn't feel like eating but she eats a little something anyway
She thinks to herself this will do it for the day
She doesn't feel like going to work 'cause then she's gotta put her happy face on
So she shows that there's really nothing wrong
But inside her head on repeat it's that sad girl's song

It's time to take your medicine girl
Take your medicine girl
It's time to take your medicine girl
Because you're too sad to face the world

She knew she couldn't hide it any longer
Because it wasn't making her any stronger
That's why she has such a dark past
And in her dreams the memories will always last
Because she tried to hurt herself one day
She just wanted to make all the pain go away
Because inside her the sadness always stayed
It would never fade
So she tried to do something about it
But she just wound up in a hospital bed feeling really sick

Until that very day she never felt so sorry
But she knows if she wants to get better
And enjoy the world and feel more alive than ever
And feel happy again
Then she's gotta take that medicine

It's time to take your medicine girl
Take your medicine girl
It's time to take your medicine girl
Because you're too sad to face the world

A crush is like a cold
You could always feel it coming on
There with you when you’re at your weakest, spreading like a virus, piercing your insides as it gets strong
I don’t know where I went wrong
But I keep singing this same **** song
Because this summer crush is like a cold, I can feel it coming on, nothing I can do to prevent it from getting strong


Just let go, every day of this summer
Let it go, let it go, don’t let anything beat you up inside

I’ll be there with you until the end of summer, ‘til the leaves start falling, ‘til they turn brown, ‘til they all start falling down
I’ll be your puppy, your savior, I’m open, you could see right through me

(How could this be)

We’re at a house party but yet it’s like dead silence when it’s just us two dancing so close
I like to think we got this party shut out
Because this summer is all about us and nothing is coming between you, me, and this beat
Our moves, closeness, and rhythm radiate through the crowd

The people start to move and we become a part of the move and I’m so close to you that I can feel your heartbeat to the sound of the room and in this moment we’re all in this together in here

This is the time to let our worries go and enjoy being alive
This night I want to spend forever with you
And I’ll dance until this sweat start pouring down my chest, until I don’t feel depressed, until I can’t take any more of this
And let the music transform us
And in this moment this life is just so perfect
For a wreck like me
(So many reasons to want to live, I need to let my sadness go)
For a wreck like me
(I’ve made so many humiliating mistakes)
For a wreck like me
(I need to let it all go)

I feel the crowd tighten up around us and the music becomes louder
I close my eyes and feel my heart beat faster and to my surprise you’re still by my side
(I need to let it all go)
The beat goes over and over again
(Letting it all go and dancing around in this room)

Now I’m letting this music take control of us
These lights go out got me grabbing you so close to me
Dancing around in the dark
Dancing around in the dark got me so close, depending on you
Never thought it would go down like this

For the first time in my life I finally see the light
I’ll be the one to make these people all see the right way to the light
I’ll be the person of greatness
To the light
I’ll be the one to make these people all see the right way to the light

Whatever poise you get out of college
I hope you come back stoic, joyful, and non-stiff
Well there's a genius in you, I know it
Tell that genius before she leaves she owes me one last freakin' kiss
Don't update your Facebook status to you miss me to let you know I still exist
I hope all the girls you plan on making out with gives you ****** on your lips
It' s about that time for you to leave and depart with your ride
I hope it rains there on your long drive
Just know that I'll be thinking about you every second of the day and every minute on the hour
Oh, what you would do to me if you knew you had this much power

Tell all the femme girls you meet
About the tomboy/girl back in your state
The tomboy/girl you used to date
The tomboy/girl who can't stand you 'til this day

There she goes off to college, she's leaving me
She's gonna forget about me
No vice versa, I think it's the other way around
You're gone, goodbye, go away
I knew you weren't here to stay
Well not with me anyway
But just remember me when you see
Those femme girls you oh so get along well with
Because I knew from the start
That this would all fall apart
Look at me, look at you
Look at them look at you
You would get along so well
Do me this, when you go away to Delaware
Away from here
This non-gay New Jersey state
Tell them all about the tomboy/girl you used to date

Tell all the femme girls you meet
About the tomboy/girl back in your state
The tomboy/girl you use to date
The tomboy/girl who can't stand you 'til this day

I know it wasn't my I don't know, I don't care, I guess, maybe, probably, eventually, ya think, you should know, whatever, shut up, *******, geek, loser, oh you're so smart
That broke us apart
So, when you go away from here
To Delaware
Away from this non-gay New Jersey state
Just tell all those straight femme like girls about the tomboy/girl you used to date

Tell all the femme girls you meet
About the tomboy/girl back in your state
The tomboy/girl you used to date
The tomboy/girl who can't stand you 'til this day

She says
Sometimes your loving is too much
Just too much
Sometimes your touching is too much
Just too much

She says at night love me and touch me in that special way but when it comes to the morning
She wants me gone by then
When her man is not by her side
She’s feeling me and taking me on a wild ride
She doesn’t ever want to see the best of me, the nice in me, I have to pull back my passion and affection, all these emotions I have to let it be
All these feelings I must hide
She’s never wanting to know the real me, the emotional me, she’s never wanting to see me on the inside

She says
Sometimes your passion is too much
Just too much
Sometimes your affection is too much
Just too much

She feels that my emotions are too much
Sometimes I feel chicks don’t like when I’m sweet, they prefer me mean and rough
I can be nice, I can be sweet, I can be tough
But I think enough is enough
Over time I’ve learned not to become too attached
When she’s pulling away, it’s better to not overreact
If she really wanted to stay, if it was meant to be
She would accept the cuddly, passionate, affectionate me
She tells me she’s not gay or bi but that she’s straight even though she ***** me and been with other chicks
I guess I’m just a little confused, lost,  I’m not really understanding this
But I understand no woman can replace her man or his ****
But just admit you’re queer for chicks but whatever I’m over it
It’s just better to stay detached
If she’s the one for me, we’ll be intact

She says
Sometimes you’re just too much
Just too much
Your loving is too much
Just too much

Tú y yo siempre
I whispered in her ear
The smell on her breath, mocha flavored latte
And I wish I could be there in the morning when she wakes those beautiful eyes
And she would beg me to stay just stay a little while longer by her side

And I love the sound of her voice
When she sings it makes me smile
Just stay and talk to me for a little while
It really would make my day
But she doesn't see me in that way
No hay tú y yo siempre

She looks at me funny when I speak my Spanglish
But it just sounds more romantic when I say you and I always rather than in English
Even though she knows I’m a gringa
She manages to comprender, kinda

Que acerca de tú y yo siempre
I guess that was just all in my head
Your flirting kept my spirits alive
But now they're dead
And you were never interested
I like to call you a liar
Tú eres mentirosa
But in fact you're not
You're just a tease
Tú eres provocar
Y tu personalidad es bonita
I desire tú y yo siempre but that is loca
And I would love to sample your mocha
Y soy no loca
Pero quizá para tú
It's just something about you
Now my heart can't let go
Todos porque usted demostró feelings primero

And I love the sound of her voice
When she sings it makes me smile
Just stay and talk to me for a little while
It really would make my day
But she doesn't see me in that way
No hay tú y yo siempre
No hay tú y yo siempre

Tú y yo siempre
Your flirting is what kept that thought alive

Hey I’m the girl who always has a problem
Problem child you could call me
My problems
I don’t know how to solve them
But I must clear my conscience and refrain from repressing my thoughts along with feelings
And maybe this killing
Pain in my chest
Will come to rest

I’m the girl you know with the upside-down smile
Whose big sad brown eyes begs you to stay by her for a little while
The cup half empty chick
Who’s always so quick to flip
The girl with all the problems
The kind that are all in her head
And at times wishes she was dead
The girl who at times seem to glow
The girl who could pull people in with her expressive ways and words that flow
The girl who subconsciously do things
To bring
People to see
Things from her perspective
I’m the girl with the problems
And is looking to you to help me resolve them
The girl who smiles in your presence
And frowns in the of others
The girl who doesn’t handle adversity very well
The girl who is sad and anxious when you’re not around
Hey I’m the girl you know with the upside-down smile

Three words uttered
Soft yet bellow
I relinquish into your radiant smile and eye shine
You shout out so I follow you now
My love can’t suffice when I’m so cold and down

For the torture you put me through
What my heart had to go through just being around you
You get an eternity of my everlasting tortured soul

I remember back when I first met you and around the time I was really getting to know you
I thought then, these feelings are just gonna get stronger
Well and they did
And I warned you that you shouldn’t tease a leech like me unless you want me always hanging on
I’ve been waiting here what seems like forever, holding on for a “bi” potential breakthrough
But you held your ground, until this very day straight is what you still proclaim is true
But when I’m gone will you hold on and remember me through all the gifts, poems, and dedicated love songs
The anxiety you intensified,  I claim temporary insanity
Now I’m capable of doing anything
So now I’m coming back undead
Avenging my wounded soul
Taking back the disenchanted life I lead
Taking back the heart you stole

Are connection got a little deeper and I became opened but still we never got that far
Leaving me with apprehensive yet lecherous thoughts all through the nights
But this time around I won’t let the temporary insanity thing **** me now
I gotta find a way to desensitize somehow
Because I’m still feeling like how I felt when I was alive
And I know you and I would never be
So just my lonely, wounded, undead soul remains

And you said the most beautiful thing to me and it eased my pain, semi-healed my wounds
Sometimes it’s just the things you say to me, it was like you saw me, saw through to me
And I’m a sucker for you
And it’s okay that you’re mean to me
And it’s okay that you take advantage of my generosity
And it’s okay that you ignore me some days just as long as you see me when you’re finished going through whatever it was you were going through
And how this passion and love is my everlasting suicide
Because I needed to coincide with my desire to end my emotional pain that seemed to never end
And it wasn’t like some stunt for attention
Just an expression of extreme distress that needed to be addressed
But now coinciding and annihilating an undead soul might be so hard to do
Or maybe not because it’s no fun having these feelings for you
The anger and jealousy
It’s running through all over inside of me
Because I’m just so ******* empty
Sometimes in things I could just lose myself
Even lose myself deep within you
Especially when were connected, you're focused, aware, and for me so there
But just like that, you’re gone
And I have to move on
But not without the intensified anxiety and temporary insanity

I will avenge my soul with every ******* breath and word, a painful story will be told
I’m coming back undead
Avenging my wounded soul
Taking back the disenchanted life I lead
Taking back the heart you stole
This ditch you put me in
I don’t think was deep enough
Well I’m coming out right now
You’re running out of love for me
When I go I just hope you will remember me
Because living was the hardest part
But in the end our deep connection and everything else just falls apart
Oh, I just wanted to be with you
The ******* torture I put myself through
But when I go I just hope you will remember me
Because living was so hard to do
But even when I’m not here my soul would be there to be your savior
Because within our shortcoming my pilfered heart was indebted to you and so pure
When I go will you forget to remember me
I lost my fear of negligence which had caused me great sadness, loneliness, and tenseness
Because it’s so rare unconditional acceptance
And when more distressed I’m empty and depersonalized
Now suddenly realized, I just need to desensitize
Because no one ever sees the soul inside, always worried about the ******* outside
People could be so ******* materialized
But for our shortcoming, you saw through
So for that just know that no matter what, my soul will be with you
Will be with you

I was fourteen when I finally found out the truth
About me
That my sexuality
Set me apart
From my peers
Because they didn't identify or mingle with queers
I knew you then but we didn't really talk much
It wasn't 'till we were seventeen when we began hanging out

We had fun chilling, passing time, and getting high
We had both always made sure we were alright
And that was the dramatic year I came out

Where did you go
Did my coming out make you wanna leave
Something I did not know
You were just as queer as me
And nobody would believe

Fighting, drinking, smoking, passing out
But yeah, we were alright
Everybody knew our group like to party
Yeah we got wasted every other night

Everybody loved you, you were the cool one
You always knew how to make everything so dangerous and fun

Where did you go
Nobody doesn't know
Something I just didn't know
You were just as queer as me
Nobody believed
You had to leave
You had to leave

I think that I always kind of knew
But I never wanted to say it
But now that you're gone
I believe it

Did my coming out
Make you uncomfortable and give you doubts

Now I know and I could have never believed
But you were just as queer as me
Nobody couldn't believe

Well I'm still surviving
I'm still having some fun going out and getting ****** up
I'm just letting you know if you come back we could still do that
Yeah that'll be what's up

Where did you go
Did my coming out make you wanna leave
Something I just didn't know
You were just as queer as me
Just as queer as me
Just as queer as me
Nobody couldn't believe
You had to leave
You had to leave