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i believed
in breathing
until i realized
every breath
i take
brings me
closer
to death
This is to the camera, that sees me as nothing but
Delicate bones and pearly whites
My essence captured through awkward captions and
My worth measured by likes and heart bytes
A photograph carefully composed
Of a girl with her true thoughts [boxed up tight]

This is to the boys who see me as nothing but
Geometric shapes
Circles and curves and parabolas
**** and *** and legs and waist
And an irrelevant concave where my brain should be
My “radical ideas” make me a butterface

This is to the academy, that sees me as nothing but
3.97 and a good SAT score
A scholar of great potential
That will donate millions or more
As an honored alumni
Of the greatest institution in the world

This is to society, that sees me as nothing but
A golden gal who always colored inside the lines
Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes, no fire in my soles

“She’s never insubordinate, ‘cause she’s never been inclined”
Determined but docile
Go ahead and assume I’m not the rebellious kind

This is to myself, because I see that
My mind is a kaleidoscope of technicolor dreams
Ideas colliding like specks in sunbeams  
And I’ll call myself a feminist or riot grrl if I **** well please
You are not my dictator or an office label machine
It’s 2015; I’ll be whatever the hell I want to be.
i am the poison
and i am
the smell of death
i kissed you
and you withered
like roses adorning
a tombstone
maybe
i am just
searching
for home
on the wrong
planet.
it is the
end
of an era
that i
believed
would
last
much longer
and i could
blame
it on
a million
things
but none
as much
as myself
you only know
how to fight
when no one
else
is around
to make me
lose
the pressure
from my heart
spreads through
my veins
and i sink
myself
by holding on
to this feeling
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