You took something from me,
something you were not allowed to take.
You walk around like it was nothing,
when it was everything.
Your carefree persona provokes me,
you gave me nothing not to care about.

All you gave me was fear, anxiety, worries and doubts.
All you did was make me lose my trust.
All you were was just a demon,
a demon disguising yourself as an angel,
to get what you needed.

you didn't care the outlook,
you didn't feel my pain,
you just felt your urge,
your urge to release your *****.

You lied to me in my most vulnerable state,
to get what you wanted and not what I wanted,
when I suddenly said no,
you took it anyway,
because demons don't listen,
demons don't care,
for demons ''no'' doesn't count,
demons call the shots.

I hope you're happy,
because I am not.

The demons inside my head;
they feast fatly,
on fine wines
and my misery and despondency,
on glazed ham and roasted turkey,
on whiskey and my will to live.
They refill round bloated bellies,
Mouths full of delicious delicacies,
Just living keeps them swelling.

They feast for how long I have lived,
Devouring my passions, my loves within.
My sadness, like fine spiced soup,
Dribbles down their chin.
They are guilty,
guilty of Gluttony Sin.

They will always feast on me
and on my insides,
On my truths and on my lies.
My flesh, even, they take in strips,
My blood and happiness in the cups they sip,
My everything is on their lips.

Even when I am dead,
They will still be in my head,
Dining on the delectable dessert
Of the deceased.
Pop goes the buttons on their coats;
Fabric ripping like torn flesh,
Sweetened and thickened
Creamed like custard
Gently; slowly, flowing
Down their meaty throats.

We've been sad so long
that happiness scares us
We love to hate
We seek comfort in misery
We scream that the universe
does not want us happy
But we are glad
to be sad
Because joy is always so temporary
At least we can always count on misery
to be there
in the deepest corners
of our hearts.
-@IrisMaddenPoetry

There was hidden poet in there
filled with misery
concealed safely
behind the smile
tucked in tight
that looses itself at night
beautifying the misery of life
in rhymes and sonnets
calligraphed in blue and black
immortalizing the sorrow
on the sheets that shout in silence
through the words
that couldn’t help him
while
he was alive

People should be a little bit brighter
A little bit happier, don't be a miser.

Why is everyone so quick to anger,
So scared of danger and sick on paper.
Get a life, learn to smile you fakers.
Nothing in this world is gonna make it safer.

Misery loves company trust me it's ugly.
They came to be lovely til their feelings need cuddling.
Coddling is more like it, insulating even.
They don't realize they're insinuating treason.

Inciting some violence by some violet snowflakes.
Protesting the silence with science and show dates.

Our heroes reborn, a new purpose and will.
All zeroes now scorned by the true service of skill.

You hear about the sleepless nights
The crying, the suicidal thoughts.
The cloudy days when it's sunny
And the thunderstorms in the cool breeze

You hear about the support groups
The suicide hotlines, the public outcry.
#westandwith__, #alwayskeepfighing,
The sad poems and the sad playlists.

But you never hear about the reality

The way depression looms over your head,
Not as a cloud, but as a faceless mass
Of pure darkness, that paints a smile on your face
So people don't notice you're hurting

It's the feeling of complete and utter nothingness,
When you sit in class and stare at the teacher
But don't hear a thing he's saying because you're too sad, too upset to move or think.

It's the paranoia that you feel
When your friends leave you for a split second
That feels like minutes, then feels like hours.
It's the loneliness that sets in
While numbers and friends are within arm's reach.

It's the messy room, the scraps of chocolate wrappers on the floor.
The piles of laundry you haven't touched in weeks.
The homework you've been putting off because you were too ******* sad to do it
The pain on your lover's face when he realised he can't do anything
And the pain on yours when you hate seeing him in pain
And the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

...

It's the constant apologising.

The constant self-hatred.

The self-medication with good things and movies but nothing seems to work.





I just want to be okay.

Is this it?
Is this goodbye?
A farewell to all those good times
The best times
The times when it was just you and I against the world?
Is this us over?
Have I lost my soulmate
My heart
My desire?

You're here and yet I feel you're already gone
Your mind if not your body with someone else
All that love, hope, desire
His.