I don't know anymore
What to think of you
nor with your "I love you"
Cause at one point,
it could heal all my deepest wounds
But could bear the biggest scar

Your words feel like soft marshmallows
Yet the after taste sting like a billion arrows

The way you touch my fragile skin
makes it glow and look flawless
But as it glows
it grows weaker
Then burns into ashes

The way you build me up
then break me down

Tears my soul and I crash onto the ground

You found me awake but asleep on the bathroom floor.
Strung out.
Blood filling the tub with bright red.
The sinks over flowing causing an ocean to form
From head to toe.
I was breathing just fine sunken under
Because my brain has already deteriorated to nothing.
And my bones are like chalk.
Write a sentence about
why the willow tree looked so sad.
You said that it's hard to keep your head up in a constant down pour, which I didn't understand until now.
And Sometimes I wonder if your touch is merely my Imagination pulling a facade on me.
But when I look down there's a hand print that screams your name in my face.
Screams words of false hope that I know already.
I'll fold myself into a square.
Place this figure in a box unknown and burry it 6 feet under.
A place to hide away from the rain.

I gave you everything.
I showed you things I'd never shown
to anyone before.
I believed in you.
I kissed you.
I slept with you.

I was in love with you.
I felt used.
I felt *****.
After that day,
I couldn't see myself in the mirror.
I was disgusted with myself.
In the end I realized that I
was in love with the idea of you.
But why?
I have no idea.

No, I said.
Yes, you said.
I hate you, I said.
I like you, you said.
Leave me alone, I said.
I can't, you said.
I don't like you, I said.
But I still won't leave you alone,
you said.

Please, I said.
I won't let you go,
you said.
I don't want to see you again,
I said.
I don't care, you said.
Please, I said.
No, you said.

Why can't you just leave,
I said.
Because, stupid, I love you,
you said.

basic thoughts lead to basic things
eventually it turns into a circle

and our minds get trapped inside

I own everything
do you know what that means?
I am like a king
because I own everything

many wants lead to many needs
eventually, leaving you starving

it's like a mental malnutrition

I have everything
but I don't know what life means
to my things I cling
I have everything

My heart is a storm,
with clouds raging deep within.
Rain pouring, waves crashing, lightning ablaze;
drowning every wisp of peace that can be seen.
The pain was so deep, so agonizing, so intense,
my heart was mangled beyond recognition.
No longer was I in control of this madness.
I am helpless.
Hopeless.
Despair is the only feeling keeping me company.
My mind was numb by the pain that seared through it,
unable to make sense of my surroundings.
Tears fell only to be blown away by the winds.
I am lost in this sea of pain.

But along with the gushing wind that tore through this heart of mine,
My North Star came.
When the storms screamed dismay, you roared hope.
Tearing through the night, riding the storm,
light pierced through the clouds,
and through the clouds I saw stars shining brightly in the night sky.
You we're there staring down the fight.
The seas calmed and the winds ceased upon your arrival.
You replaced the night with a peace long forgotten.
My Star shone brightest, burning away my fears
and in Your light You gave me grace.


"Be still my son and be afraid no more"  he whispered.