Ugly- The definition of a girl, is given by the guys who broke her heart and the girls she used to look up to.

Useless- The feeling of never being good enough because you cant even make your parents happy. Not worth anyones time.

Stupid- Not getting perfect grades at a honor school and being made fun of by those who you thought loved you.

Depressed- The feeling you get when no one understands that your crying on your knees everynight asking god to help you to make you feel like you are worth something then being kicked while your crying by your best friend. Giving up on everyone and everything.

Scared- That gut feeling you always have because everyone you love always leaves so what makes Dylan any different? When I am the same girl I was when everyone else left?

Unwanted- The feeling an adopted kid like myself, when not even her brother wants to be a part of her life. When your parents didn't want you only 2 weeks after birth..?

So someone, ANYONE, tell me why I should continue on with my life acting like everything is perfect and okay when honestly IT IS NOT OKAY!!! NOTHING IS OKAY! I am sorry that I was never perfect and never good.. I tried.. I really did and maybe one day y’all might, just might realize that I was breaking, slowly breaking, painfully trying to make everyone happy when I was the one suffering most.. I just wish I would've noticed this when I was younger and didn't waste so much of my life trying to figure out where I went wrong when that was never the issue. The issue was that I couldn't accept that I couldn't be perfect, I never would be, and that I cant change something I have no control over.. Maybe if I realized that earlier my life would've been just a bit happier, maybe not.. But my mom once told me that everything happens for a reason and she was right…

We live we dream we smile but are we really free?
i honestly can say that freedom isnt in my heart becausse my heart was stolen by a perfect blue eyed smiling boy who said he loved me then left me there to think bout what i did to deserve the world taken from me he said hes sorry but my heart is still not with me?
so is freedom real? no everybody is ruled by someone or some thought that their mind body and soul desired to think too be there king or queen, can someone explain
to me why we are "free"

can we hide from these dark secrets all our life?
can you change into a beautiful butterfly over night?
can you stay with me until the sunshines?
can you say youll be mine for the rest of our lives?
can we have a family and stay together till we die?
can you switch places with me and let me drive that car?
can I bring you back?
can I help your family?
can you forgive me?
im sorry I think not

when we were children we ran across the street to that boardwalk we raced down that beach and hit the water you would say lets never grow up and I said lets never change because I love who we are at this very moment... years went by you were 14 and I was a teen you told me I was beautiful and that maybe change was a good thing I didn't know what to say then you said race ya we hit the water in my beautiful graduation dress you picked me up and spun me around I ran into the water and you said I love you I said I love you well years went be he moved and they talked every night until one night when she picked up the phone and they said im sorry hes gone its not your fault well the thing is he had cancer and say he loves you forever and always well that night she cried and cried and cried until finally she saw answers she would die and be with him forever and always like they said growing up and they indeed were together forever...

People fall in love in mysterious ways, could you tell me this one thing before you leave to walk along another beach on another island far far away? do you love me? do our hearts collide and make a happy day? what is love? what is us without the memories and fun? what am I without you? what is love without truth? do you love me? because I love you, love, they say love is a very strong word and feeling but in my eyes this for letter word does no justice to how I feel about us, should I let you go to pursue your dreams or beg you stay and make me happy? can I tell you this one thing? My heart is shattering, breaking everytime I think about you leaving me, I cant loose you, maybe love is strong enough to keep us together but I need to hold you, I miss you, I love you and I need you but you don't see that because I cant tell you... bye

Henry, You lost the love I love the most....
                          You ginger hair is the suns warm rays shining upon a blue eyed angel who doesn't see the love coming from the one who needs that angel to save her but she realizes he needs to be saved, she is his angel who is there to shine light upon a broken wing who needs to fly up above those blue skys so hey can together become one In harmony, not to be broken not to be frayed not to be left in the rain but to bring back the Tenerife sea in his eyes, to make her glow like a bright sunrise in a cloudy sky, she needs him as much as he needs an angel to make him shine, nobody understands why their love is so strong and deep and why a beautiful angel is with a broken wing but nobody knows that he is her everything, hes not only a majestic thing he is her sunlight on a rainy evening, he sees the angels scars but doesn't think they make her unlovable, shes difficult, but angels need to love too, no love story can save this angels broken wings but this broken thing will try to make her see that if she believes she can be saved, he doesn't see the love that she is trying give but Is not receiving, she doesn't understand why she is pretty but she understands that she is unlovable, she is making a permanent scar on her arm unlike the one that she can only see, he doesn't understand why she doesn't see what he sees but cant tell her these amazing feelings.... they both say why as their love is starting to die, the cry, they fight, they love, they sceam, they hurt, and they bleed, if only that broken wing came to save the beautiful angel dieing, bleeding, screaming, and crying why as she died... He finaly started to wonder if she is going to be alrigt so he decided to go in the middle of the night to fix things to tell her these amazing feelings and when he  got there he fell to his knees, crying in front of this broken beautiful amazing angel that saved him but couldn't be saved, he held her and cryed out ”please don't leave me, I need you, I love you, im so so so sorry I never told yu that your beautifula nd perfect for me, PLEASE PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME!!” he never understood why god let this beautiful angel die for him? but one day as he was going through her journal he cried as he read the last sentence that she wrote and it was about him, it said “If my angel were to ever read this, I didn't leave because of you, I left because I am not fit to be a mother,” he stopped and thought “A MOTHER?” and continued to read the letter “I know what your thinking what is she talking about? but im carrying our daughter, I didn't know what to do who to tell, I couldn't let me ruin you future, your so smart, live your life and continue to succeed, I know that you will be anything that you want to be and I know you will find someone thatloves you more than we ever could, im sorry for all the pain I have cause, we love you -your broken wing” he cried and cried and cried and screamed “WHY GOD WHY?” he never understood why until 6 years passed, he was a journalist with 4 best author awards, he always new that he had an angel watching over him, the day that his first daughter was born was the day he realized that, that angel couldn't be saved but needed to save him, he wasn't a broken wing any more, he was an amazing thing who had these 4 beautiful daughters and a loving wife who would never hurt him, he understood that his angel was set free!