Perhaps I loved you too quickly,
Too fiercely.
Perhaps you wasn't ready,
Not really.
Perhaps I expected your walls to fall easily,
Flawlessly.
Perhaps I ain't who you had hoped I would be,
Uncertainty.
Perhaps I was too good to be true.
Perhaps you were too.
Perhaps this was supposed to play out differently,
Not be quite so messy.
Perhaps even though I did all the right things,
You still didn't trust me.
Perhaps I thought our love would overcome all the negativity,
That our relationship would flourish effortlessly.
Perhaps it is you.
Perhaps it is me.
Perhaps we are a little too broken,
Permanently.
Perhaps it just seems we are worlds apart as of lately.
Perhaps we cannot fix what isn't there,
Blatantly.
Perhaps I just need you to act like you care,
Even if it isn't real,
Just so I don't have to feel,
This way,
Lonely.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

test me
my waters have remained constant
rippling, reaching
as far as the eye can see
into the horizon; the water surrounds me
my knowledge is useless
when drowning in these waters;
i can only flail desperately
as my movements create ripples
out into the open sea
all these efforts
all in vain
all in my vein
blood rushing out
like the sea, light then heavy
then strong
like the sea, with a strong smell of salt
this time, the waters are red
and they reek of iron

test my waters
they’ve been stained crimson
with my lifeline

in a pinch with the evil ones
I've never fled so fleetingly
give me one small reason to stay
and I promise I'll make it all up to you someday
this traction and force, stomping softly on my heart
day after day, wind after wind, when
everything purple and pink turns gray
fall into the pattern,
awaken your aggression,
mix pleasure with passion,
not so much flattered.

going home isn’t always
returning to a place.
sometimes
it is returning to yourself.

Like an angel with broken and battered wings,
You said you were the answer to my prayers.
All I had to do was remain on my knees,
And you would watch over me.
But like the seasons change from summer to autumn your heavenly glow dimmed and wilted,
Your scripture dried up like dead leaves,
Your harp played a blasphemous tune,
And I watched the devil bloom in you.
Your eyes are like oil in the ocean, your voice now dark and deep.
Yet still I prayed and still I stayed eventhough this isn't the eden you promised me, like a child full of hope, I believed.
That you were the closest thing to heaven ill ever be.
Isnt it just like the devil to be everything you desire all the while setting you up for the fire?