He took a massive leap
And couldn't believe
That he died to fall damage.

I just wanted to love someone
so much -
That I never learned to like anyone

She was dangerously close
like a molotov
to a dream.
The crease in her smile
From when she carried it closed
Or maybe from when
The one that last carried it for her.

There's a thorn in her paw;
That is a crucifix in her theart
and keeps her nailed to the pain.
It's a cross
between the love she has
for everyone
but herself,
and the hatred for me.
And I like it.
All of it.

Still though, I dream that she's in my bed
looking sweete than her taste for revenge,
it's 5 PM and she isn't wearing much
but she's in my bed, saying the things
that I need to hear,
which is just about anything at this point.

It's 8:30 pm, and I get my wake up call
and out the door I go, in my headphones go
the first thing I hear is Ed Sheeran
I hate that I enjoy his voice
because he's always ******* right
and he tells me "baby you look happier, you do"
well ****.
"my friends told me, one day I'll feel it too"
and now I need a shot because ****.
I really was happier with her.

7:15 in the morning
Don Quixote sits against my wall
I can't really hear his voice
but he says that it ain't right
to fight a windmill and lose.

and then he tells me
it ain't right for me and her
to be all we've ever been.

All I make is mistakes
I see them too, but it's always too late.
It's all I know how to do.
I know there's something wrong,
hence why I'm drunk when I write.
Sometimes I couldn't blink
or take a breath during those conversations.

There's so much I'm uncertain about
...so many questions
I'll never ask, again
I used to ask a lot, for someone.
not anymore.
not since i couldn't explain
what I couldn't explore.
but that thorn is still in her paw.
I wish I could've removed it.

Alex
Sat in her moms car
The pillow at the head of my bed
Had a note
"Be back in twenty"

So I waited
And we talked -

I didn't know,
My girlfriend hated me so much.

"The glass is always half full" .. were my words..
... and for seven months she smiled
Wishing in her mind, that I'd end it all
.. not the relationship, that is.
"Just ******* **** yourself" ...
And the glass smashed, right after that.

Alex was never half again.

The rough skin, didn't hide her beauty
The recently dyed, golden blonde hair
Eyes that captured the waves of the beach
Crystal clear, like the best of a summer day.

Alex was shy.

She even looked beautiful - truly
With a noose around her neck.

Hanging

Ballerina forever in thin air
Frozen in my mind's time
Thawing me
With her free twirl...

She was unbelievable.

My bedside table near
****,
Beer,
And the sour patch kids she left for me.

Blur

and dust.

Dancing around

her.

What a ******* dream
it's almost a shame that they
Never come true.

Why can’t you text her 37 times?
In the last hour
Hell, add a couple of calls in between
Knowing that your numbers been blocked
And she’ll never see a single thing
You’re saying. They’re wasted words.
Feel good yet, loser?
****.

Why can’t you check if she’s online?
On that stupid dating website,
Every few minutes.
Trying to figure out the exact moment,
She used it less, and put the pieces together
That she’s met someone else.
****.

Why can’t you find that guy?
That she wouldn’t stop talking about,
Throughout your whole relationship,
And bash his ******* skull in,
With the sharpest edge of the rock
That you seen, while skipping them,
At that park…
You know the one with pond?
When you got ice cream and told her,
This was the happiest you’ve been in years.
You were just reminded of that day
Weren’t you?
****.

Why can’t you let go?
Accept that it’s over, like she told you to,
Months ago while she hung around,
Just to keep you happy.
Even though,
She was always one step ahead…
Sadly, that foot was out the door.
****!

Why can’t you move on?
You’re probably crying again as you read this.
It’s only the fifth breakdown today,
You’re adjusting to the feeling now right?
Maybe the next girl you blow it with will be the one!
There’s a cheerful thought.
But you’ll be too busy thinking about the last,
And you’ll **** it up,
Just like you’ve done, with everyone else since
That day she packed up and moved out.
Because nobody but her, can make you feel,
How she felt, along with those stupid 2pm calls,
When she was on break at work
So what if they woke you up?
That Is what kept you going, because
Her voice  was music to your ears
When the rest of the world was nothing but noise.
****!

After the realization hits that she was the one,
And you’ll never do better.
That You’re just a mentally ill, ex to her..
The one that she tells to every guy she meets,
How you would call 37 times in a row,
16 missed calls in the morning,
And a dozen emails you wrote during
Those key moments,
When everything was falling apart.
And because she wouldn’t reply once.
...You put the *** in harrassment...

You probably think you’re better off dead
Well, you’re right.
…. ****.

All the nights of unpleasantries
will no longer keep me awake.
I will never again dream
of you by mistake.

I wish that you would die.
A freak accident leaves you paralyzed
maybe a piano from the window
That lives in the blue of my eyes.
Or maybe that "random" passing car
will clip you in the thigh
And you'd be left (like me)
alone; just to die.

You could paint the town red
with your angry tongue
but instead maybe if i cut it out
you'll finally listen instead.

In laymens terms, prepare to be hurt,
I'll smile as your body lies in the dirt.
And blood seeps into your shirt,
coloring the earth.
Your purpose has been confirmed.

*******.

I just heard a poem today

About a man who was heart broken
And how he only thought about
The next guy kissing his ex;
Or how he wouldn’t lock the door
In case she came back.

And the people cheered..
He was amazing actually
So much emotion in his voice

And the people cheered..
There’s a fellow who entertains!
I could never do that;
So I envy him.

But;
I hope that person never has to suffer
Through sleepless nights
Hoping she finally calls,
Or seeing that new Facebook picture
Of her with another man,
Cuddled in the same bed I was in a
JUST a week prior
Kissing those lips, that tasted so sweet
When we last said goodbye,
Less than seven **** days ago!

I hope that person never has to heal
And spend his next 3 years, rejected
Rejected and rejected
By every single girl he finally falls for.

I hope that person doesn’t spend his days
Hoping that even once a week he can play
His favorite 2-player video game
With a woman who only wants to
Order some pizza afterwards; while
Cuddling up to a horror movie and a kiss,
Goodnight.

It’s easy to find a drinking partner
Or somebody who will take their clothes off
at midnight and be dressed fast enough
To catch the last train.

But wanting to hear about the person’s day
Or what their favorite novel is;
Their desires,
Their fears
Or why she has those scars
On that beautiful body.

Or why she doesn’t think she’s pretty
When to you she’s the prettiest girl
That you’ve ever cuddled up in bed with
While you watched her play Zelda.

Finding that is tough.

I hope that person is never me
Ruining every conversation going his way.
Trying so hard to keep her smiling,
While forgetting that he’s an *******
Who doesn’t know when to stop talking.

That he doesn’t make enough money
To take her out for a romantic dinner
Or that he can’t drive when she’s stuck
In the middle of nowhere; in minus 20 weather

I hope that person realizes
Writing at 4:30 AM, on a work night
Because another man’s poetry
Made someone else think of a girl
That he doesn’t deserve
And can’t have
Is exactly how some writers live.

And we just wish we were entertaining.

Write about me
Tell me how your night isn’t complete
Without a goodnight phone call
Alongside a “sweet dreams” text;
And how it’s the only thing better
Than the good morning ones..

Write about me
Tell me how you hate that I stopped trying.
This other guy was never competition
You just wanted to see if I’d fight for you;
Please, make me feel like a fool
When you tell me how I failed your test
And only a dozen fresh Orchids
With a card quoting your favorite song
Would be enough to prove how serious
I am about you.

“There’s so much beauty in a storm”

Write about me
After that is said and done, watch as
I’ll dedicate hours trying to tell you
That it’s not because I don’t care
Or that none of what I said was real
It was just that;
Only that your happiness meant more
To me than mine ever could,
And I’d rather see you happy
With anyone else, than me failing
To put that beautiful smile
On the most deserving of faces..

Write about me
Tell me that it hurts when you hear me say
That I fear I’m not good enough
For a woman like yourself
In reality though - I mean you.
Your potential is limitless;
While I’m a work in progress
And you, princess. Don’t have the time
Or maybe even the will power
To build a man up to your level
When you deserve a golden crown
And a million peasants, kneeling
Before your throne, on which you proudly sit
While they beg for a minute of your time

You won’t write about me though
Because I’m aware none of this is true
My words may hold less meaning
Than I could even imagine,
But it doesn’t change the fact
This is what I want to hear.

“You owe me a poem”
You said to me.
What you didn’t know
Is that you already have two
That you’ll likely never see.
I promise this will be the last
(Unless you want more, that is)

(I)*
I have no intentions
I don’t want a thank you
I want you to be happy
I want you to smile while reading this
And laugh it up at my expense
(It’s pretty cheesy right?)

But you’re the only one
That I sit here at 7 AM
Writing about
When we've hardly spoken
In 3 days
At the very least,
I hope it’s an ego boost.

“I love poetry” you said
And I love to write;
This one though,
Isn’t for me
It’s yours.

She can't fall in love with a poet.

It's impossible.
We know what we want
and it scares her.
She'll turn her back to us
the moment we speak out.

We're a handful too many
and only a mere gift to some
How often does a poet
sit alone with his pad and ***?
Fall in love with a poet
Says the poet with no-one
We are *******
heart break is our whipped cream
on a freshly baked pumpkin pie.


That's why this poet
Is writing for his ex girlfriend
Who'll never take him back
but he has to try anyway.

On second thought
Please fall in love with a poet
Even though, I know you can't.

You overwhelm me

Excuse the rust, my readers My fans, and the woman I love. I haven't written in a very long time. But the woman I have loved for years asked me "Why me?" not even 12 hours ago, and I have her reason.

iIt's been almost a year,
Since the last time I wrote
And it's been days,
since the first time,
In two years that we last spoke

You overwhelm my mind
You're an anti-venom
of the poison that is everything around me.
If I was the last supper
You're Michelangelo
Only you could finish this masterpiece.

You overwhelm my body
In ways I can't even explain
I've never felt the way I do
As I do with you.

You overwhelm my senses
My eyes see every girl as a lesser you
My body rejects any touch, that isn't yours
And no smells can match
The heavenly scent, you left on my sweaters.

You overwhelm every piece of me,
Completing my life's sense, purpose, and dream.
Nothing I write could ever break it down
in the correct words just what you mean to me.
And that's one of the thousand reasons
why I love you.

"I hear ***** is a depressant that slows
Our bodies reaction along with the brain
So I'll take 7 shots of patron
Just to freeze time
And live through this love endlessly slow
I'll force my brain top stop working,
and allow my heart to enjoy the now with you
Before I awaken tomorrow,"
As he knows what's to come..

Cheating isn't so fun when you get caught
But he'll be okay..
so he thinks.
She wouldn't actually leave.
They'll just fight and ****.
He'll ****.
She never wants it anymore.

"I'm leaving"
You don't budge, and why would you?
She does this week in and week out
Because she's too weak to speak, so she shouts

"I'm sorry"
He says. "It won't happen again"
She buys it every time
But he does it once more.

The sad part is
You won't even learn your lesson
As you jump bed to bed,
And girl to girl
Breaking one heart at a time
With no thought of what you're really doing.

But she's frozen.
Maybe that's fear in her eyes
And her mascara..
It's smeared.. as if she cried

"You don't even care do you?"
She stares with a blank expression
Those tears don't even effect you
Do they?
And she walks out.

It's the weekend, and you're still alone
A dozen e-mails later and a pathetic poem
and your only thrills at home
Call of duty kills, your phone...

Still no word from her..
So he takes 7 more shots
"Maybe I'll wait it out"

and so he waits
...and waits...
...and waits...
...and waits...

The front door creeks
But nobody speaks
He grins
"Haha, she always gives in"
So he hollers out "welcome home baby"
As she steps into the room with a gun
Next time don't cheat on a crazy lady..

You're my candy. The sugar is always good,
I must be a diabetic, I need it.
But I am the Redhot tongue, in your mouth
That can supply a kiss, like no other.
This is our book, I'll write it,
You'll have to let the pictures turn.
I go too fast for most.

This has always been an issue.
I express myself.
I'll never admit how I feel, first
Not in person at least.
I know if I do, I might not love it.
The end result might not be perfect.
So I'll jot it down, and kick my feet up,
on your lap.
You'll have no idea what's on my mind.
As I feel burned
Set me on fire, and leave me for ashes.

You're my pill. I'll take you once a week.
At least. It's enough to get by.

The walls are painted.
The grass is cut.
The house is clean.
And you.. you are Malcolm
In the middle of it all.
But me?
I am on the other side.
I didn't go there on my own.
I was born there.
It was fate.

Your wants and my needs.
Is where it all breaks down too.
Whisper to me - in my ear,
Tell me you give in.
You want it all.
I want a wife, without the ring.
So I'll just laugh it off
and tell you, you need more seasoning
To be my last meal.
I want well done, and you're rare.
Sorry.

You can claim everything when I leave,
Most will be lies anyways.
But grip onto them, like prized possessions.
It'll be the first aid to your self worth.

Remember that time I forgot tell you something?
I might've looked around, for a new toy.
I  think they call it window shopping..
But I never touched the packaging.
Does that make you full of anger?

A woman will always mix up truth for lies
Even as it lies, right in front of her.
Waiting for a push, to a point
Even if that point isn't sharp enough
To prove anything.

You could ride along beside me
and say those three words that break
a romantic down, and make you his.
But I'll never again,
Take that left turn first.
Not after the first accident.
No insurance company,
Could EVER cover that.

I won't step on those brakes at this point,
I'm going too fast, and it's fragile.  
I'd rather have it snap in half
And ricochet off my soul.

I've had my fair share of troubles,
and heart ache,
Thanks to this history of mine.
It was the sign before the dead end

So...

Thank you.
But for you, misery
This is the end.