I realized tonight
that you are everything I wanted.
As we sat there in silence,
I looked at you for a moment
and I smiled at you.
And I don't know if you saw it
but know that it was real.
I felt like it was you and me all alone in this world.
Like we were driving on an empty road.
Going nowhere, no destination in mind.
I want it to be like this always.
If you felt it, I hope you wish for that too.
I feel better than okay with you.
I want to feel like that all the time.
And when I am with you,
I know the feeling will stay.
Because with you,
I am home.

Does it matter more to you that you care for others or that others care for you?
Would you take a series of bullets
Would you leap before a dashing car
Would you dance on sweltering embers for the sake of one who does you nought in return?
Wouldn’t most or wouldn’t anyone endure the worst for acknowledgement and commendation…

I try to be gallant—self-sacrificial,
Try to be benevolent, bleeding heart beyond comprehension
Yet am I worse than the slaughterers?
The iniquitous, the rest?
No more than the vile, reprobate, devilish…
For who, after all,
Cast oneself beyond forgiveness
The felon who would exploit acts of selflessness
To assemble his own
Maleficent, pernicious lair
Of praise, acclaim, and comfort.

trapped / these streets are like walls closing in on me / with spikes that are inching closer to my sanity, ready to tear me to shreds / already they are puncturing my lungs / it burns to breathe in this awful suburb and it's mirrored houses with the people smiling / the venom seeping through their teeth / my mind is collapsing into itself / not neat like a fabric napkin / like a telephone number written on a bar napkin crumbled in your back pocket