I'm a man but also a boy.
I'm mature but childish.
I'm stupid while being quick witted, a fat man with the confidence of one perfectly fitted.
The rebel fronting as a prep.
The smile covering the fear of death.
The frown covering the happiness of life while my shadow can eclipse the universe of all light.

I'm free now but more trapped than ever.
It's ended, gone and over.
My heart is crushed, beaten and slower.
Four years of hard work commitment and pain, my skin showing those scars to show my shame.

I'm a liar, a badman, I'm to blame.
I try to much or to little its never the same.
How can I ignore them when every year I have to write, speak, and hear their name.
I will never understand how our strength turned me lame forcing me to learn that the fight of my life was a game with nothing to gain.

I'm a man....but sometimes I feel like nothing.
Shattered dreams of feeling love and a part of something.
How do you go from the loves of each others lives to feeling nothing but sadness and resent inside.

I'm a loveless romantic.
All the tricks I know love I can show but all I ever get is we are done and you can go.

I feel so used.
My soul is abused.
I knew everything when I was with her... now I'm scared and confused.

I'm the one who was trying to make it work.
I'm the one who is shedding tears and being hurt.
How come I'm the one who feels cursed?
Always came second never came first.
Maybe this is the time I'm giving up the search.

it
all
     r
        o
      l
        l
          s
d
     o
       w
          n
              -
                 h
                   i
                     l
                       l

               and I'm at the bottom

with one foot on yesterday and the other on tomorrow I'm ******* all over the day

a home, above all else,
is familiar.
it does not have to be comfortable,
nor does it have to be full.
a home is probably a favorite place to be,
or maybe it houses some of the cruelest memories.

I like homes where I can drive quick and still avoid each upcoming pothole--
ones where old neighbors and new couples hunker down for their respectful chapters of life.
I like homes where I can walk around each obstacle in the kitchen with my eyes shut tight and only bang my shins a little bit.

a home is a sense, an intuition.
it is a place where you can dance while no one is watching.
you can fling your tears and regret at the walls and let them absorb your true feelings,
hushing you with their pillows and soft sounds and views.

a home is a home anywhere you choose it to be,
but above all else,
a home is familiar,
and that is a home to me.