Can't you see how much pain you are causing me?
I can't breathe..
You make me so weak,
To the point that I can't talk to you anymore.
We used to be close..
Now what do I do?
I love you,
Can't you see???

You remind me of an onion.

As the layers peel away,
I struggle not to cry
'cos you're just the same inside-

and in your heartless little way
you blinded me with love,
enough to make me stay-

to cut you up in little pieces
and chew you like
"Take that, you frickin' onion"

How fragile in innocence?
A voice held in a small body
Reaching out
Crying and sighing
All it says is
"I don't know if mommy and daddy are going to be married anymore. I'm scared"
Pulled close, whispering words calm him down
But I cannot save his innocence.

Sweet little heart;
a shiny new clock
that wouldn't start.

-ARI

There is a Buddhist proverb about loss.
when a vase breaks, do not become saddened
the vase was never going to survive
until the end of time.
In time, all things break, fall, leave, die
but it was all going to happen no matter what.
so when the vase cracks, shatters;
there has been no loss, only a fulfillment of destiny
In this way, all things make their end,
and their peace, with the earth

But there is one thing the Buddhists forgot
time
Yes it is true, that it is the course of all things
To leave ones life at some point.
And perhaps it is destiny indeed.
But there is loss.
Time cannot be brought back, replaced, or remade.
all of the time we were supposed to share is gone

In the end, time is also destined to run out.
Maybe time
Is the only noble loss to feel sad about.
No attachment to physical things;
Vases, cars, bodies, buildings, grass, or a book.
But rather an attachment
To the future- all of the hope and dreams of what's to come.

I am at peace with all of my losses
Except for that of time

A fault line runs in me through and through
Awakening unexpectedly,
Tearing at me
Night and day.
It crackles in the skin of my hands
I hide it from everyone.
You changed that,
As we search for each other in the dark,
Our skin and hair
Here and there.
I slept with a soundtrack
Of your breaths,
Whispering to me
The calmness of assurance
What else could I need,
The cracks within me fell asleep,
And so did we.

Do you ever feel
Like driving off in the middle of the night
Climbing a mountain and yelling
At the moon?

In all its serenity
In all its quiet peace

A constant sight in my sleepless nights
And I must know it's secrets

A vast expanse of gray
no blue, no light.
as above, so inside
no light for miles,
only a gray curtain pulled shut.
sometimes that rain comes
buckets of water dumped out.
sometimes the rain doesn't come,
but it's still there.
In the gray curtain pulled shut.
As above me, so inside me

I saw you in a picture today,

A Family Christmas Card.

Your face looks like mine
you can see it in the eyes
especially when you smile.

He's smiling
Holding you in his arms
like you belong there

She's holding your brother
like she held you
in the few pictures we took

Together.

But there's something
not quite right
with this picture.

You can see it in your eyes,
especially when you smile.

Some things will
never be
Perfect.