I can't drown the noise that fills the gap between breaths
Everything has a voice tied to a heartbeat
that bludgeons sanity unrecognizable

The soil once tilled for the garden last Spring
is the perfect patch of defiance
in the form of ragweed and allergies that mask fruitless tears

Places yet unseen carry life in the air
Breathing in impossible memories of tomorrows unseen
of dreams that haunt each breath with a beauty unsurpassed

Time was silent once, in your arms
Now, I can't drown the noise that fills the gap between breaths
that feel like razorblades to the eyes of what's left of my soul
And the only hint of peace I find is in the clothes that still smell like you

Words blur
Eyes burn
Thoughts implode
Melting under molten memories
The day I stopped being Her

The if and then
Of now and again
Has waged a war in words
Of joy and pain
The sadness reigns
Though nothing has occurred
To beg and plead
Yet not succeed
Can break the strongest heart
Though they tease
The subtleties
Enhance the miles apart

Fear
Judged by irrationality
Hidden in accidental oversights
Feeding the dragon that leaks molten lava in salty streaks of regret
Fear
Empty wasted emotion
Saving ourselves from ourselves
Saving you from me
Worst case scenarios never included you punishing me at the sight of my weakness
Fear
You only love me beautiful
Love is a profound type of collective psychosis
Looks like strength but hides the truth
The truth that certainty is the truest delusion
Fear
On my best day, in the best possible scenario, I am still invisible
Open and still transparent
Full and still forgotten
Insightful and irrelevant my thoughts pour out unheard
Fear
In my demon's shadows lives the truth of my vulnerability
I am weak because I love you
I am a warrior because you love me
I am strong because I love you
I am a lamb because you love me
Fear
Spilling my unseen secrets
My evil self-talk, my mantra of honest lies
The purr of a kitten unsettles a soul beginning to believe it mattered
Pain dismissed in the peaceful snores of a tired moon
Fear
The sun shines in hope on the remnants of dream
On the nightmare of forgotten, overlooked, inconsequential truth
Empty apologies and the familiarity of beloved anguish
Herald the realization, that words don't matter
Truth or lies, faithless faithful, and a newfound silence
Fear
Invisible save for the ash lines that tell the tale
Of how I begged forgiveness for sharing my tormented and twisted mind
Only to be interrupted by the sounds of your peaceful slumber
Fear**
To be everything to your everything
and realize I am still........nothing at all