I hate the way I
                             F
                               A
                                 L
                                   L
                                       in love
With a whisper
That LOOK

you know the one I mean

Always with the one I know will leave.

Is it really love that I crave
Or an excuse to wallow in my **misery?

When the night
                 rubs out the horizon
                 and all this black
                 has more the quality of shade

and all the copsed trees
                cluster round sleeping fields
                and buried life waits and looks,

a door in a heap of lived-in-stones opens
               neon turns the cowshed
               into some kind of church.

This is the drained time,
              the false dawn
              that makes the morning man start.

I used to judge love
By the words I was told.

But people deceive with their tongues.

I tried to judge love
By the way I was treated.

But people deceive with their actions as well.

So how should one judge love?

It's simple: you don't.

You just love with all your heart, mind, body and soul.
You hold on for the ride,
And hope against all hope

*That this time will be different.

I just want to let you know
That I am still here for you
I had to let you go
So you could figure out what's true.

You hold my soul within your eyes
I never wanted to love you
You haven't said your goodbyes
And I hope you never do.

Take all the time you need
To figure out what you should do
Ignore my pain as my heart bleeds
I just want what's best for you.

But when you've got it figured out
If you still want me let me know
Please don't give me room to doubt
If I should stay or I should go.

My dear son
I pray you'll never know
How cruel this world can be
I pray your charm and dimpled smile
Will be your shield
I see these sweet kids just like you

On YouTube

Thinking the world is their friend
Being lured with kind words
Then beat down
Being invited to do the ice bucket challenge
Then doused with **** and ****
All they want is to belong
All they want is to be loved
To be on the inside for once
Instead of outside looking in
Sweet boy, I hope you'll never understand
What the other kids mean
When they call you *******
I hope you never cease to believe
They're laughing with you
Not at you
But more than that I pray
You'll be like the other kids someday
Able to communicate
Able to drive a car
Get a job
Go to college
Get married
But for now I'm grateful for each advance
And I pray that one day
I'll be worthy of you

The world is cruel and unjust, so much so
that men like Don Quixote escape into
The realm of fantasy, where giants roam
And Dragons breathe
Avoiding Reality
With an Artful Mastery
Because the world is cruel and unjust, so cold
and Unforgiving of your broken heart
or weary soul

And I spent my whole life wandering
The Wasteland of Civilization
Until the day I discovered you
And came to the realization-
I am Above
the ugliness of man
I am Beyond
The fire in my glands
the need to connect and
for someone to understand
the sickness inherent
in my emotions.

Because now - I found you
A Warrior's Work of Art
I feel your magic all around me
my Armor of the Heart
We started out in jest - but soon
We bled into each other
And you became my Guardian Angel
as I became your lover

No Fall from Grace,
Disdainful Face,
or Glare of Hate
that I may take
Today,
Will shake me
from my resting place,
Where we exist
in Peace.

You strengthen me within
And now there's no room to get in
For anybody other than
You, my goddess of sin

For, though I've suffered the slings and arrows
of pain
and ridden with Kings and Heroes
in Vain
Across Battlefields of Love and Hate
I remain
Shielded by your Grace
No matter the Time or Place.

The Screaming outside my window
in the Dark
is no longer inviting
the way it was before
deep inside me, I feel a change come forth
The Mysteries
infinitely howl at my door
But my desire to join them is no more
The Mysteries that captured me
And stole me into the dark
Are now Uninteresting
and Withering
before my Armor of the Heart.

Once upon a time...
You & I lived lives divided
Until by fate we were united
When we first lit the fire
Once upon a time
I would watch you from a distance
Desired you, but stayed resistant
To the Urges that would cloud my mind
with Wickedness, persistent

Your perfect fairy wings
Fluttered lightly in the wind
And though I did the best I could
My thoughts were wrought with sin
And I desired you like mad
For the Angel that I had
Left me burning despicably
With wretched flames within

And You
were so
Inviting.
Your Body
Ripe
for the Taking.

Guarded you were
Behind Gates of the Dragon
Yet I watched you intently
Plotting my Ransom
Waiting on the right moment to strike
To steal you away from your
Protected Life
And to take you back with me
Into my Cell
In the dark and abysmal cave where I dwell
To teach you the ways
Us Creatures gain pleasure
To make you my Slave
And to ransack your Treasures
And then came the day
That you broke away
From the Chains
That held you to where you were safe

I saw you
And watched you
and Stalked you
Intently
While you were out searching the world
Innocently
And then,
When you were finally in reach
And we were Alone
I snatched you away
from the flowers and reeds
And stole you back with me
into my home
A cold and depressing
Dungeon of Stone

Your protector was gone
And you were all mine
When we were alone
Lost somewhere in time
And to my shock, and utter surprise
You became the flame that lit up my eyes
And slowly but surely as days slipped by
I became yours more than you became mine

And then, you escaped
or did I let you get away?
You emerged from my cave
Beautiful, unscathed
I just couldn't bring myself
to be one you hate
When your love is so sweet
I just couldn't betray it

But then, I thought
of you out in the world
Alone
On your own
My sweet pixie girl
And I couldn't
JUST COULDN'T
Handle the thought
of a Monster like me
Dragging you through the mud
Coveting you
the way that I do
But most of All
Tasting your Love

Staying put was so much harder than
trying to be your Guardian
and Rescue you
and Shelter you
from any more Hate or Abuse

And now I see my sins
Led me out of the darkness within
Into the sunshine of your life -
Where I found the Source of Light
I needed to keep me alive
And I feel like I owe you my life

And now you're free from my Prison
but I guess, so am I, in essence
In the end, the Fairy
Showed the Goblin,
He longed to be a Prince.