you were so
beautiful
that i compared you
to a flower

but i forgot
that flowers withered
until the day
that you died

Sometimes

       All of this

           Sanity

   Just makes

            Me

       Go **Insane

Για εκείνους που μπορεί να διαβάσει αυτό
Συγνώμη
Κολλητική βραδύποδες
Πολιτικά Αλύσοπριονα
Εγο ανάγκη ένα άλογο
Πεταλούδα
Δέντρο

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

Μισώ τον εαυτό μου
   και είμαι κολλημένος με τον εαυτό μου
   αλλά τουλάχιστον
   Δεν είμαι πλέον
   Κολλημένος ζουν μαζί σας
   Αδελφές για πάντα Σκύλα
   Και το εννοούσα
   αλλά σας
υπήρξαν
αποκήρυξαν

I have a disease.
It's called Ugly.
It isn't fatal though.
What a shame. :(

I want to carry it with you.
I don't need to know your burden
Because it probably won't really help
And you probably don't want to tell me anyway
I get that
I've been there
I am there
I know people who have been there
I know people who are there
If you don't have one, you probably will one day.
Most of us do.
Because we live in an ugly society
But a beautiful world
If you want someone to know
If you want ME to know
That you are carrying a heavy burden
You don't need to tell me
You can if you want
I will listen
I will help you bear it
But if you just want someone to know you are carrying a burden
And nothing beyond that
Comment a heart <3
Just leave a heart like this: <3
If you want to share your burden
Message me, or comment telling me your burden
Just know, it doesn't make you weak to share your burden
It makes you strong
Regardless what you do, comment with a heart if you carry a burden
And I will know, even if no one else on the entire earth does
That you carry a burden
I will know that you are strong
And I will genuinely take some time at night
To ponder you, as a soul
And your strength
And try to find a way
Inside myself
To put myself in a mental state where I help you to carry your burden
Emotionally
No matter how many miles apart we are
I will be with you in spirit
To help you carry your burden
And I wish all of you love and strength
You are soldiers
You are all strong
<3

Love Ember

Dying slow in the mountains seemed much easier than simply breathing at sea level.

I've been thinking that maybe I was happier when I was still drinking.

I tried to write a poem called Pointless and never made it beyond the title.

Dying seems easier than breathing at sea level.

r ~ 11/7/14

I woke up on the right side of the bed but on the wrong side of the world
So it’s back to the drawing board again as it draws to a close
You cost me an arm and a leg and I broke a leg with the act that I put on
You jaywalked across my life the way that every story goes

I am not yet defiled; O hear me.
Let not the crazed hornets or serpents or ophidian or the
   buzzard bee come near me.

I am not yet defiled; console me.
I fear that the snake charmer may with rhythmic body clocks clock me,
   with predatory hissing paralyze me, with authoritative power anger me,
      on wicker constraints constrain me, in bamboo-patches pierce me.

I am not yet defiled; provide me
With beauty to free me, dressage to cover me, silence to come
   to me, souls to save me, charmers and angels
     in my wandering existence seeking fights to waver the war within me.

I am not yet defiled; forgive me
For the provocative glances in me, my presence when womanity holds me,
   my mythological beauty by deities beyond me,
      my head held high when they slay by means of my
         crossbow, my addiction when they poison me.

I am not yet defiled; rehearse me
In the dreams and the prayers I must take when
   art interrupts me, material disturbs me, splintered souls
     gaze at me, smiles fade at me, the knifes edge
       stains me and everlasting scars pain
         me to shame and the shames taints
           my skin and my heart abandons me.

I am not yet defiled; O hear me,
Let not Perseus who is warrior or who thinks he is King
     or a rival to me.

I am not yet defiled; O fill me
With gasoline against those who would inhabit my
  bones, would sink me into empty caverns,
    would make me a prisoner locked, a monster with
      blood dripping, a monster, and a passer of dis-ease
        who would execute my self, would
          flush me like ***** oozing and
            ***** and ooze and *****
              like alcohol seeping in the
                pores would drown me.

Let Poseidan not make me defiled and let him not **** me.
Otherwise **** me.

© Sia Jane