I saw you
As you stared at me
Two deers caught in each other headlights
As brief as a flash, blinked, and you’d miss it

I am only reminded of my heaviness when you are there
Standing – Floating – Watching
As ghostly as any ghost, then
Gone – Vanished – Nothing
I am alone, again, cursed to remain here

I tried to follow in your footsteps
Untangling, unknotting, unravelling
Myself from a generation of debt and duty
These twisted roots of familiar obligations
How did you escape such a similar situation?

I wasn’t born light, like you.
I was born heavy, brother.
I will have to earn my lightness.

Sometimes on rainy days
when the weighty pain becomes unmanageable
I find myself slipping into the tangible delusion
Of ascribing meaning to everything

That maybe you think of me as much as I think of you
That you see my pain and want to help
But it’s just too much for you right now
When you’re ready, you’ll come back to me
You’ll come back.

Sometimes the little lies we tell ourselves
Can be enough to get us through this life

But not tonight.

-


i can just imagine how things would
end up, me being a little more than
hesitant to even consider vocalizing
myself "Live" to dozens of listeners

—me—

starting out on a platform in some school
gymnasium just a short million miles away
from the safety of my writing cubical deep
inside a worm hole underneath my domicile

im sure that a few in the crowd will wonder
what this thing is doing there, my thin, shaky
form walking erratically to center stage with a
tablet in one hand and a cup of water in the other—

well, it could be *****..

the microphone will be way too big for
what little i have to say, commencing
with an unsteady vocal that many will find
indistinguishable from man or woman,

the rhythm should get better after the first
of several stanzas, but i will have already
spotted the ombudsman standing near the
emergency exit listening in—

just as i feared,

and as our eyes meet, his expectation
of structure and rigidity will boil me
down to the hardwood floor, reducing
me to the basic size of a Cornish hen,

spun lengthwise upon his rotisserie,
roasting away as a smoldering torso
from his slow hand-cranked rotations

over the campfire which he will light his
cigarettes from, leaving me choking
from the smoke of his evaluations
as i drip into the cinders and
evaporate along with most
of my self ~esteem..

i realize that he'll just be some ghost
that has haunted my every attempt
at simple boldness,

but i know he is gonna be right there
if i ever climb up to laser like stares
and the wide-open ~hears~ of
kindred poets and curious ears,

an easy fellow to pick out—

he will be the one
holding my neck
in his hands...


s jones
2008-2020


.

You start with Coke
Regular
A glass bottle
Is preferred
If you're reaching for Pepsi
Get a clue
That sweet drink
Just won't do
A bag of peanuts
The salted kind
Which ever brand
Suits you fine
Grab your Coke
Pop the lid
Take a good
Long sip from it
Pour the peanuts
From the bag
Into the Coke
Till there's none left
Tilt it back
Drink and chew
Cause that's just what
You're supposed to do
If you're wondering what
This delicacy is called
It's Coke & Peanuts
That's Southern ya'll

When he climbs on top of me
I’m silenced.
Fearing if I fight
he’ll hurt me worse.
I can smell the alcohol
on his breath as he says,
“I love you,”
He puts his hands
under my shirt
and asks, “do you love me?”
I don’t reply
He puts his hand around my throat
“I said, do you love me?”
I whisper “yes”
because my life is in his hands
He says, “your body is mine, and it belongs to me”
At the sound of his zipper
my heart sinks
I know what’s about to happen
I beg him to stop,
That if he truly loves me,
He wouldn’t do this
But my words don’t mean a thing.
I try to push him off me
but he pins me down
He rips off my clothes
and I lay there as helpless as a mouse
trapped in an eagle’s grasp
With tears streaming down my face
I cry, “please stop, please stop, please stop”
But my cries go unnoticed
He spits on his hand
and forces himself inside me
I stop fighting
because I know
what’s done is done
I stare at the empty ***** bottles on the shelf
as he penetrates my body, my mind, my spirit.

So, you rather they lie to you than to be honest to you.
You rather they be less direct instead of being real.
For the ones that bold and upfront is the ones many ladies linked to disrespect.

When they come real, you states they rude.
When he upfront request to take you home.
He's fine with you saying you won't.
And get offended when he approaches another one.

You, like many ladies point out the type they want.
And more likely here you will find the best Oscars qualified actors.
They will fit the role perfectly that you seek.
And accomplish getting all of your treats and sweets.

And then, when you wake up from this fantasy and he's not what you thought?
Now he changed when in truth he did all the things you stated you seek.

But now you wants the guy that honestly spokes the truth.
Except he now doesn't want any part of you.
Roles, we play in our pursuit.

I hate how *** is now ,
*** suppose to be special but people ruined it
*** is where two bodies shrieve to each other in slow motion
*** is where the lady trust you with her body
*** is where an earthquake run through a tsunami ,
*** is a sensation caused by temptation to increase population of the next generation.

It is so simple,
We've come undone, but I'd still
Love you 'til the end