“No” does not exist
“No” has been replaced with “yes”
So, every time I say “no,”
it means “yes”
This is what he told me.

I am not allowed to say “stop”
In our relationship,
“Stop” is not part of my vocabulary
This is what he told me.

“Take off your clothes”
“No”
“What did we talk about?”
“I said No”
He pushes me on the bed
and unbuckles his belt
I try to get up
but he pushes me down again
He grabs my legs
pulling me towards him
“Please stop” I whisper,
He puts his hands around my throat
I can’t breathe
“If you say the word ‘stop’ again,
I will **** you.”
I close my eyes
because I knew he wouldn’t stop.
Not until he was finished.
I lay in silence,
tears running down my face.

When he climbs on top of me
I’m silenced.
Fearing if I fight
he’ll hurt me worse.
I can smell the alcohol
on his breath as he says,
“I love you,”
He puts his hands
under my shirt
and asks, “do you love me?”
I don’t reply
He puts his hand around my throat
“I said, do you love me?”
I whisper “yes”
because my life is in his hands
He says, “your body is mine, and it belongs to me”
At the sound of his zipper
my heart sinks
I know what’s about to happen
I beg him to stop,
That if he truly loves me,
He wouldn’t do this
But my words don’t mean a thing.
I try to push him off me
but he pins me down
He rips off my clothes
and I lay there as helpless as a mouse
trapped in an eagle’s grasp
With tears streaming down my face
I cry, “please stop, please stop, please stop”
But my cries go unnoticed
He spits on his hand
and forces himself inside me
I stop fighting
because I know
what’s done is done
I stare at the empty ***** bottles on the shelf
as he penetrates my body, my mind, my spirit.