Streaks of red and black strike within
To tangle dangerously around my fragile skin
So volatile and sweet
I can melt my surroundings in a blink
And all it would take
Is one disdainful look
To trigger a demise

I live in a home of carmine red
Rigged with thorns of regrets without fortitude
And the floor covered in ragged rugs
To hide the scars of my tragic misfortunes

Rants and screeches bring severe astringency
There is no mercy
As it always reaches deep inside my throat
And around my neck
Tightly coiled, hurtful words begin to suffocate

The boiling blood of relentless fury
I am left in a steam of silence
Without a vent to this clustered chaos
I have become a hidden rage within me
As I watch the icy, red glow
Eradicate my destructive home

A broken toy that still works.

It's hard for me that my muse be gone
Someone whom I dear, a special one
From your notes I have read, things that you wanted to do
Truly mister regrets imprison you

Girl you know, we both fear someone
And still kinda no bullet in our gun
I know how hard for you to keep
A pain that hurts, even when you sleep

Babe, I am also wounded when you felt pain
When you feel you can't stand, we feel the same
So if ever you want to be free, I'll let you go
But please will you please, don't wish me to forget everything

But if ever you want to know, what's inside my thoughts
I'll be quite straight "I want us to go on, my dear"
But simply decisions are up to you
To show you how much I care
To let you know how much I love you

My girl I'm quite strange
I won't ask you, I know we felt the same
We both fear the tracks of time
The days left us one by one

So I've asked myself, why I still love to stay
I've asked the sun, why he loves to remain that way
But the answer girl is quite simply
There's something only love can do
There's something only love can do....


written: April 9, 2001

Mysterious Aries

The tingling sensation, it feels cold, but it's the homiest feeling I've had since I was six years old
A crater large bowl full of emptiness
A sleepless night over other's carelessness
Lists of excuses and procrastination
Time wasted on wishful imagination
Cryless eyes and tearless faces
Unmade tries and changeless races
Running time and short ends
No traces

Luggage its all to much, the need is
Burning me up, the powder the liquid
It fills me with joy. The thought of looking
After these that i,ve started to ignore is
Getting to much, I have to choose what
Is right that which I want so much.

What is that my heart disires , what my
Heart wants so much, my love eroded by
The needle by each ******* it numbs
My feelings till there isnt much.
  
Just one more, then my feeling will be clear,
My head full of confusion this will make
It all clear. I think a thought as i fade in to
Bliss, that I wish for my children, but now
Realisation that this was one is one too much.

A body now slowing, feelings fading, a last
Thought not of the high. But the children
I have let down over this accursed white
Dust. Fading in to terror as I realise to late
That I wanted the children, as a tear rolls
Down a cold face, my last thought is
I will miss my children so much.

I think of a word and then write it
Out, the rope is now thrown up and
Over placed just right. I write one
More, the noose is nicely tightened
Up just right.

A word comes to mind, a thought
Made on paper, can I guess what
Will happen next.

So many words writtern, things
I have done, to make this right? first
Was the rope, the noose tightened
Just right. A word on paper the rope
Drawn to that which will hold it tight.

Words have been written, the time
Is quickly Running out, as the last
One is on paper my time has run out.

The hang man is finished, the note  
Written out. Where once their
Was panic and movement, I am the
Hang man silent and still the noose
Drawn tightly no air to escape  in or out.

 Peace now resides on this still calm
Face, as I am waiting to be  found with
My note explaining everything  neatly
Written out.

in a field of daisy bells ,
where the hopes are laid,
there has been a thunderstorm,
that abolished them all away.

I wish you could catch my ever tear
And then wash the pain away.

I wish you could, would drink a teardrop
And taste the bitter misery inside.

I wish you didn't see my watered eyes
And know that you caused this pain inside.

I would whisper in your ear, exhale
What little is left, but it would be
Worth every exhalation to see
But one more smile, to be glanced
For words said in a breath.

I take my time, I don't want waste
This treasure that is like grains
Ever dropping through a broken
Glass. Never to be captured lost
Never to be regained.

My last breath was worth the
Wait, it was taken when I was
With that i could spend that
inhale & exhale, the breath
Was spent on
"I LOVE  YOU"
It was worth it.  My last
Moment finished with a smile
Lasting forever on my still lips