Your skin pale from
Winter. Smooth as
Female Nature Herself; as silk,
Yet warm as young
Motherhood, electric
As newlywed love.

I whisper improvised poetics
Between lips that know each
Pore of your perfect person.
I kiss clichés on your cheekbone,
Nouns on your nose.
Bury my face in your sweet
Eternities of seraphim scented hair,
And pray that the poem
I leave on your parchment skin
Remains unread by
Other readers.
You wrap your covers around
Me, unfolding, then folding,
               Unfolding, then folding,
Like a slowing butterfly mid-
Butterflight.

And I add a poem to everything,
As always.
A poem the exact size of a
Lady loved, -the sound of
Waves of Wish upon Thank,
And the weight of
The world's only
Actual
Church.

Before we were
Christians,
Muslims,
Jews,
Hindus,
Sikhs,
we were all human.
The funny thing is that we still are
We have just forgotten it...
We are all human,
regardless of religion and race
If you can't accept this simple concept even
say good bye to globalization
and internalization
and be in your comfort zone...
safe and sound...

~

Final memory



When death
on darkened skies
through my window
flies

My wish
in pleading sighs
is that before my
eyes

Your face
is what I see
of this last breath I
breathe

So nothing
else shall be
my final
memory

I need to get from Point A to Point B.



Point B is at your front door,

where I am standing with a tray of homemade of freshly cooked pancakes to start your day right.

I won’t forget the maple syrup.



Point B is at GameStop,

We would wander around the endless aisles as you go through the games you love, hate, or want to play.

And I would hold your hand, and tell you mine.



Point B could be at Starbucks,

I would order coffee. You hate coffee.

You’d let me go on and on about the book I’m reading,

You’d tell me your favorite books.

And maybe I’ll recite some poetry here and there.



Point B could be anywhere,

As long as you’re the one driving.

And I ride shotgun.



Point B is at that Pizzeria place you want me you go to,

I can finally try that pizza you were always telling me about.

We should order dessert, too.



Point B is in your bed,

where I would actually wake up beside you saying “good morning”, and not having to read it from my phone.

We would cuddle.

And exchange playful kisses.



Point B is where I want to go.

It’s where I need to go.

Point B is you.

Far away, far away
Beneath a wraith of thorns
Not today, not today
I will never forget the scorn

Far below, far below
Under a bouquet of seeds
I must go, I must go
Where mother and son bleed

Not again, not again
The sky will suffer and hate
Far ahead, far ahead
There are ruins lying in wait

Far behind, far behind
Beside corpses twisted in regret
Never again, never again
Should we let the living forget

You may have died young,
        but as long as
        my words live,

*You will never grow old.

My mind
my poor mind
is swimming with thoughts
Swelling with oceans of heartaches forgot
Waves of regret rise and break on my shores
But in search of that bliss
I dive back in for more.
I rock
And I tumble
All alone in my head
Contemplate if I've known
what it's like to be dead
I've been numb as a ghost,
I've been colder than ice
yet my heart beats on still in its pale morning light
As dawn breaks on my waters,
what the waves whisper of
is whether or not
i have known how to love.

no one understands
that i can't be myself around a stranger
it takes time for me to be comfortable
and open up

no one understands
that when i say give it time
and ill be myself
i mean what i say

no one understands
that i can't control it
i can't tell myself to not be shy
my personality is weird like that

no one understands
that when they make jokes like
"you never talk"
"you're so shy ***"
i take that personally

no one understands
that i am self conscious about that
i cant help but beat myself up when i say the wrong things
or don't say anything at all

no one understands
that i am shy for a reason
God made me this way
He gave me this unique personality

I am shy
so i don't make the wrong friends
so i don't say the wrong things
so guys mess with me
because i'm too nice
God protected me
when he formed me in my mother's womb
i am forever grateful
to have a God who loves me unconditionally
i am glad i'm shy
i wouldn't be myself if i weren't

And all at once I disappeared,
I knew it'd happen soon,
You feel empty for a while,
Until eventually you turn to nothing.
I've been nothing for a long time,
So the feeling never surprised me,
I just hoped I get to say goodbye first,
Maybe I can save it for another day.

And all at once I disappeared,
I don't mind as much as I expected,
I've been feeling like a ghost a while now,
It was only a matter of time.

And all at once I disappeared,
I hope I won't return.

Insomnia
I wish so dearly that you could see my love for you
but it's stuck in my chest
and all I have to express this completion and warmth
that you give me
are symbols and sounds
triviality, symbols, sounds... Don't come close
To what is real, when you're near

The summer insects celebrate the coming
of seasons as I lay in my cot, and ponder
of how I hate the changing of weather
because It reminds me of how I'm dying
and I feel like a lonely magazine laying on a coffee table
in a deserted office, once all the tired peons have gone
to their restful homes
I sit, in darkness, immobile, yet waiting
for something unfathomable
I'm thinking
I wish so dearly that my love could see what I feel, but It's trapped in my chest
and these seasons passing drives me insane. I just remembered I'm dying.
Dying.
dying.
Sleep.