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 May 2014
Wednesday
They say home is wherever you lay your head at night
That must be true
because my former house has a lock on the door now;
a lock to keep me out.

I never realized this is how it is to be homeless,
the endless wandering of a place to rest at night
the endless cycle of hunger and
thirst and
protection

I walk out of work with not a place to be in the world
and if I’m being honest it should frighten me.

I am a wanderer.

I have no sense of direction,
no moral pull,
nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I have this endless feeling of discomfort and
an airy breeze where the good in my heart and soul should be.

I am a girl, not a very beautiful or talented one.

I belong to anyone who belongs to everyone.

Home is where I rest my head for a night.

Home is a backseat
Home is a smoke filled room at 2 am
Home is a parking garage
Home is a strangers bedroom

Home is a feeling rather than a location,
but those who have a lock and key and
a mortgage fee will never understand.
I am homeless, but I am free.
 May 2014
Kevin Eli
Once I was at a house party in the highlands, I got very drunk.
We were skateboarding on the large tennis court up on the top of the extravagant property which did not belong to any of us.

I was trying to do a trick and the board flew out from under me and rolled out of control into the center net. I didn't know it, but I broke both bones below my wrist clean across.

When I fell, I was initially disoriented.
I remember everybody letting out a big gasp or "Oooh, ouch."
I staggered to my feet and tried to assess the situation.

I started to feel dizzy and fell back over.
I think two people helped me back up and got me sat down in a chair.
I remember the feeling that I was blacking out and couldn't breathe.

"I think I am going into shock." I said to everybody around me.
"I think I might need some medical attention." I said immediately after.

Nobody really paid attention.
"You're fine." Somebody said.
I shook my head as to say no, but to no avail. Nobody was listening.
"I need an ambulance"
I passed out again.

At some point, I woke up and drove myself home, drunk and with a broken arm. Nobody wanted to give their good time to help me, even though I knew everybody and I desperately needed it...

The terrifying part about this, is that it has happened before.

Know who your friends are
Know how cruel and negligent they can be.
Know how little drugs and alcohol care about you.
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
Secret Of The Soul

Im opening up a window
In the center of my soul
So all the world can finally see
This secret that I hold

This secret that I share with you
Is precious to my heart
Hidden for so very long
That I dont know where to start

My secret tells a story
Of two soul's lost in time
And of a love that has been found
Between your heart and mine

A secret life of loving you
Hiding feeling deep inside
While knowing what I wanted most
Was to have you by my side

As tender mercy turns the page
I  know now  it is time
I will spend my future in your arms
And start a brand new life

So im openimg up a window
In the center of my soul
So all the world can finally see
This secret that I hold


Carl Joseph Roberts
This poem was written with the help and encouragement of Mike Hauser. He tried to break me out of my sappy love poems but apparently I am just a helpless romantic and fell back into my sure and true style..lol. Little changes Mike little changes and I break out in about one in ten poems. Also Bob Browning contributed a few changes in lines to make this more smooth. This is  what I call asking for help and receiving it when you have a block and need a push. Great thanks to Mike and Bob for this help.
 May 2014
Kevin Eli
Blindly crawling, ****** kneed, trembling.
Feeling in the darkness, the murk and muck on the floor covers knees.
Breath uneven and scared, terrified again.

There are no doors, no windows, no others.
The cell has no features, only walls with no color.
An expression of the mind, an image of nightmare. Empty.

The lack of content is what scares.
Air so thick, one would choke, but I can't open my mouth.
Nothingness pervades. Wades through the thoughts to another corner.

With but thy blood and fingernails, messages are cut, carved and scraped into the grey concrete of these walls, words begging to not be forgotten.
Messages mandating weak memory to scribe.

This is my mind. This is where each day I reside.

In terror of the world, I am not inside.
in horror of the things I think, or thought?
I know not nor remember what I do, I am scared.
Naked, afraid and trying to remember the lessons I learned so long ago.

Goose-bump covered and huddled in the corner.
Hands wrapped around my knees, crying, shaking.
Dead inside, hollowed out. Nobody home.
Betrayed again...
By myself.

Beside myself.
A mind is a horrible place to be trapped...
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
Each And Every Day

I try to see the man inside
When others turn away
They all pretend that he's not there
Each and every day

I bring coffee in the mornings
To help warm his inner soul
We talk about the life he lives
How his day it will unfold

I give advice on where to go
When the weather gets to cold
Knowing that the words I say
He hears but will not hold

I check on him each morning
And make sure that he's alright
Hoping that he heard my words
Found shelter through the night

He tells me that the bottle
Is what keeps him warm inside
I know that he will not let go
Of the comfort it provides

I try to see the man inside
When others turn away
They all pretend that he's not there
Each and every day


Carl Joseph Roberts
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
Life of a single man

Sometimes we *** in the shower
And we hardly ever make the bed
We clean ourselves with shampoo
Using the lather from our heads

At times we wear the same old socks
That we wore the day before
And dont even get us started
On how long jeans last on the floor

When the bed gets made we sleep on top
Then just straighten when we get up
And do we really need to wash the sheets
If our skin they do not touch

We drink milk from the carton
Eat fast food way to much
We have pizza pie for dinner
And eat leftovers when we get up

We want the house to look real clean
So there are rooms that we don't use
When we can write our name in dust
That's when we grab a broom

This is the life of a single man
We just do what we want to do
It is very hard for us to change
When we meet that someone new

So dont try to change us overnight
So far we have made it through
But if by chance we fall in love
We may just change for you

Carl Joseph Roberts
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
Compared To Many Others

Do we ever really stop and think
Of how good a life we have
Compared to many others
It's really not that bad

We go to work and say things
Like how much we hate our jobs
Complain about the hours we work
Or the time we must get up

There are many others out there
Who begin a search each day
To try to find a job like ours
That comes with decent pay

Insurance is a big thing
We take for granted till there's a need
While those without a job at all
A doctor they wont see

We eat our dinners every night
Pay our bills and go to sleep
No worries for the ones outside
Who are living in the streets

So today I will just stop and think
Of this good life that I have
Compared to many others
Its really not that bad

Carl Joseph Roberts
This was written on a challenge I gave to Mike,  on how we see a typical day.  I have already made my concession call as Mike has already posted his master poem to stop any future challenges that other poets may have...LOL. Yep I may not have won this battle but I have just inlisted all other poets to challenge you Mike..lol.   I will win the war and wear you down my friend and one day I will take the crown..This is my master plan.. crap.....I have given my master plan away. crap.
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
Sometimes Something Happens

Sometimes something happens
That makes you stop and think
Is this the life I planned on
Or is it just the life I need

Is this life I live a good one
Have I done enough to help
In the end when I look back
Will I be happy with myself

Sometimes something happens
Makes you take that one step back
It reminds you of what matters
Or the good life that you have

It gives a new perspective
Shows a different point of view
Creates a feeling deep inside
That somehow changes you

Sometimes something happens
That makes you change your mind
Allows for new beginnings
Let's you leave your past behind

Well today that something happened
That did all the things above
It gave me what I needed most
A new chance to fall in love

Sometimes something happens

Carl Joseph Roberts
December 2013
 May 2014
Wednesday
We cover illness with flowers
and flowers die

The inside of my mouth tastes like it is decaying
I hope I lose all of my teeth first

Maybe its just the scotch and *****
But there is a burning in my throat

Maybe it is Satan just making his way out
 May 2014
Kevin Eli
The state of our future society is not to be blamed on our parents, or corporations, or warring nations.
The responsibility of our future lies solely on our own shoulders.
For nothing will or can be done unless every single one of us decides to change the world we live on in each waking moment.
Within myself, I hold no blame for the future, only for my past…

But I must take responsibility for both.
This is my soliloquy.
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
I Saw Perfect

Today I looked in
And I saw a perfect face
A smile that lit up the room
When others looked your way

There was this calm about you
As you looked around the room
Knowing just what you want
And who is right for you

You looked my way and smiled
And I wondered who you saw
Not realizing it was me
That you searched for all along

I felt this calming peace within
As your eyes peirced my soul
I saw the inner beauty
That I knew was there to hold

That perfect person in the room
Was there for all to see
For that perfect face that I saw
Was in a mirror in front of me


Carl Joseph Roberts
This poem is about finding yourself first. Seeing yourself differently and knowing that the way you see yourself, so will others. Believe that what you have to offer is what others want and others will want what you have to offer. (Wait I see a future poem in those last few words...lol)
 May 2014
Carl Joseph Roberts
The Power Of A Whisper

A whisper makes you listen
It can stop you in your tracks
Can gives words different meaning
Create memories that will last

Whispers cause new feelings
They can change a point of view
Will help to stop the anger
When someone's mad at you

A whisper gives true comfort
Allows a calming peace within
If you listen very closely
You'll hear a whisper in the wind

A whisper sometimes can be heard
From way across a room
To feel the power of a whisper
Just whisper I Love You

Whisper

Carl Joseph Roberts
 May 2014
Wednesday
I have sharpened my teeth ready to rip and tear
like soldiers and their swords

I am listening to the sound of the rain on the roof
while you fold your clothes to sad song about madness and memories and it is quiet in the house with the same kind of finality of
a lock clicking of
a door slamming of
a finished book

like a knife slicing through a teen on a Chicago city street at 1 am
no streetlights
no police
no gunshots

just this skin
this blood on asphalt
on sidewalk
on boy
on knife

just blood on the roof of this house like a warning
something wicked resides here do not come near
something that says dangerdangerdangerdanger

Never look back.
Never look here again,
there is something about you that keeps me coming back for more
like you are selling crack ******* on the street corners and
I am an addict panhandling

I know you will leave me when I am hopelessly in love
I know I will not be able to breathe without you.

Without the weight of your body and breath on mine
you will leave me peeled and gutted, spineless.
Every dream crushed like a body thrown from the 40th floor.

You will leave me like tsunamis leave islands,
like hurricanes leave cities,
like tornadoes leave houses

utterly destroyed from the core out,
and you?

You will leave like a bird from a nest.


Weightless.
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