If I die today,
Would I be missed,
would someone miss me?

If I die today,
Would tears fall,
would someone cry?

If I die today,
Would that change anything,
would the world be changed?

If I die today,
Would anyone care?
No one would ever care. . .

- Freja Jep

Please don't get offended,
That I no longer care.
You see I wait around,
but you were never there.

I got tired
and angry,
frustrated
and mad.
That you were happy
and I was sad.

But I realise now some things
aren't meant to be
And being with you
wasn't meant for me.

We have come too far she said,
too late to get back together,
But is it?

Been 9 months 9 days since we broke-up,
Stupid of me to let you go,
But my love for you has never been low,
Same feelings ,same me
but it's not the same you,
We have come too far she said.
Have we really?

You got a new bf ,
I am still alone ,
Not because I have no options,
But they don't make me feel the way that you do.

I accept my mistake yes i do .
Deep inside I am still waiting for you,
We have divine connection yes it's true,
My heart still groan ,
When I miss your skin and bone.
It's too late she said .
But is it?

YES it is,
I have tried enough,
I have cried enough,
It's time to let you go.
accepting you ain't coming back.

I miss how it use to be,
The days of you and me,
Two halves that shaped one whole,
For you I sold my soul,
After a month without words
Things have changed,
And I long for those things
To be the same,
I had all I ever wanted
Until you broke me in two,
Why did you force me to
Live a life without you?

Three cold months have passed me by,
Just as I was ready to say goodbye,
You appeared in the dead of night
You asked “do you want me to stay?”
I answered honestly “ baby I can’t handle when your heartbreak comes back another day”

You said you were sorry for the pain and the tears,
But you can’t undo the rains and the fears,
It’s best that we set what we had once free,
We both know it wasn’t meant to be,
You left me waiting in the cold,
You expected me to put my life on hold,
Now I’m gone, and your standing where I stood,
Because you left first, like I always knew you would.

I am so tired
that I can’t sleep
I am so exhausted
that my eyes
wont stay closed

I am ridiculously sure
that I am not human
not to say
I know the mothership is coming
I don’t know that

Truthfully
I don’t know much of anything

I am a child
in an aging mans body
which
I am pretty sure
has a lesbian living
underneath its skin

which probably doesn’t make sense
to you when you hear me say it
but nothing inside my head
makes sense to me
so why should you
have the luxury to understand
anything I might say

but it is to say
I will never be a manly man
or see or understand
that way of thinking

that macho drink and ****
as much and as many
people as you can in life

dont get me wrong

I love everything there is to
love about women
which is just everything
their great

well...

most of them at least
or maybe just some of them
I mean that they are no different
in the way we are all the same
we are all
just people
some are great
and a treasure to have in our lives

and others...

not so much

and I have done more
than my fair share
of drinking

A lot more...
enough to never have
to drink again
but I probably will anyway
not so much now though

and, well... yea...
I've liked
the ******* parts too

most of the time

its just that I like

the love

part of *******
more than the
bim-bam-boom ahhhhhhh
I’m sooooo sorry part
that never but sometimes
and almost  always
happens part of *******

that awkward moment when
oh **** my ****
throw up on you moment
it always gets nervous
around pretty girls moment
that I don’t know what to say moment

that...

d’oh!... moment

but I do know
I’m not suppose to say
thank you...
moment

even though once you’ve gone
I will get down on my hands
and my knees
and thank every name
of every god I have ever heard of
for that painfully beautifully
awkward moment
I was lucky enough to spend with you

I guess I’m just a little too quite
a little too shy
a little too nice, maybe

a lot too sensitive

emotionally speaking

in that sense that everything hurts
and everything is beautiful
and the world is ****
but still there must be something
here worth living for

someone who will cringe
and roll there eyes
every time I write
and read another garbage poem to

someone who will love me regardless
no matter how bad things get
no matter how broken my heart is
no matter how horrible
I may look when I die

someone who I will love
as much as I loved
to hate everything about life

Oh, I hates it soooooo much

someone who made
every miserable moment here
worth  the madness of it all

Hi there.
Sometimes it hurts to think.
I'm driving around in my hometown
I saw this old park that me and my friends would run and laugh and play at all the time.
We played cops and robbers
Lava Monster
Freeze tag
We acted like knights in strong armor and princesses with glittery dresses and we all slayed the dragons
Well now here I am staring at this old swing set that no one swings on anymore.
I used to think that I could touch the clouds with my feet if I swung high enough.
There is something so lively about a group of kids laughing and playing on a playground.
There is something so eerie about an old empty playground where no one goes.
That playground used to be so alive.
Now the swing creaks as it sways in the slight breeze.
You can almost hear faint whispers of the kids laughing from years before.
Now all those kids are adults with lives and responsibilities that are much more important than slaying a dragon.
The wood has splinters that get stuck in your fingers.
It is not shiny and fun anymore.
It used to be new
But I have found that everything changes eventually.
I wish people didn't leave so unexpectedly.
Anyways I am just rambling
but next time you see a playground
just try to look away.
it hurts to think too long
Bye.

Carry me gently to the moon
My heart hurts darkness makes me swoon
I need to be rid of this intense guilt
Let me curve like a cat on the moon’s tilt
Let me touch tips of stars
Feel their heat heal my scars
When shadow comes I’ll travel home
A new energy fills my bones
I tingle with stars the moon on my back
And no longer feel dark’s vicious attack

~kb