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 Oct 30
Kalliope
One man today, another man tomorrow
To have been mixed up with you
Gave me everlasting sorrow
For the time that I spent and the tears that I wept
Always making sure your heart and house were well kept
The mean you that I hated, the goofy you that I loved
I'm not sure how the two coincide or if you were ever in love
Compassion for you I still carry but the anger never goes away, I wonder if I'll ever heal from you, this pain likes to stay.
And I picked you apart,
Incessantly studied your brain,
But all of my effort was made in vain
 Sep 16
Amanda Kay Burke
Hold me and I will try to absorb your pain
What we have is so difficult to explain
Words said pace through my mind
Voice the warmth I can't leave behind

Unable to cautiously proceed
Losing my judgement with trembling speed
Simple questions ask myself often
Answers have all been forgotten

Is love eyeless?
Is it just me?
Does it always make truth hard to see?
How can love hurt bad when it's supposed to be good?
Don't know
Don't know
Though here before stood

We're broken individuals
Together we make a whole
All the pieces I am missing
Are parts making up your soul
Written 11-12-18
i can cover up the bruises
and put away the nooses
and pretend the sky isn't grey

conceal my feelings
feign peace with your dealings
and claim it's been a good day

burn my negativity
disguise my proclivities
and filter every word i say

in effort to soothe
and be warm for you
i will be 'okay'



today i'll do it just for you
but one day i want it to be true

today i'll do it to make it easy
but one day i want it to be for me
 May 26
Grace E
It’s been a matter of years now,
Each day stretches out slowly,
But I feel like I met you yesterday.
I can recall your smell,
The shape of you has been etched into my heart.
Your imprint lasting forever in its spongy composition.
You’re the only one I loved.
You’re the only one I love.
You will forever be my love.
It’s painful to except it,
But you are.
 Mar 7
Jellyfish
Shame encircles me
It's a cloudy fog that blurs everything,
Making it harder to see reality
I run inside my mind and hide in a dream.

I am a master at romanticizing!
I might even avoid you to interact with a fantasy,
My mind likes to protect me by airbushing things,
even though what I want is to live authentically

Every moment that I'm not present
Is a lost opportunity to change my mindset.
I'm trying to push past my negative thoughts
and ground myself but I feel so stupid.

I want an identity.
 Feb 6
Jellyfish
I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone
 Aug 2023
Rai
Do not slay your dragons on my doorstep then make love to them just above the gaze of heavens gates.
Do not surrender your fears and then shackle them to yourself as if your life depended upon it.
I am no fool to any man.
I laid down my heart
You cut me with your sword and my shield will protect me from your hastening attentions.
Maybe I am not broken enough to see through your gaze.
But the silence that hangs on the breeze speaks truths.
And it is only truths my ears will dwell upon.
Sweet words mean nothing if in secret you cast them to the dirt below your feet .
The darkness just merged my mind and heart together spitting violent words into a fierce furnace of powerful rage.
Love those you love.
Standing tall in your need for reflection for reflection has purpose.
Speak kindly in secret as in company it is there that you will gain the greatest rewards.
drown me
and breathe life
into me again
i beg of you
bathe me
wash me from myself
swell
and break
into my skin
curl around me
and take me under
Unfortunately,
It is easier
To put-out the light
From our own inner-flame,
Than it is
To put light
Into someone's inner-darkness,
When they have no morals,
Remorse or shame.

~ Shutting off.

By Lady R.F. (C)2019
 Nov 2022
Amanda Kay Burke
Someone deeply in love with once said
I quote
"You like being sad"

Give that thought
Doesn't make sense
Oxymoron at best

Eventually he will realize sometimes sadness sits inside of you and it burns like a flame no amount of laughter or love can extinguish
How do i make everyone else understand?
 Jun 2022
Jenna
She was not the first pick for dodgeball,
Or football,
Or soccer,
Or tennis,
Nor was she the fastest,
Or strongest,
Or prettiest,
Or fittest,
But she was the nicest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
But at the end of the day,
That never mattered to you.
You wanted the most perfect,
And prettiest,
And fittest,
And fakest,
… Which wasn’t her. So why’d you do it? Was it a bet?
A dare?
A scam?
Or a lie?
Because now in hindsight,
You are that type of guy,
To go after the nicest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
To leave her broken, hopelessly devoted to you.
And once she’s rebuilt you’ll come back around,
Just to once again, try and knock her down.
And you knew she’s the nicest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
So you knew that she’d come back to you.
And she does, because she is the nicest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
And again, she’s left chasing the memory of you.
So again, she rebuilds, and throws out the
Terrible,
Horrible,
Manipulative, memory of you.
And she won’t let you come back.
Not because she isn’t the nicest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
But because now she is the smartest,
Most loyal,
Most kind and true,
Which at the end of the day, never mattered to you.
So chase your Barbies,
Be happy,
Find a love that’s true,
Because in time, the same thing will happen to you.
 Mar 2022
Amanda Kay Burke
Sunrise brings realization that you are really gone
Amidst the golden beams poured onto my lawn
Morning sky wide with opportunity blue
All I'm able to focus on is you
Taking time to change your mind
The veil of denial rendering me blind
You notice me when it's required
Games have made me so ******* tired
Rays of sunshine warmly fall onto my cheeks
Have not worn an authentic smile in over three weeks
The birds sing a cheerful serenade
Their musical voices to my ears all but fade
You block any memory remaining here
Would be happier if all trace of me disappeared
Will hear your compliments if there's something you need
Motives hidden between your lines aren't hard to read
Sunset floods fire
Room filled with a glow
Goodnight said to secrets you alone will only know
Footprints on my heart because you tread upon my chest
Stomping the vulnerable parts you once caressed
You do not observe scars you left on my skin
You're too selfish
Subconsciously rubbing it in
The space you once occupied is now vacant and cold
Chasm of darkness is all it seems to hold
Blackness comes creeping as the light goes down
Relieved night cloaks my visible frown
Swallowing earth but it sticks in my throat
When it does finally reach my stomach I bloat
Bites I choked down churn in my gut
Tempted to *****
I keep my mouth shut
And fill the gaps in your life with cheap connections
Lost
Fool yourself by picking random directions
I suspect eyes will not sparkle for long
You with someone else just has to be wrong
Reality is not black and white
In fact colors are brighter because I feel grey
Don't understand how you could lose my love and be okay
Now over a year has passed and I've had to finally come to grips with the fact that you're never coming back
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