i wish i could change my stars
wish i could reach them with my hands
place them in my eyes
mold a new fate
start anew

i wish i could erease the past
wipe it clean
paint a new begining
a new me
a new you

i wish i could create new words
gift then to you
so you could sing them to me
play them on your strings

i wish we could love as we once did
forget what was
bleed a new story
spoil us with love and happiness

i wish for so many things
to change our stars
our lost love
our forgotten hope
but the stars are far away
and my grasp is too weak
to hold you in my arms

planets of all colors and sizes
floating on an endless universe
of mystic dust
and rainbow smoke

angels fly
from planet to planet
watching for the living
caring for their order

suns all around
distant but present
shining their lights
flickering in the night

one stands proud in the middle
the Sun of suns
the king of the universe
strong and powerful

it is a lovely world
a fantasy made up
watched and warded
but the lurking man

he plans carefully
outlines every detail
he paints the smiles
he writes the lies

he is a clever one
i must admit
everything plays out as his says
he is an award-worthy director

the lurking man stands above
we are standing on his palm
blindfolded, unaware
complete fools

he paints a beautiful scenery
he is the architect of paradise
he even lets us believe
that there is a greater power than him

you see,
the lurking man is a liar
and a cheat
he is a trickster
and a fraud
he hides in the shadows
planning his next move
creating a demise
waiting for the right moment
to strike

and it scares me sometimes
it keeps me up at night
how he is able to portray
such real dreams
into my own mind
and how one of this days
he will finally attack

i can hear the fireworks
             far away
i can hear the laughter and music
             of those who don’t want me there
i can hear the frowns and whispers
             of those who judge me

darkness engulfs me
              i am inside a box
for walls
which i wish to leave
and break apart

i am wanting to go
have fun
swipe the worried frowns
of their faceless crowns

but i am not being able
to br e   a    k
this box
a p a r t

there is flowers
all around
but no enough water
for them to grow

there is a sun
up high
but no enough sky
for it to shine

and i am dying
of thirst
and i am needing
sunlight
but all there is left
is a draught
and the constant
quarrels
between the ocean
and sand

let me explode
let me feel
let me be on hold
let me be at peace

i will remember you both
when the road turnd thin

i want to be free
        feel my hair in the wind
i want to be a bird of royalty
        see me fly, watch me go

keep quiet
even if you not

pray for me
i will come to you

i must walk my way
i must open the gates

some day it will be better
we will be together

behold
watch
glare

prescence and be part of

watch me be me
watch me IGNITE

leave something behind
        a part of your soul
learn to forgive
       apologize to all
say your prayers
       even if there's not
wait for the best
       hold you breath
make art, not war

ignite my power
be alright
in this dark world
watch me ignite

every day is the same

the voices
which are so loud
and vibrant
wake me with their bickering

the birds
that are so far gone
and dead
wake me with their whining

my mind
that is never truly asleep
and is has never been sane
wakes me with screams

but it is all inside my head
no one hears the piercing noises
no one else hears the chaos
and the sorrow
they all envy me
they all want to be me

oh little rich girl
how lucky you are
you can wake with the sound of birds
at whatever time you desire

they believe
in fairytales
that only live inside their heads
that have been fed to them
over and over again

and i want to open my head
crack open my chest
i wish for them to listen
to my lonely mind
to my beating heart

i wish for them to realize
to open their eyes and see
that my face shines every time
from the kiss of fresh tears
and that my feet bleed
from the road filled with stones

because they all have the same
lurking man
haunting and mocking them
and for some wild reason
they believe that their little
rich girl
is safe and sound

wouldn’t it be funny
to see their faces
and hear their hearts
once they realize
that this fairytale
of happiness and sunshine
is nothing more than a demise
set up by the one and only
lurking man ?

every night
i dream of you

i recall your dreamy eyes
the scent of your shampoo
i trace your lips
kiss your jaw

but then i wake up
every night
at the same time

your memory is so alive in my mind
and it is crazy
how the mind can create such wonders

never did i kiss your lips
never did i held your hand
yet all i feel when i close my eyes
is your touch

it has been years now
i must be a ghost to you
someone that you used to know
a faint dream never to be re-told

but to me you are my sun
i wake to see your eyes
i touch to feel your hand
i smell to inhale your scent

and when i rise
all there is to do
is write down four words
and then head back home

never will i send that messege
never will i see you again
but wouldn’t it be a wonder
if i ever hit ‘send’ ?

it's the bubble
that covers me whole
sophocates me
traps me inside

and i am trying
i try to claw my way out
stab the bubble
open it wide

but i cannot

i cannot breath no more
i forgot how the fresh air feels
all i breath is others breath
warm and decieveful

and i am not the only one
i am not the only one trapped
we all are

some have gotten used to it
learned to like the air
learned the semantics
and the ways

but i simply cannot
all i can think about is
how and when i will get
out of this infernal bubble

where everything is too comfortable
everyrhing is too good
too perfect

but all i can think about is
if i will ever be able
to pop this bubble open
leave it behind

because all i know is here
and most things that i love are
but one can pop the bubble
and always come back

i just need a free-pass
one way out,
and one way in
so i can finally be free

because the air here is too think
and i am growing tired
of the soundless nights
and of the pillowy-life

i need to grow and free

but be aware
do not you see it?
i certainly can
and only a few more

there is a shadow
a diablic figure lurking
there is this sorrow
making its way over

i can see it come
oh, i can feel it

once it arrives
everything will go down
and, i think and hope,
that the bubble will pop

and i will be free
oh, yes i will
but deep down i know
that that is not the way i wish to go

that way is not right
that way is not what i want
that way i will not be free
i will simply be out

and it is not that i
want to be out
i want to be gone
there is a difference between both

but that has not passed
and i do not want to know when
it will loom over us
i just know that it will be bad
it will be dark
and it will ****
as much souls as it wants
it has already began
a painstaking art
of ten cycles at a time
a decieveful life
the care-taking work of slowly killing
a bad cell on this life
multiplicating, unnoticed
a dim shadow of the biggest storm

and i am waiting for it to happen
and it is clouding my mind
because as much as i want to be gone of this bubble
this is not the way i want to go

i am inside a maze

curved streets all around
glass neatly cut
sunshine that kisses the ground

everyone here is amazed

the trees are bright
anew green
everywhere you see is light

velvet dresses and lace

the sapphire sky covers the land
welcoming the birds
who sing and pray to the aboves

look at the skyline
oh, how pretty is the scene
of kids playing in these streets

and everyone in this maze
is happy and free
the air smells like flowers
it is always spring

we are all happy here
the highs of the land
the beautiful places where
good is all around

there's no thing as misery
there's no thing as theft
we are all happy
in this unnamed hell

do not let it fool you
do not let it blind
the whispers in the red mouths
are nothing more than chants
draw the curtains
do not peek inside
behind the jewles and ties
there's nothing more than lies

kids waking between sobs
wives countouring flaws
husbands drinking the green rolls

the houses are all the same
magnificents buildings one beheld
safe places for the lost

you would never know what goes down there
for the rumors are all true
but different from all

because that one might be pregnant
and that one is not sane
that one destroyed my life
but no one will ever tell
the tale that is unsaid

it is all a big set up
for the rest of the town to know
that we are all perfect
perfectly fit  for this hell-hole

do not mistake
do not be decived
for we all may speak freely
and elegantly
but we are all the same

all lost and not found
by this inmaculate maze

that blonde mane
and that pretty dress
they are all set ups
for that dark frame

it is insane how many believe
how some are blind
and pray over the prejudices
and stories spread

we are all pretending
fighting for the starring role
award-worthy actors
for a shame-worthy role

because we sail on the boats
and we play the sports
and speak the languages
and we sing the songs

it does not mean anything
especially not me
we are all pretending to be
especially me

i do not belong
i do not belong no more
the leaves are gone from the tree
and tree with no leaves is not worth
so i should go
i should start somewhere new
somewhere were no-leaves is rule
but i cannot, no
i shall not;
for all i know and love
is in this maze of mine

i may be the biggest glitch
a fault in a perfect system
what i was then is not what i am now
but i love the feeling
oh, i love the glam
i love the labels they put on me
and i wear them proud

because baby we are all lost here
and we all are genuine frauds

they grab what they want
toss it inside

must stay there
must keep it safe
must believe the same

i am a piece of clay

they mold what they want
painstakingly precise

must be perfect
must not change
must be good

i am a drop on the ocean

they do what they want
direct me around

must follow the flow
must be clean
must be drinkable

i am a song

they write what they want
play their lies

must keep up with the beat
must sing their words
must help them success

but i am a human too

they treat me like they want
as if i wasnnot

but i must not be perfect
and i must not follow
and i must not lie

for i must be guided
by my own heart

i am not theirs
i am no one's but myself's

do not listen to them

fill yourself
form yourself
follow yourself
face yourself

you are yours
you are imperfect
and that makes you perfect

follow your heart
listen to your gut
respect your soul

the good will come
if you let it show

i am trying

i am trying
i am trying
and i am trying

i want to forget
to have my chaotic mind
ereased to the very end

i want it pure
a white page
to be filled with good things

but most importantly

i want to erease you

i want to erease you and i
us

and i wanna erease the memories
that my heart holds
and the secrets
it unfolds

i am a starling
trying not to fly
i am a stallion
trying not to run wild

i want to forget all know
and create knew memories
of me
and of the world

but not of you
because it hurts too much
that you are no more than a dream
never to be real

and all i want to do
is draw in my page
is paint
is write
and is keep

you in my page
forever and more

you torment me with your memory
a chaos of sun
stars and rainbows
hope and want

but my page is not a machine
it was not wired up
i cannot reset
and neither can the matters of my mind

and neither the matter of you

i believe in beauty
in love
in happiness

but it is oh, so hard

to still believe
with the way of the world

beauty
love
happiness

fantasies my heart desires
fantasies that are no more
than the fearies who kiss the flowers
than the love between sun and moon
than the gods that rule upon

life has its way
of snatching the innocence
of the purest

i believe oh i do

or do i simply
want to believe in it all?

i see no difference

let it be a god
let it be fey
let it be magic all over the earth

it should be that way
i believe

but just as everything else
it is a pure
fantasy

everything is fine
all is okay
life is good

that is what i say

my back kills me
my head kills me
my life kills me

that is what she says

i cannot
i will not
tolerate this behaviour any more

it is not that bad

the sun awakes everyday
and during the night
we have moons and stars

so do not cry

the birds still sing
our bodies are in harmony
cannot you see the rainbow?

life is full

we are blessed
lucky ******* in this hell
why do i see tears in your eyes?

they add bags to your pretty face

life is not that bad
look at the sun
oh, mother look at the birds!

the flower is blooming
yes, there is a bad petal
it is not beautiful

not even close

but that is the point

so rest your heavy mind
breath the fresh breeze
for you have love
harmony
and peace