lights turn on,
and it wakes me.

I want you to know how it feels like to be in my shoes, just like how you wish that everyone can feel the same as you and despite all of the feelings in this world that are generated by the same kind of source; love and hate, kindness and cruelty, sadness and happiness, we still fail at agreeing on the only great fate for us as we are reluctant to determine what is really right for us and therefore, in return, we can never leave our mark in any era, any generation that we are in, for the failure to avoid our will to consume from the deep within will ensure that we will endure another war, another famine, another epidemic that can only be undone by us, by having the empathy and love towards one another.

lights dim,
and it shatters me.

Lovebirds

An old man sat with patience
On the bench he waited for her
He smiled sweetly on her appearance
Hand in hand they walked together.

In the garden full of greens
The lovebirds chatted with laughter
As if they were in movie scenes
The way they looked at each other.

He stroke her hair gently
Her hair clip he'd bought years ago
Still intact she placed it neatly
That is the little pink flamingo.

Pleasant breeze they enjoyed
As they continued walking
Her fragile nature shivered
In her thin floral dress clothing.

He took off his outer layer shirt
Naturally putting it on her shoulders
She joked about wearing a skirt
He thought she was full of wonders.

He recalled her bravery
She reminisced his sacrifices
They've come far in life's journey
Counting their little happiness.

As I watched from a distance
I felt a pinch of sweet jealousy
Witnessing true love's existence
Yet wishing them to stay as lovely.

Hoping, dreaming,
Wishing, praying,
Fasting, petitioning,
Crying, weeping.

A hundred days,
Bygone.

Hoping we could once more see your face,
As impossible as it sounds,
Dreaming, that someone, somewhere, some place,
Finally finds you, and that you're at last home bound.

A hundred days,
Of excruciating pain.

Wishing against the logic of the world,
That you're still fine, and you'll fall into my arms once again,
Praying to God, gods, goddesses, deities of the world,
That even if you're not lost forever, you're still okay, not in pain.

A hundred days,
Of sleeplessness.

Fasting, maybe not because we believe it'll help,
But food does not replenish anymore,
Petitioning to the saints above,
To ask the angels to hold you, forevermore.

A hundred days,
Of yearning.

Crying for that solace only closure brings,
That somehow its not a conspiracy and that the truth is revealed.
Weeping for every single person, every heartbroken family,
Who's dreams and aspirations lay now buried, concealed.

A hundred days,
Of timeless sadness.

They say time heals,
The say it will get better,
But nothing can better what we feel,
Not even time.

A hundred days,
Without conclusion.

Boeing 777
MH17
17/7/14.

“ Most of the passengers had no race,
But today they gained a nationality.
Today, we are united in grieve. “

Tragedy struck again,
One strike after another,
One blow after another.

Today, we lost 295 people,
Out of a grand total of 7.046 billion people.

To an individual,
The figures may mean nothing,
Comparatively.

But as a nation,
This was a hard one to accept.

How do you digest the fact that
295 people lost their future,
Overnight.

How do you digest the fact that
295 people are gone just like that.

How do you accept the fact that
Your country is falling apart,
Slowly,
But surely.

The hatred towards the government,
Implemented by the opposition,
Practiced by the citizen,
And now, it is like a tradition,
From generation to generation,

From provocation to demonstration,
Taking it to the street is the habitation,
Screaming and shouting for no reason,
A battalion of protestors controlled by politician,

A never ending fight between transformation and reformation,
To rule the country and win the election,
To make it to Putrajaya, that's the mission,
To make confusion is the only conclusion,
And making politics a priority than religion,

These corrupted people ruined our nation,
With their twisted tongue and telling facts that are fiction,
Telling lies to the people has become an addiction,
Spreading ideology with their sweet persuasion,
And influence a generation that's lacking in patience,

Do I love my country?
Do I love my country?
Do I love my country?
To the question above, I simply reply ‘Yes’
But the more they ask, the more I question
Do I really love my country?

If I do indeed love my country
Why thoughts of migrating keep invading my mind?
Why do I feel like just running away?
Why do I feel as though there’s no hope?
Why am I, why am I not doing anything about it?

If I indeed do love my country
Why is it
That when the national anthem is playing
When in the past, I stood still wherever I may be
Frozen in my path and in my actions
Do not even dare to wipe a sweat
But now, but now,
It’s so easy to joke and to play
To tickle and to sway
To laugh with friends
When the Negaraku is being played

If my country, I do indeed love
Why is it that I look forward to National Day
For its holiday
And not for the reason of the day

I question myself again
Do I love my country?

Remember what happened in that black 98
battered souls, bruised dignities, blackened eyes
fallacies, conspiracies
no apology, no sympathy
but this is David and Goliath
don't you remember,
like eighteen years ago
except for its atrocities
and ridiculosities.

Dad,
you inflicted this on me,
you should have known
that the wheel
doesn't stop rolling.

I'm tired,
Tired of drowning in my own tears,
Wondering what have gone wrong,
We were fine yesterday, but why today you tryna push me away?

I hated blue, but you adore the sky and the open ocean,
So I opened my eyes once again,
And tried to love ocean as you do,

You know how much I hated being at the beach, the scary ocean, the fear of drowning,
but I keep going because of you.


And today you proved me, the ocean is not scary at all,

You are.

Anwar Ibrahim
Convicted of ****** in 2008
Acquitted in 2012

The Court of Appeal overturned the acquittal
He is currently serving his sentence

An aide to Anwar
Said he was sodomized by Anwar
******, even if consensual
Is punishable by up to 20 years in Malaysia

Anwar responded the complaint was politically motivated

Support for Anwar grown stronger
His wife is battling his conviction

Some say that political rival Dr. Mahathir
Will recover from his decrease in popularity
And remain in control
Because he helped Malaysia through a though economic time

Although it seems as though Anwar is gaining support
From a majority of the Malaysian people

Human rights groups accused Malaysia's government of using
An anachronistic colonial era law that criminalizes
"Carnal ******* against the order of nature"
To persecute Anwar

Anwar leads a three-party opposition that has become
Increasingly popular in the predominantly Muslim nation

This is not just
Anwar has been wrongly accused
I will pray for his wife
And his supporters

Stay strong Anwar
You are an innocent man

Maybe it's the way the national flag flies so high
Despite the country's imperfections
Maybe it's the way we're united
Not separated, despite the difference in cultures,
Believes, traditions, languages

Maybe it's the way you see an Indian eating with chopsticks,
The way you see a Malay in a saree,
The way you see a Chinese making ketupat's for Hari Raya.

Maybe it's the unity you see,
Maybe it's the goosebumps you feel when you say Merdeka,
Maybe despite the hate you have towards history,
Deep down, you know how grateful you are to be Malaysian.

Maybe it's the way you walk into a mamak,
And say
" tauke tapau roti canai 1 milo ais 99 "
And maybe,
It lies in diversity,
Beyond everything else.

*Malaysia, tanah tumpahnya darahku.