I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

One of the worst parts about post 9/11 airports is you can't meet your lovers at the gates anymore.
You can't run off a plane and embrace with a kiss like two poor folks who never went to etiquette school.
The kind of kiss that is more like two faces punching each other.
The kind of kiss that has traveled a thousand miles in bated anticipation.
We shuffle off the plane and head to the baggage claim.
The kids behind me were born after 9/11.
They will never understand Richard Gere and Julia Roberts brand of love.
A love where nothing else mattered but getting back into each other's arms.
That love is gone.  
We have to go through security first.
Take off your shoes, check your liver for spots, and make sure you aren't
    carrying anyone else's luggage.
Loose lips, sink ships.
Don't say anything that might give aid to the enemy.
Everyone has to make sacrifices.
Your love comes second.

I wrote you a letter
but it wouldn't say
what I wanted
So I stabbed it repeatedly
and threw it away.

I have been told
Twice
By two different men- that I am the most defensive person they’ve ever met.
My skin too thick and my tongue to sharp
(I am supposed to be easy and soft.)
But those men didn’t tend to the garden of my mind or flesh.
They never sowed the seeds I have spent years tending
Or even tried to open the gate I have built with my calloused hands.

Do not judge this mind if you aren’t willing to ******* soul.
There are roses here that don’t need any other hands to prune.
And never forget-
I am of the moon and stars.
The rivers of this body don’t need your approval.
I was never meant to be the clay molded in your hands.

Two Ones two O's
two infinity symbols/
beyond that
never is forever
a perpetual discontinue/
a  critical crescendo
Can it be that it was
all so simple/
A difficult indefinite
A decadent individual/
More to lessen
when the lessons
Goes spherical/
What comes must go
Disregard the scenario/
In spite of facing the
Ever so unbearable/
Imperial
Regardless/
I un expected the unexpected/
I was endowed with/
this meticulous weapon/
the correspondent/
It came in a different direction  
Not Money
Diamonds, jewelry and necklaces/
As you would expect it/
Rather verbs, nouns,
adverbs and ad-ject-ives/
My ob-jectives are selective
For I now know what my quest is/
I'm just the messenger
Please don't **** the message/
To your respective
Much time invested/
If I just reach one
That's a considered successes.

Or you die
Or go crazy
Actually
Those happen anyway
Is their a third option?

I can't even listen to my favorite band anymore because oh my god I cant keep picturing us in your car singing our hearts out and I can't even watch my favorite movie because i have to stop going back to all the times we watched it

I have yet to go back to the institute of art because of you and that was once my favorite place I can barely even walk to my car in the rain because I can't help but think of when your car broke down during that bad storm in 2013 hours away from our home and you told me you didn't even care because you were with me and **** I'm shaking just writing this

all these words and I cannot form a single sentence about you and me
it’s like you are forbidden fruit
the apple I so violently want to grab
the devil is egging me on
when there is a greater force begging me to recoil

you know I thought I had ruined it
You know
ruined you
But you never forgot how to love me
And when I love you slipped out of my mouth that night you said it right back