My eyes have always been open
Open to where I am
Open to who I am with
Open to the flows of the world,
Flows that I could never fully comprehend,
The complexities dance in front of my eyes
Mirrored in my mind
Filling it with swirling thoughts;
Never fully sunken in, and yet seen
Unseeingly.

Flows that I cannot comprehend
Continue to surround me
No matter how many flows etch into my flesh
Eyes open, mind overflowing.

The love that stares me in the face
Seen
Unfamiliarly familiar
Unseeingly
Irreplicable in my heart
Swirls endlessly in my thoughts
In and out of consciousness
It was never etched into my flesh.

Tumultuous darkness surrounds me.
It laps around my resting body, standing,
Poised to take whatever step found easy.
Eyes closed.
The sensation of the darkness around me,
It's silence and it's clenching emptiness
Swirling at the chance of stealing another
Position to act as stimuli.

The sensation across my skin muddles my thoughts.
I am who I am.
Eyes closed,
Mind swirling.
Reckless in my environment,
I step,
With the grounds shifting,
I step,
Darkness unceasing;
I step.

If a door passes by,
I open it.
If a hand reaches out,
I pull it.
If ground stops shifting,
I look down at it...
Whether or not the darkness eases,
Unceasingly,
Step

Steps echo in the distance,
Pitter, patter
As I turn my head forward, leaving
Accustomed to the silence in my wake,
Eyes closed to the path that lays ahead.

Gazing at the floor beneath,
Avoiding my surroundings;
Unnerved,
And yet these surroundings are pounding
At my front door.
I twist the locked **** carelessly
And consistently
Uncaring of my discomfort.
Tiring
Repetitive and yet
Refining.
Lock me out or I'll continue
To open these doors

Silence
At the front door
To which I open again,
Pitter patter
Spinning the threads of
Chaos again.

You stretched your arm forward
and held out your hand
I tore out my heart
gave it over and waited
for you to tear it apart

._   ._   ._  

But you took it
and placed it on your sleeve
although I hoped that maybe
you could hide it in a safe
and take care of it for me

._   ._   ._  

And so there it stays
my exposed, beating heart
you wear it on your sleeve
vulnerable  ._   ._   ._  
and you take it with you whenever you leave.

We didn’t go to Mea-She’arim on Saturday
because they throw stones at cars there on the Sabbath.
We wanted to see the locals, certainly,
but only to look in a respectful way. We had not expected
to make contact. But crossing the road you didn’t notice
that you had dropped your book.
I picked it up, ran after you.
Not knowing how to address you, I touched your sleeve.
You turned to me, took the proffered book
without a word, and looked at me. Your eyes,
beneath your strange hat, between your side-curls,
showed no expression. You turned away.
Was your garment unclean now? Did the volume
need to be purified? I was only
returning your book. We had not expected
to make contact.

Sacrifice is never easy.

                 Some struggle with it,

But for others,

                     It's as simple as 123.

His name was Jamie Lee
and in all my humble life
he and only he
always stuck by my side

Whenever I felt alone
I looked up at the sky
a shiver ran through me, skin and bone
when his ghostly hand held mine

Only because of him
I know the word love
whenever my day was a little grim
I could count on his tender smile

to make me feel
to make me feel more
to make me feel more alive