Why do I insist on looking for solace at the bottom of all of these bottles?
I know full well that nothing in this world, nor in Heaven nor Hell, can fill the small, Gavyn-sized void in my heart and in my soul, yet still, in vain, I try to drown my misery in the suds and decanters of inebriation…
I have dreampt of you twice in the last week. That is more than my dreams have been graced by your countenance in the last year. Each time, upon waking, I have been found with a smile, painful in its hope, for waking brings the end of the dream. I spend my time chasing dreams, for dreams are so much more hopeful than the reality that my sleeping brain awakens unto.
In these dreams, I have seen your face, heard you laugh and cry and call for me. Seen you run and play and question, seen you witness the sun and the World. I have held you in my arms and felt you wrap yours around me.
This alcohol numbs the sting of this unreality, for when I awake, it is in the sobering arms of loneliness and longing and emptiness. My heart beats for you, and in your absence, continues to beat, labored and heavily.
Every fiber of my being cries out for you, every second of every day. I see my failure in the smiles of children, in the hands of Fathers and Mothers and Children entwined, for mine clasp only the pen or the pillow, the bottle or themselves.
I want to heal the pain of this world, yet I cannot find inside myself the focus to care for anyone other than you or myself, nor the capacity to heal your world, or my own.
My hope continues, beaten down and suffocating, yet alive; the hope of the ******.
Whilst ****** I may not be, the excommunication from you is damning…
Am I dying, my Angel?
…Maybe.
Or am I just not living?
Try as I might, I cannot find the answer to this question. Perhaps, it is both. Dying while refusing to live.
For there is much to live for and much to die from.
Yet, my heart beats and my hope, my hope screams in whispers. Because of you.
I love you, Sweet Angel. With more than I ever knew that I possessed. These unshed tears are nothing more than unsung songs and unpenned verses in your name.
Sleep sweet, my love. Don’t forget to say your prayers. Daddy will be here when you wake up.

Firm hold of a stressful release
The real ease...
Is music to your heart in skilled keys
Closed noted memories unlock the liberties
that now potentially send me back to infinity
So this delivery came from the enigmatic entity
That never ceased empathy for any arch enemy
And even when the serpent brought the sin into the synergy
Symmetry was just a waste of energy
Only the incompetent compete for skin identity
Stab it with a label, still the same color when you bleed
Blind folded you could truly peep what the spirit speaks
Monologue with nonsense on your conscience and you'll miss the speech

I think that when we start to think positive thoughts.
That sometime the negative thoughts slip into our minds.
To work to suffocate the positive thought we are having.
Thus is the time to stand firm pushing those thoughts out.
Keeping the positive thoughts in our minds always.
For tis a battlefield , for we need to stand fast and not give up.
But keep throwing those negative thoughts out of our minds.
Keeping only positive ones that help others in our minds.
For people not material things matter at least to God and I.
For each of you all are important to me always my Friend.

clouds unwind
bring winter
in their white breath
dissolve and murmur
to the sea-sombre skies
of the scurry of wind
and wave
of the tumultuous
ache of the night
its oceans
its impenetrable
depths
its shore-slumbering
lights, in the thick
folding of winter
mist
the wonderment
of cloud.

He ripped it open
He pulled it tight
Softness eluding
Absorbing light
He escaped in mourning
He swiftly returned
Partially healed
Mortally burned

Say my name
Say it gently
Use your words
To caress me
Speak your thoughts
Speak them out loud
Confess your love
Amidst the crowd
Scream your wishes
Scream your dreams
Make your reality
Better than it seems
Whisper your pain
Whisper your fears
Release the tension
Wipe away your tears
Open your mind
Open up wide
Let my love in
Let me inside

I once had the secret to letting go
Now I find it hard to slip my grip
Even oil-slicked let me downs
Impossibly stick fast to shaking fingertips

Parallel we run our course
Only difference in choice
You may say it is the scenery
Or how you see
When in the midst of knowing
We know nothing and all

Sailing smoothly through silt,
I acknowledge the slow
pace at which I slide.

Solace is a *******
at the center of the sea.
I am the captain and the fleet.

Serengeti-bound,
all tangled up in the jungles in me,
heart swings from weeping trees

into swampy dawn, greeting
my bow and my stern
adorned in seaweed and serpent horns.

Map tracks never measure weather
nor the sirens’ screams.
While wheel-manning

I sing

songs borne of rainwater, drunken
from compass rose petal cups.

All the severed anchors sink.