Grieving has no time limit
Grieving affects everyone differently
It doesn’t get any easier, you just cry a little less everyday
Take all the time you need to grieve the loss of your loved ones who have passed on
But always remember
They will always be with you and they are also crying tears of loss
Even if there time was up here in the physical world

everyone thinks they know me
but they only the version of me that they have instilled in their mind
based off of jokes, or conversation or encounters
there are a hundreds of me out there walking around with all the people I've ever known
assumptions or truth or false information about who I am swirl around me in all the day to day life
all of these versions of me have me mixed in my own cocktail of loneliness
even with all the ME in the world
I still dont even know who I am

My shadow these days it seems
Does more things than me
In and out, about town
Follows the feet of excitement around

Hooks itself to other folks
Follows close like a puppy dog
Happily wagging its blackened tail
Leaving sunshine in its trail

Having fun, the best of times
Showing off in the brightest lights
Sliding floors and climbing walls
My shadow seems to do it all

If it had a brain would it think
Of the times it spent with me
The fun we had in broad daylight
Back to front, side by side

But alas now it seems
My shadow has no use for me
That it would come to this for me to know
My shadow appears to have been just a loan

This disease struck me
Like a brick on pavement
Hard

Everything was
Perfect
Then that brick came along
And with the slightest movement
Destroyed everything

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
The voices say

Why can’t I let them go?
They keep repeating:

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
Why won’t they stop

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
I don’t understand

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
Someone just HELP me understand

This disease is about
Perfection
But it's the biggest
Imperfection about me

we pass on our prejudice
wrapped up in choices
often blind to ourselves.

I wish I could live in the fantasy world

   Where the lonely find love

      Where the poor find riches

         Where the evil pay

            And the Lord above can say "This is good." again

         Where war is gone

            Fighting stops

Freedom reins

         Peace is plentiful

    Where you can go to sleep not fearing what's outside

flower pedals clog the drain
purple blue red and green
the water starts to rise
the boiling water burns my skin
the flowers sink
the water turns black
the tub starts to overflow
water everywhere
im strapped to the floor now
every breath is full of black water
till i cant breath anymore
the flower pedals go down the drain
the water dissipates
its clear going down
my body left exposed
the door opens
and im no longer gasping for air
im gone