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 Nov 2016
Bunhead17
♡ The wasted years
The wasted youth
The pretty lies
The ugly truth ♡
And the day has come where
I have died only to find
♡ I have come alive

~Marina x Diamonds
In ♡
with this verse.
I'm too young to understand
I'm too old to turn back
It's too early to give up
Too late to stay on track
Too strong to ask for help
But too fragile to survive
I'm too alive to not feel pain
But too dead to feel inside
I'm too trapped to believe
And too free to escape
I'm too safe to make a change
Too lost to find my way
I'm too close to let it go
I'm too far to see the light
I'm too calm to have the drive
And too angry to say it right
I'm too busy to take it on
And too idle to take a break
I'm too broken to be loved
But too loved to lie awake
 Sep 2016
Finley in Despair
Not even twenty-one yet crushed
by the weight of a thousand problems
Financially suffocated by a prolonged
suffering which was initially avoidable
and ultimately devastating

Since 'momma' kicked me out
I could feel the independence
Decision making and problem solving
was always something I excelled in
Though, it was always do as I say,
not as I do

"Yes mum I'm going to college, it's looking very promising yes, I love you too"

None of this will make sense to me
in five years time I'll be the same waste
of space I am today but I can't let
the people I love know I feel this way

Tormented and asphyxiated
The best of us suffer in silence
Drugs, *** and general self abuse
are the only things that alleviated
my sense of self worthlessness

The higher you are the further
you'll have to fall because right now
I am on another planet but my body
was never a temple and I can tell you
it's more like a post modern nightclub

Struggle
              Suffering
                     ­         Loneliness
                                             ­    Substance
                                   Betrayal
                           Help
          Recovery
Relapse
              Sleepless
         ­                    Hopeless
                                            Rejection
  ­                                                          Failure­
                                       Self-loathing
                  Rock-bottom
 Jun 2016
Monica
The weird thing about life
is that you’re always
in the middle of it.

Whether you’re starting
a new job, or starting
a family, or ending
a relationship or moving
to a different place,
you’re still right in
the thick of your life.

The only true
beginning and ending
are birth and death.

So, it seems that
with regard to life,
we are like an author
who is at an impasse;

They know the beginning
of their story, and they
know how they want
it to end, but they have
intense difficulty with
the middle.

How does the
protagonist get to the
point where she meets
her true love, or get
that job promotion he’s
worked for his whole life?
How do the adventurers
find the buried treasure?
How does the ax murderer
ultimately perform his perfect ****?

The middle is the most crucial part.

It’s also the part that is
hardest to get through,
as a reader and a writer.
We are either desperately
wanting to know what
happens at the end, or
reveling in the simplicity
of the beginning.

Life is the same way.
I miss the simplicity of my
“beginning.”
You know, the part of life
where you’re confident
in yourself, and where you
just love everyone
around you.

You’re not cynical,
or jaded,
and you know
you’ve got a huge
expanse of life ahead of you.

I also long for the “end.”
Not death, necessarily, but
the part of my life that is
predictable, and safe.
I want to know that
I’m going to be okay.

I want to know that the
way I feel right now
isn’t the way I’ll always feel.

The way I feel right now
is what makes trudging
through this middling
part of time so horrendous.

But
it's what gives me
the hope that I can write
a spectacular ending.
 May 2016
Loveless
Life
Is bad
It throws
Many worse situations
In whatever path we take

Sometimes
We feel
So weak, powerless
Fragile, exhausted, spent, hesitant
In front of those situations

But
The only
Intention of them
Is to make you
Stronger, wiser, mightier and better

It
Is your
Test of life
We all have to
Go through and top them

So
Stand up
No matter how
Or why you fall
Fight and become better you

And
One day
Life will lose
Seeing your brave heart
Bowing in front of you
Pyramidal poem
Just a try with first line constituting one word second two words and so on for five lines

Thank you elsa for providing me another idea for a poem.
 Apr 2016
Aeerdna
we are the masters of self-destruction
trying to numb the pain with wine
and drugs
and smoke filling up our lungs,
we write down in lines with no rhyme
all the things
that make our souls burn and die.
our poems bleed
we drink their blood
then we write again,
listening to stupid songs all night
wishing sometimes we were deaf
wishing we were dead.
we let the doors open
anyone with a knife can come inside
cutting our hearts in half,
any tear is welcome
to create the ocean around us
in which we deliberately drown ourselves.
masters of self-destruction,
our bodies are temples where dying souls hide,
we run till our legs are broken
jump off cliffs
go between sharks' cheeks
forgetting to sleep
to dream
we bleed
we drink
we love
and hurt
it's a madmen game we play
each day
laughing hysterically
while slowly taking steps to the graves
we dug for ourselves,
the masters of self-destruction we are
lunatics
worshiping what's not for us to adore
crying
hiding
falling again
and again.
legs broken,
hearts cut and eaten
flesh ripped from our bones
lungs full of water
ears burnt
our eyes scream
but that's fine
'cause we are the masters of self-destruction
and our life is just a mad game
welcome to the show.
 Apr 2016
Edward Coles
Been staring at the screen too long,
Seeing faces in the whitewashed wall.
Been staring at the billboard
Promising a Brand New Freedom
And yet never felt so small.

Been fighting for inner peace,
The war inside my mind.
I find it helps to breathe,
To find that positive energy...
But I tend to just stick to wine.

Been giving up on giving up,
Then, giving up on that...
I’ve been a poet
And a life-long friend,
And I’ve been a selfish ****.

I’ve ****** on a stranger’s garden fence
When I was drunk and high,
I’ve disappeared for weeks on end
And never given a reason why.

I’ve been collecting memories
And turning them to lies,
I’ve become a shoulder
That you can lean on,
But one that you cannot cry.

Went crazy in the hotel sheets,
Took a pill to help me sleep,
The afterglow burned me out,
The after-party was letting out,
Been throwing up for days on end,
The winter blues, the long weekend.

Been falling into old routines,
Been lost inside my absent dreams.
Meditate on the toilet seat
To gain a modicum of sanity
In the caterwaul of the working day,
In the onset of reality.

Been picking fault in every line,
In every footstep, in every rhyme,
In the clumsy way I tie my shoes,
In the way I do not keep up with the news.

Been staring at the screen too long,
Hearing voices in the silence.
Been claiming love and poetry
But I think in *** and violence.

Been fighting for inner peace,
The war inside my mind.
I just find my way
To fill the day
And let the clock unwind.
C
 Mar 2016
nivek
Isolation can be a choice
to go see
if anyone else
lives there.

On safari to the heart
of everything
communing with ancestral
stars being born.

finding a crowded space
the all in all
of love arriving
with the arrival of yourself.
 Mar 2016
Nigel Finn
Auden wrote "weep for the lives your wishes never led."
But I think it's better to be happy instead.
Why need I shed tears and feel such regret?
I've the rest of my life to achieve better yet.

I might not be sportsman, I might not be a star,
I may not be rich or drive a flash car,
I may not be known in my own local bar,
But who is to say that I won't travel far?

"Wheat is wheat" Van Gogh once said,
"Even if, at first, like grass it seems."
I've amazing things inside my head,
And I can paint my dreams

And oh, my friends! The things I dream
Would make you laugh and cry
As they focus on the age-old theme;
The persistant question- Why?
Sometimes I'm the cat who's got the cream,
Others; a web entangled fly.

It matters not much what I do,
Much more so what I think,
So to quote the great W.C.Fields;
"I believe I'll have a drink."
“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”― Vincent van Gogh

When Van Gogh was a young man in his early twenties, he was in London studying to be a clergyman. He had no thought of being an artist at all. he sat in his cheap little room writing a letter to his younger brother in Holland, whom he loved very much. He looked out his window at a watery twilight, a thin lampost, a star, and he said in his letter something like this: "it is so beautiful I must show you how it looks." And then on his cheap ruled note paper, he made the most beautiful, tender, little drawing of it.

When I read this letter of Van Gogh's it comforted me very much and seemed to throw a clear light on the whole road of Art. Before, I thought that to produce a work of painting or literature, you scowled and thought long and ponderously and weighed everything solemnly and learned everything that all artists had ever done aforetime, and what their influences and schools were, and you were extremely careful about *design* and *balance* and getting *interesting planes* into your painting, and avoided, with the most astringent severity, showing the faintest *acedemical* tendency, and were strictly modern. And so on and so on.

But the moment I read Van Gogh's letter I knew what art was, and the creative impulse. It is a feeling of love and enthusiasm for something, and in a direct, simple, passionate and true way, you try to show this beauty in things to others, by drawing it.

And Van Gogh's little drawing on the cheap note paper was a work of art because he loved the sky and the frail lamppost against it so seriously that he made the drawing with the most exquisite conscientiousness and care.
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