If I fall
I doubt anyone would care

And if they did,
They'd probably be
Relieved

Not concerned

More of a
"Finally,
She's gone"
Sort of thing

Not a
"Oh no,
She's slipping"
Sort of thing

But if for some odd reason
You see me falling
And want to help

Just walk away
Just let me fall

You can't catch me
I'm too heavy
From the weight of
Lies and regrets

We would both fall then
And it would be my fault

So if you see me falling
Follow your instinct,
*And just walk away

You think life is going well,
but in reality it's like you are locked up in a cell.
Every moment flashes before your eyes,
you hate those sorry 's and those lies.
You wish you could redo what you already started,
but it was already reported and outsmarted,
You always think about the what ifs and maybes,
I'm just asking please safe me.
We make mistakes we are only human,
we wish we were superhuman.
We have days that we want to forget,
you just can't help it but get upset.
You can't help but stare at the sky,
thinking about what might of been,and then you start to cry.
You never felt this angry,you just don't know what to do,
you just prey and hope that someday you outgrew.
You blame the world for your own mistakes,
you are so ignorant of what's at stake.
You see the world in black and grey,
you just hope when you go to bed it will all go away.

So, that's it then? I just hand my heart to you and get it back broken?

"Kami na ni A"
Or in English
"Me and A are official now"
Exact words you told me

Those were the most
Hurtful, painful, distressful words
I have ever heard from you
And I don't know what to say

I don't know what to feel
I know I'm happy for you
Bc finally she answered you after a year.
The long wait is over for you.

But my tears
They fell, escaped, from my eyes.
I was not able to help myself
I am literally crying my eyes out right now

Maybe you are currently jumping in joy
But what you don't know is that
I am in pure agonizing pain right now
Like someone stabbed a knife in my heart

My father died
before he could tell me
that your lungs fill
and you drown in yourself
as your heart fails.

My sister died
silent with the knowledge
that you taste the waste
your kidneys can't expel
as they slowly shut down.

My brother died
within the shell washed up
by the rolling tide of blood
from the bursting of
cerebral arteries.

My mother died
desiccated, emaciated,
her bitterness consumed
in the uncontrolled growth
of her cancerous sweetbreads.

One never lives
until they learn for themselves
the lessons of the lives
the histories and the deaths
of their inheritances.

I waited...and I waited

But I never got that phone call
The one that I have been waiting for all day
Just to hear your voice
To hear the reason why

Why you chose to end us
Why you chose to stop loving me
Why you chose to throw away something of significance

But instead...I get a text

I can give you everything I have, but it will never be enough; because right now you're not enough for yourself.

some  names  will  always  taste  bitter.

-g.e.s.