I remember us all sneaking across fences to grab the cooler full of beers she said were behind her dad's house. The back lights came on and we became swift as wind, running down alongside the river bank laughing and choking drunk all of us were. But we got our beers.

I remember leaving the house party, stumbling from one side of town to the other, smashing every pumpkin I saw along the way. When you found me, I was dazed. You said you just followed the guts along side the road and smiled.

I remember the bonfire at the moon towers, they drove off the flats in a fit of youth and invincibility. I half heartedly mocked, "they're gonna wreck. " Two hours later we picked them up from the side of a dirt, gravel, road as they walked away from the shattered glass and mangled trees. He still thanks me to this day for the ride home.

I remember walking down the street with you and that ******* my back, the street in front of your house. We all looked up for some reason and saw that ghostly flash of light pass across the front of the light pole. We froze, and then calmly walked back to your front porch, ours brains wracked with what it could have been. We still don't know.

I remember seeing you at her funeral, you were torn down and she was being laid to rest at an age much to young, only 15. You were with your new boyfriend but you still said you wished it was me by your side and for a moment life didn't seem so grey and hazy. I still never apologized for being who I was. I'm sorry.

I remember more about the sleepy little town we all grew in than I care to admit, holding all these moments close to my heart. It was the only place that felt like it accepted me. Even now that everyone is gone and our shades haunt that high school, I still feel a presence when I go back home to visit. Our little Donnie Darko town.

we live on the same 20 dollar suit
that we call style

we live on a gigantic mansion
that we call home

we live on with thousands of people
that we call our friends

hundreds of them
we consider as family

we live with  death threats and hunger
we call them adventures

we live like this
and call this life

aren't we even living
we considered ourselves alive

acted like an animal
hailed a hero.

You're a one night stand
But we spent too many nights
I lost count of it.

You're that unexpected kiss
On a drunken wasted night
Of vomits and *****.

You're that awkward hi
Exchanged by strangers who
Thought they both knew each other
But were clearly mistaken for another.

You're the bruise that turns blue
When I accidentally bump my leg
On the corner of the bed.

You're the scar that I never
Knew I had.

You're the bittersweet taste in
My mouth every morning.

You're the last thought lingering
In my head before slumber takes me
And you're the vagueness that
Haunts me in my dreams.

You're the scalding hot shower
In a cold freezing morning.

You're the boiling tea that numbs
My tongue for the rest of the day.

You're the obsession
I will never learn to let go of.

You're that person I will
Never get to call mine.

You're the one that got away.

I sit here
and think of you
if I were near
what would we do

    Laugh a bit
     push and shove
      throw a fit
       then make up

           I watched you leave
              and gave a smile
                 I could breathe
                   just for a while

                       I'd see you soon
                          but till that day
                             I would swoon
                               I wish you'd stay

                                                        But­ you must leave
                                                           ­    for now I know
                                                            ­            you are a thief
                                                           ­                     a secret foe
  
                                                          ­                   You stole my heart
                                                           ­               within a second
                                                          ­             we must part
                                                               I've learnt my lesson

                                                  If I let myself love you
                                      I fear I won't be strong
                                you're in my mind, stuck like glue
                       our love cannot prolong

i wonder if they notice that i can't breathe when they mention your name

1286

I thought that nature was enough
Till Human nature came
But that the other did absorb
As Parallax a Flame—

Of Human nature just aware
There added the Divine
Brief struggle for capacity
The power to contain

Is always as the contents
But give a Giant room
And you will lodge a Giant
And not a smaller man

I can't shake you
you haven't even given me reasond to attach
my heart
to yours
but still I
chase you
you can't feel anything but
I feel enough for the both of us
I'm on a road
less traveled with no
correct way to go but
I'm hoping it will lead
to you

Let’s go to the docks where the wooden boats rest
With fine-aged grooves that wrinkle their flesh
A quiet and hollow creek to their breath
And in we’ll step

We’ll bring your fishing rods and hooks
Some bait for the fish and I’ll bring some books
Then we’ll paddle on down the river
Just you and I

Let’s row to a place where the water is fresh
In that old wooden boat with grooves in its flesh
A quiet and hollow creak to its breath
And wait for a catch

And while we wait with the water and woods
Once we’ve cast the lines, I’ll read you the books
To see your smile shine across the river
And to the sky

(c) 2015