Because of us both
We're each other's poison
Leading anything with each other to be a toxic void
I don't know why I miss you
I don't know why you're so bent on being stuck in my mind
Cause you're in there almost every time
I'm losing it
Maybe I should cry on it to wash it away
Maybe I should pray for a cloudy day to cover it
Or maybe the sun to bleach the **** out of it
Maybe there's a cure
Oh, don't think I haven't gone searchin
I have, but I'm unsure of my destination
Like, how far along am I?
How much more to grow?
I'd really like to know
If I'll ever have someone who'll make me glow

Shh, mommy, I have a surprise.
How would you feel if I told you I was dead inside?
How would you feel?
Would it make you cry?
Would you apologize?
❣
Or would you let it slip to the back of your mind?
❣
How would you feel?
How would you feel about the cuts on my thighs?
How would you feel if I 'accidentally' died?
❣
How would you ******* feel?
❣
Would you be able to swallow your pride?
Be able to listen past your stubborn side?
Cause lately, I'm feeling pretty worthless, don't you know?
Oh yeah, that's right... Cause I don't want to worry you- I don't let it show.
❣
How would you feel though?
Would you believe me if I told you so?
Or would you just say I'm "crazy" and forget it all?
I am curious...
If your daughter killed herself, would you miss her at all?*

❥

I didn't realize how much I wanted to cry, until no tears came out. I didn't realize how much you affected my life, until you were no longer in it. I didn't realize that you became my best friend, until you walked away. I didn't realize how loving you puts me through pain. I didn't realize that I don't want to drink, until I see the bottle. I didn't realize how much you would haunt me, until it was too late. But I do realize you need your space. I do realize that we need to mature more. I do realize that you're not quite a man yet. We both have a lot of growing left to do. I just hope and pray that we grow back together after awhile. Because I also realize that you've ruined me for anyone else.

7/6/04 10:55:38 PM
*OH

Celebrates
Black History

You know what rhymes with day?
                                            gray

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    t

The man with the gun is truly powerful.
The man with the pen will take your life.

Ill always have what we had in my memories and thats better than not having it at all.

Time is like a throwing star; It has many apexes