Today I woke up and I already knew
It was going to be
An Everything day.

It's what I call the days that you wake up and feel like your head is already full of bees,
And your stomach doesn't quite feel easy but rather queesy.
When I roll over to try to assimilate while I take in deep breaths, and as I stare at my ceiling I feel like my chest is exploding with every feeling under the sun.
I close my eyes as I try to decompress the vast,
Swirling Galaxy trying to remain contained within.
And the sounds of the fan in the background feels like the winds of a high mountain top and the light that randomly billows in feels like it's absorbing into my skin.

I breathe in
And feel it all fill my lungs with more than air but
Life!

And on the breath out, it all zooms back to me.

I go from the top of the cold Mountain view and it's icy winds that I was just breathing in, pulled back to the fan and the light in my window and as I exhale more air; the further I come back to my mind, my eyes open and there's that ceiling again.

The emotions and the thoughts still slowly swirling in and around me like the creamy designs that twirl clockwise in coffee after stirring.

I try to breathe,
But it just expands me more,
I breathe out,
I shrink into nobody
Until I become
No Thing.

How can I constantly feel
Everything and Nothing
All at once... For eternity...

I wonder if I really am kind hearted.
Most people think it’s true,
But maybe I’m just afraid of being mean-
Maybe I’m afraid of being you.

I scream inside a body

That feels it is not mine.

I scream in soul.

I scream in mind.

I beg and weep for suffering to end.

For clarity to strike me.

I feel I am on a strange planet I do not yet recognize,

in a foreign land,

in a struggling body.

End it.

Please, if you must,

End it ALL.