One day someone will hold my body, reach
intimate places, steal breaths from my throat
and his cold barb-wired fingers will breach
my silk-woven skin, leaving me to choke.
I'm afraid I'm not sufficient enough
to let his love crawl in me, sweeping dust
away that no one has bothered to touch
after all these years. Certainly he must
not want to encounter a tornado
that destructs everything that could save me.
When he's done, there will not be a halo
above his head. He precariously
set my heart up for more disappointment.
He took my trust with the lack of consent.

I never knew I could miss someone like you.
How miserable you made me.
How much of a monster you've become.
But here I am, missing everything about you.
Even the horrors you hold within.
I loved everything you offered.
Even the heartache you caused.
And every little stab at my heart never decreased my want for you.
I can't help it.
I'm so madly in love with a monster.
I'm so in love with what we had.
Your lips were like fireworks.
Every kiss was magical.
Every touch made me shiver.
Just the sound of your voice soothed me.
I remember thinking this is it.
You are it.
But eventually, like everything, you had to go.
I was too much.
It was too much.
I remember that day like it was yesterday.
You left me for another.
An old friend if you will.
An enemy of mine.
You left and that was it.
Only for you.
Because here I am still loving you.
Here I am wishing I was her.
Every time you were upset.
I should've grabbed you and said it was okay.
Even if it wasn't.
You were the only one who made me feel.
I felt everything at once.
I want that back.
I want you back.
Even though you killed me.
I'd give my life again just to be with you.
I'd gladly go through that pain again, to be with you.
I'm crazy I know.
But who could love you like I did.
I know she can't.

I had always told you I will always love you
Even longer than you promised to love me.
You said you loved me more than the sun does the moon,
But my love had depth greater than the sea.

You said you'd love me for more days
Than there were stars in the night sky.
And I said I'd love you a trillion more days
After the instant you were to die.

My heart had brought me to the final conclusion
That you and I will be together.
But the thoughts in my mind reminded me
That there isn't a thing that lasts forever.

I wish to let go of these haunting truths
So there isn't a day we would be apart,
But you never understood me well enough to know
I think with my mind & not with the heart.

as a kid there were so many things I perceived as dangerous, like getting into cars with strangers or stepping over railroad tracks while the train was approaching
I used to think danger meant my life was being threatened or I was potentially going to be hurt physically, but as a kid I never ever Wouldve thought danger could be looking into someone's eyes and simultaneously feeling my heart beat twelve times faster than usual
Your very presence is dangerous to me
the freckles across your pale skin spell Stop And your tattoos look a lot like caution signs
the first time I met you was like one big red flag shouting at me to turn around and walk away
danger isn't just keeping the door unlocked at night or stepping on a thumb tack, danger is looking at them and knowing you're going to get hurt but refusing to walk away
danger is falsely believing so intensely that they love you, too
when they make it so blatantly obvious
that they don't

She is the type of person you may only meet a few times in your whole life;
always in brief encounters.
The type of person you could fall in love with in a heartbeat,
who opens up a world you didn't know existed.
You may catch her doing something mundane -such as filling a kettle-
and that's all it takes to fall in love again.
And if you're careful, very careful, you'll still recognise yourself when she leaves.
Because she will leave.
She is the sweetest poison and the body has habits of flushing out toxins.