Nights spent singing and drinking coffee with you are ones where time seems to freeze.
Our worlds vanish into thin air and all that remains is the melodious sound of our harmonies.
Your eyes light up like a child's on Christmas Day as we lose ourselves by releasing the passion that flows through our veins.
But your eyes did not light up that night, they hadn't lit up the last few days.
Your facade was built up so well but I knew you better than that.
Your eyes had lost the sunlight they usually held, now it appeared as if a heavy fog had crossed over them.
We exchanged our goodbyes that night but shortly after you returned with a look as grave as death on your face.
You took a seat and spoke the four words that forced my heart into my stomach.
                       "I may have cancer."
It wasn't a definite, only a possibility but it felt as if my world was rattled from its alignment.

Sometimes, love is not enough

You are different from the rest.
I was warned of those who would break my heart but never of those who would steal it from the very cage which it was entrapped in
I never gave you a key, just visiting hours
That alone was enough for you to swing wide the door open and allow my heart to go free
You kidnapped my heart but the key to yours belonged to another
You gave my heart its freedom but free it cannot be for it now lies in the palm of your hand
They never tell you that you don't get choice of your liberator or if you get the joy of holding their heart too

The rising and falling of your chest as you sing into sleep is the melody that soothes me
Fighting the urge to close our eyes we continue to whisper our goodnights
As you succumb to the exhaustion of your body, you whisper you love me
Your breathing is as a lullaby, easing me into the night
Miles  apart from me but somehow you are right next to me

She was like your first breath of air after coming up from underwater, and now I'm drowning.

If home is where the heart is then my heart has many homes
A piece is left in the mountains of Virginia
While a portion is also left there with the girl who gave me a night of firsts
A chunk of my heart lies in Tennessee where the roots of music run deep and Nashville feels like a very bone in my body
There are places I have never been that my heart already finds comfort in
There are people I have yet to meet in person that a portion of my soul belongs to
A huge chunk of my heart is in California where the sun shines bright and my best friend's smile shines even brighter
A fragment of my heart belongs to Chicago where I gave an even bigger fragment to the most beautiful girl in my life when I first came to know her and her definition of home
There are many places where my heart resides
I am searching for the person who will come into my life and make anywhere I go with them feel like home
For my heart will be in their hands and they will be the place in which I call home

Numb adj.
The textbook definition of numb is deprived of the feeling of sensation or responsiveness.
I've learned the definition of numb is when your heart drops into the abyss of your stomach and your whole body feels limp. You try to focus but your brain has gone into hibernation. Nothing feels real, everything feels as if walking through a dream. You talk to people but you aren't really there. You can look straight into someone's eyes and see absolutely nothing. My body feels like hotel with a brightly lit vacancy sign. If that is what I've learned numb is then dear God am I more numb than ever before.

You told me that you and I were not just a forest but a state park
Our lives were like roots of trees that have just begun to get entangled in each other
There is no you without me or me without you
We are together
We are one
Slowly we are creating something so extraordinarily beautiful
People will come from miles and miles away to be inspired by our love and stare in awe of how truly rare and wonderful it is
You and I are creating life
You and I are creating what others only dream of
So let us water these hearts of our that have become one
Let me kiss you so deeply you forget whose air you are breathing and our lungs become the same
It may be winter outside but inside of us spring is constantly blooming
Our passion is as hot as wildfire I just pray it never burns this forest down

Forced writing is meaningless
I have become a generic writer just typing out regurgitated words of others
My writing is worthless when it is not raw and true
I am attempting to be something I am not
This is not my heart and soul
My head is spinning but nothing is coming out
If I used to be able to write I cannot anymore for my heart is full but my pen has run dry

Your voice no longer sounded like a sweet melody but more like nails on a chalkboard

You traded sober love for drunken mistakes that you wished could be sober love once more

A week ago I didn't know your name
A week ago my lips had never known the touch of yours
A week ago I didn't know that bliss this vast was a possibility
A week ago I doubted my abilities to fall in love
Then you came
You came and changed my whole world in the time lapse of a few days
These few days have been some of the best of my life and I know I'll have you for the rest of my life
You see, they say that you know almost immediately when it's the one and I now really believe that is true because dear God have I fallen for you
I haven't just fallen, I've dove off this cliff knowing you'll be the parachute to save me

I do not desire to fix you.
I cannot fix you so please do not think my love is like a magic pill.
I do though have an extreme wanderlust.
Adventures are one of life's greatest pleasures and the most grand trip I will ever get to partake in is that of your body and mind.
Your body is like a map that I want to get lost on.
Your eyes are forests that I desire to explore.
Your hands are the steering wheel to my trip.
Take me to the darkest corners of your heart and mind.
I'll bring a flashlight and give you my hand in case you get scared.
I want to know the highest mountain and the deepest valley of you.
I cannot fix or save you, that is something you are doing everyday,
But every crack and crevice I find I will fill with my love
I will bring light into your most black abyss
While you save yourself I will hold your hand

Maybe it's your eyes
Or maybe it's how I wish I could trace my lips down that perfect jawline
Maybe it's your smile that makes my heart speed up a little more
Maybe it's your humor and the way you put joy in my heart
Maybe it's your apologies when you've done nothing wrong
Maybe its the way I feel as if I could write you a thousand songs
Something about you is so enticing
I'm drawn to you like the current of electricity
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes because if you could you would envision the beauty I see and never again wonder about your adequacy

I am sitting here thinking about how everyone leaves eventually and hoping to God you're the one to break the cycle
You see I love you more than the other who have come and gone and it was stupid of me to give more love to the one who is incapable of love or so you say
You could leave me in a heartbeat and never look back but my heartbeat would forever be changed because a portion of my heart beats just for you
While I know you could abandon me a part of me whispers to myself that you never will because you are not just my best friend but my sister too
Our blood was not the same when we were born and we do not even breathe the same oxygen that goes into our blood but somehow something deeper than that flows through our veins which we share
You see you hold a place in my heart that was empty before I knew you and that could never be replaced if you left
Your mind's beauty is oh so twisted but more magnificent than the rest
We are polar opposites an you hate me most of the time but I would love you to the end of time
Everyone leaves their footprint on the Earth but you've left one on my heart the size of the Golden Gate Bridge
In the most innocent form you are my soul mate. My heart rejoices when I talk to you and I feel more full with you in my life
My biggest fear is one day I lose you but I pray to God that somewhere in your heart I'm more than just a best friend but family too

I've always wanted to travel the world.
I have such a desire to explore every crack, crevice, and beautiful sight this planet has to offer.
When I looked in your eyes I finally realized I didn't need to travel the world because I found my whole world staring into your eyes.
Now all I want is to follow those eyes wherever they go and I'll know I've seen the world.

Maybe I was a just a measure when you were a whole symphony

I'm heartless. But only because you stole mine from my chest.

I used to think you were my saving grace but you ended up being a nail in my coffin

Just because you are in love does not mean the sadness won’t stop creeping in, that some days you will feel yourself getting bad again.
Being in love is not about being happy all the time or acting happy for your significant other.
Love is about being vulnerable and letting your significant other sit there in the darkness and be a night light.
So come here.
Lie with me.
Be my night light because sometimes I am scared of the dark.

I left the person who loved me for the person who lusted after me.

If I loved the wrong person with all I had then I wonder how immensely I could love the right person.

I don't dance but babe I would dance all night with you
I don't dress up very often but I'd put on my finest attire to go out to simply see the smile on your face and no matter how I look I'd still just glimmer while you shine like a diamond hit by a ray of sun
I may not like Chinese but I'd eat it every night if it meant eating by your side
I don't watch scary movies but I would watch them all the time if I got the pleasure of holding your hand
You see you have me doing things I would never have before
I don't know how our story will end but I know you are meant to be in mine in some way, shape, or form

You're the only one I could fall in love with but I'll never tell you because you're in love with her

You made me believe I could fall in love and that someone could fall in love with me

I believe love is a greater mystery than death

With each person who comes in and out of my life and makes the same promises of "I love you" and always staying, I lose faith that love exists

Poetry has seemed to curl up and die inside of me
When a part of me is broken it is so simple to "put words together beautifully"
Now that life is going well it seems as if poetry has disappear
As if the words no longer flow from my fingertips
I have never been a good writer, maybe I have never been a writer at all
My writing is average but it will never bring tears to one's eyes or change a part of someone's life
I desire to so swiftly and gracefully string words into beautiful phrases but its inadequacy is quite haunting
Music is in my veins, it flows through every fiber of my being but does writing even hold a candle to this symphony?
Will I ever write something meaningful?
Writing is relief
Writing is escape
But is my writing impacting?
I don't believe it is so maybe I should just put my pen down for good
I am not a writer
Some are born with the curse/blessing of having to get words out and their words move in the hearts others and cause tears to well up in the eyes of people but my writing, all my writing is is a sad joke compared to true writers
So maybe it is finally time to cap my pen and never pick it up again

Love will not save you. It will only break you

I kissed you and all I felt was shame

I see forever in your eyes

Your head is a prison you can't escape.
When I'm not there your mind begins to think maybe you don't want to be here, on this earth, at all.
Even when I am there your brain may drift to that dark cave.
I am so sorry you feel this way at times.
I wish I could take your past and we could rewind.
I cannot change your past but I will be your future.
I cannot protect you from yourself but I will hold you until the demons all run away.
I cannot force you to desire to live but I hope you see life in me.
I hope you see a future, a family.
I hope you see someone who will love you with everything.
So feel, cry, and when you need to let yourself - feel the urge to die but I will lie there right by your side showing you a love as wide as the Grand Canyon and as deep as the sea.

My body and brain become in sync with nature.
A darkness always creeps over my skin in winter.
And just like the trees begin to die, so does a piece of me.
Snow falls down more like ashes around me than a flurry of beauty.
This snow may blanket the earth but it certainly is not keeping it warm.
It is as if winter is slowly freezing a portion of me.
So I will wait until spring when my heart slowly thaws and the birds once again sing a sweet melody.
I will crawl out of my own head where I have chosen to hibernate and let flowers grow in my mind.

It has been a year since my best friend has come into my life.
Scratch that, it's been a year since my sister has come into my life.
For the first time I believe I have found someone who will be here all my existence and will continue to love me.
You have taught me to be brave, to be strong, to keep going on. You've protected me, fought for me, loved and sometimes hated me.
Our friendship isn't perfect because they never are but you are the perfect person to be a friend to me.
So I stand here today thankful that the girl who usually goes away stayed.
Here's to having one of my friendship soul mates coming into my life and for the many years we have ahead.
I love you