I am a walking oxymoron
I am a contradiction
I consider myself a realist
but crave the taste of fiction

I am a both sides of an argument;
much like the true colors of freedom
I bristle at words of affirmation
because I hate that I need them

Oh, wretched heel!
Oh, bane of life!
Cease to inflict your funereal strife!
What must it take?
Would I be healed,
Should my dichotomies be revealed?

I am a fire upon the sea
I am a grand confliction
I write as if I have no inhibitions,  
but it seems that words are an addiction

i hear the whippoorwill in the night-
it seems we have a common trait:
our voices, strongest in the dark,
with no specific audience,
echo across the fabric of time
to reach the ear unseen.
should no other creature hear our songs
that cross the face of night like rivers
it would seem to matter little;
we are our own listeners.

red and green: the color of my nightmares
though red and green are seldom in the picture
instead most nightmares lack a trace of color
but anxiety is spelled in red and green

once
i was a little child
full of optimistic wonder

then
i fell into an ocean
and its current swept me under

down
i sank, as it engulfed me
the sun-streaked surface, a shadow became

then
my heart slowed down its beating
and in the dark, I felt a Name

once
the feeling overcame me
i knew i must discern its source

     i called the Name with final breath
     and yielded myself to its force

Death
swirled up and all around me
and tight in her arms, i was held

down
i sank, as she engulfed me
once-flickering hope, in an instant, quelled

          and I died.
          and I died.

FLASH
with sudden blinding brightness
a force grabbed me from death’s shroudings

up
i rose, in swift ascension
and the speed was overwhelming

then
my soul recalled the feeling
and i felt the Name once more

when
at last, i stopped ascending
the Name is all that I longed for

so
i followed with the masses
i chased the paths of those ahead

soon
the masses ceased to wander;
i followed where their gazes led

          then
          i was a little child
          full of optimistic wonder

          and
          i finally knelt before
          the Name of Love my heart was after

When I am found in dead of winter,
     My Father is a summer's day;
And if my heart is cold and bitter,
     He breathes the ice and frost away.

In vibrant spring or pensive autumn,
     I will rest in peace, assured;
Though like the earth, my heart is turning,
     I find solace in the Lord.

Smell of earth
Rugged brown
Taste the rain as it falls down
Rise and fall
Blue and green
Trace the clouds that paint the scene
Lift your eyes
Make no sound
Feel the stillness all around
Bow your head
Kiss the ground
This is where your heart is found

To start fresh
A chance to be different
A chance to love
But what do I want?

To travel far
And feed the spirit
Quench the wanderlust
But what do I want?

To love another
An honest tenderness
A heart that makes mine beat again
But what do I want?

To write the stories
Learn the legends
To know the stars above
And that is all I *need

All of a sudden;
I don't know how we got here,
But we cannot stay

I.    the end of life;
      that which was always fated
      shocks us, even still

II.  the passing of time;
      we can never comprehend
      our frail existence

III. the creative soul;
      we must, with earnest ink,
      make every word count

IV. the end of an era;
      it is but a beginning
      of something much more

To life and love
To heart at stake
To any who will patterns break
     My heart is open

To grief and joy
To sun and rain
To all who trudge through earthen pain
     My heart is open

To ash and flame
To bruise and burn
To those whose hearts refuse to turn
     My heart is open

Through all triumph
Through all regret
αδελφοίς μου, I'm with you yet
     My heart is open

Father, I have a restless spirit;
My mind wanders here and there
I long for your peace

My heart beats with unsteady rhythm;
It troubles my time of rest
In the midnight hour

Reach out your right hand, oh Lord my Lord;
You alone restore my soul
You calm all my thoughts

I find rest in the name of the Lord;
Worthy is he to be praised
The Almighty God

My soul stirs with great pain and trouble;
I call upon Jehovah
His hand sustains me

I am held steadfast within his palm;
He breathes new life into me
I have strength anew

When the walls around the city fall,
Still, I will not be dismayed
My Lord carries me

In my weakness, the Lord makes me strong-
Let this cry go before me:
I am held by Yahweh

               *"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
                   who was and is and is to come!"

On the mountaintop
Where all things are made new
We'll grow old and young

In the forest shade
Where Nature hides her treasure
Our songs will be sung

When the sunlight fades
Constellations fill the sky
We will find our truth

And when new day dawns
We will greet the morning light
Full of life and youth

     In the cool autumn sun
     We'll make two into one
     And we'll let loose our joy
     As our fears come undone

     We'll write a thousand hymns
     Knit a fabric of our dreams
     And live to see them all fulfilled
     And bursting at the seams

We bear the mark of mortality;
A tear in the fabric of our souls-
A void, left empty.
We long for fulfillment.

We seek to satisfy our emptiness at all times-
Constantly stuffing ourselves full of earthly notions of "good"-
Seeking acceptance,
We adhere to standards we set by ourselves
And loathe ourselves when we fail to meet them.
We crave the riches of the earth;
We strive, lifelong, for financial success,
Measured by the depth of pockets,
The weight of titles,
And the length of our Golden Years.

Yet in the essence of the Word
There is a greater call
A call to transcend;
To defy all bounds,
And to level the field;
To grasp the truth of mankind's reality:
        
         We are all the same.
         There is no greater man,
         Nor is there one less-
         Of dust we are formed,
         To dust we return;
         Both rich and poor
         Rot in their graves.

So, we should live in the same way.
Loose ourselves of convention's ropes,
Abandon the expectations of a fallen world,
Whose eyes lust after gold and jewels,
Which cannot prosper the soul.

Our Master has placed talents in our care;
We must not bury them in the ground,
Nor waste them in pursuit of riches.

Invest in the kingdom, all you artists:
Sing your songs with passion;
Write your poems with zeal;
Color your canvas with the Glory of God,
For His eyes and His ears are tuned in.

Invest in the kingdom, all you wise men:
Ponder the vast universe with wonder;
Calculate the sum of years with humility;
Extol the complexity of the Creator's design,
For His eyes and His ears are tuned in.

Invest in the kingdom, all you mighty ones:
Fight your battles with dignity;
Face your opposers with integrity;
But do not forget the mercy given unto you,
For the Just and Merciful One watches and listens.

And you, wealthy men and women,
You must divide your riches:
Give much to the poor, for their need is great.
What remains, give to God;
Offer it up with an open hand,
For every gift comes from above and is not yours to own,
But God's to use through you.

Do not let things drive you;
Do not let gold drag you down;
Let love be your captain,
And grace be your sails,
As you cast off into the stormy seas.

And you, poor men and women,
You must be humble:
Accept from others only what you need,
For God has provided.
Take no more, and always give thanks,
For God has been faithful and has provided,
That you may prosper by Him.

Let every man and woman-
Young and old;
Rich and poor-
Let every man and woman humble themselves;
Let them give thanks to God, who alone can give and take away,
Who brings healing to the sick and cares for the broken,
And who will judge all at the end of time,
According to their hearts, and actions thereof.
Let every man and woman praise God.

Blind are the eyes
That stare deep into their own reflection

Dead is the mind
That worships thoughts of its own creation

Even the angels are made for more.
Humanity is frailty we mustn't ignore.

Dripping black
A sea of thorns,
Or a sea of thrones?
I wasn't sure

Seated heads
That glistened gold
With blood
Of sacrifice impure

A Shadow leapt
To take its place
Behind a Silhouette
Obscure

A battle scene;
I knew at once
Which side
I would be fighting for

Clash of sword,
Screech of steel;
Thick ran the blood
Of fallen man

Then all at once,
An empty field;
I stood alone
With sword in hand

The earth took shape
A Thing appeared
The Silhouette
Formed from the sand

The Shadow leapt
To take its place
And cast its spell
Over the land

I raised my sword;
Three times I swung,
And at last blow,
The Shadow fled

The Silhouette
Remained in place,
But now
His sand was burning red

A Mighty Voice cried,
"It is done!"
The Silhouette
At once fell dead

Then all around
Rose from the ground
Each fallen man,
Jeweled crown on head

     The Mighty Voice
     Spoke once again:
     "Well done, beloved one,"
     Said He

     Into His arms
     He drew me, tight
     And we were wed
     For eternity

     A feast was held
     In angel courts
     We rejoiced
     In our final matrimony

     He clothed me
     In the brightest white;
     Evermore
     I am deeply, truly free

I have walked these fields
I have known this land
And though the years have changed the face
The memory still stands

Of a time when things were simpler
Of a time when hope was pure
Of a time when changing weather
Was all of which we were unsure

And I have seen the sun rise
Over fields of green and gold
Now that view is just a memory
And I know I'm getting old

Can it be that earth is failing?
Can it be that light has dimmed?
Can it be that we've abandoned
all the life that we once lived?

     Is it any wonder
     that our children can't get over
     just the smallest of infractions
     when the world falls all around them?

     For constancy is foreign
     in a land of no intentions
     where a lost appreciation
     for sacredness of life abounds.

I cannot pretend
To understand it all
For as often as I wonder
Equal am I inclined to fall

For I am of a generation
Which forgets itself began,
Wanders aimlessly through atmosphere
And defiles its fellow man

And over weakness, few have triumphed;
Through affliction, few have prevailed
And reverence for creation
Is an instinct we have failed

But our days are not yet over
For this one hope stands unmoved:
We are still formed of the same dust
Whose strength our ancestry has proved.

     Is there any remnant
     of the spirit deep within us
     that might once again remember
     the great faith we once achieved?

     There is far greater meaning
     found in one hopeful sentiment
     than in a thousand shouting voices
     denying all things once believed.

Divine
Soul like mine
Heavenly sign
Someday you will see

Rewind
Seek and find
Remembered line
Solves the mystery

Adverse
Could be worse
Let us rehearse
Unknown destiny

Behind
Evenmind
Lies bound and tied
What good there could be

Process
What a mess
Lover's redress
What small price to pay

Priceless
Worth much less
Should I digress
From standard of way

Logic
Does the trick
Come take your pick
Of moribund day

Pretense
Little sense
Words so immense
What more can I say?

Humanity is so advanced
Constantly pushing boundaries
Solving the unknowns of existence
Day by day, one step closer
To all-seeing comprehension of reality

So close to a cure
Just short of a solution
No knowledge can hide from us forever
We press on to illuminate
The dark depths of mortality

Seeking truth
We go where none have gone
Pursue an answer just beyond our grasp
Closer than ever before
Yet still outside the realm of reality

Or maybe our reality
Is just a fabrication
The materialization of a fiction
Whose architect works by power of suggestion
Under the pseudonym of "Sanity"

A fiction of simple skeleton:
Spine of logic and ribs of reason
Whose blood flows rich in measured season
Headed by calculated cognition
Infinite, within the bounds of Sanity

But we sink our teeth into each fact
We cling to all we think we know
We say "question everything" and "think beyond"
Convince one another we actually do
As we dance on our ropes pulled by Sanity

     And we see as we wish to see
     And we wish for all we ever saw

I glanced through the crowd
There you stood
And from across the smoky room
I could feel your heartbeat
Perfectly synchronized with mine

Our eyes met
And at once I knew Your heart
I felt Your Spirit grasping mine

Overwhelmed, I looked away
When I turned back to you, you had gone
Leaving my soul in flames
From your kerosene passion
And the spark in your eyes

My flesh, it aches; it burns
My calloused bare feet are scorched by the rugged earth
I am wandering and I don't know where

My eyesight is fading and darkness seems to fall around me
Though my burning skin acknowledges the sun's unrelenting brutality
I am wandering and I don't know where

My dry, cracked hands are like the deserts around me
Open, extended; begging for even the smallest raindrop
Anything to ease the sting
As I wander and don't know where

Beneath the burden of unbearable thirst,
My parched throat cannot utter a cry
But cries would surely be in vain
As I wander and don't know where

Vivid memories, enhanced by my arid surroundings
Recall legends of a fountain said to quench all thirst forevermore
In my hallucinations it is there before me
It whispers thoughts of peace to me
And beckons me near
While I wander this unknown land

With all measure of strength left in my bones
I run towards the oasis before me,
Content to collapse and free my spirit into its mystic waters
No longer to wander where I do not know

But as I draw closer to the shimmering mirage,
It becomes real
It becomes tangible
And I dive in

When I surface, one like a man robed in shining white
With eyes of fire and crowned with light
Breathes on me and I can hear the words
Those words of such peace and power;
Now I see,
They are the words
The very words
That I had long been wandering for

Take my hand
Hold it tight
Tell me
Things will be alright
I am scared
You were right
These things
Always were in sight

Future comes
Quick as day
Soon this view
Will fade away
I'll be alone
My price to pay
Far from home
Nothing to say

Cost of breath
Weight of soul
A world beyond
My own control
A once clear mind
Too quickly full
Shining moments
Rendered dull

Take my hand
Guide me through
Help me learn
What to do
My growing up
Is overdue
I pray I'll be
As brave as you

one day, I'll fly away from here

through clouds
     over seas
          over deserts
               over trees

and I won't stop when I break the atmosphere

into space
     past mars
         past asteroids
              past stars


                                        and I won't look behind
                                        because the cosmos are blind

Do not look at me with those eyes
Those sorrow-filled eyes that believe those lies
Which come from a Monster, in beauty disguised
Do not look at me with those eyes.

Do not silence me when I speak
Of hope that glimmers through moments bleak
As if my pity is all you seek
Do not silence me when I speak.

I cannot bear to see you broken
For though my heart remains unspoken,
In my dreams, you smile 'til I have woken
I cannot bear to see you broken.

Do not look at me with those eyes
Because in them, I recognize
I love you more than I realized
Please, do not look at me with those eyes.

can you feel the beat
of this hollow heart
as it wears itself away

a throbbing ache
and bitter blood
both fuel a silent rage

I am hopeless
I am helpless
I am desperate to be saved

as my self
is turned to ashes
in the power of Your flame

but You give to me
a clean heart
and awake my eyes to see

a newness
that engulfs me
in a depth of purity

no longer
shall I wander through this world
from shame to shame

I am bound
to greater purpose
the Creator knows my name

In a world where good
is not good enough
and perfection is an end
never quite attained

          I am trapped

between living
to love with my whole heart
and toiling
in pursuit of alleged personal gain

To madness
the mind will be driven
that pursues
the impossible feat

          For it is trapped

by a vicious,
insatiable thirst
for an end
which man cannot achieve

I have followed
the paths of these mad minds
for as long
as my memory recalls

          And I'm trapped

between
your increasingly high expectations
and a desire
to abandon it all

I'm falling in love, but I'll never deserve you
for these ignorance-drenched things that I say
My mind grasps at phrases with which to approach you
                     But words only get in my way

I've never met a heart so beautiful
I wish my words could explain
my feelings for you, so deep, so simple
                      But words only get in way
                                                          ^my­

Dearest mystery,
I must tell you this
when you build up walls,
there is so much you miss

Dearest mystery,
I've tried it, you see
I blocked off the world
from the monsters in me

But oh, loveliest stranger,
you can't fool your heart
and even small paper tigers
will rip you apart

Dearest mystery,
Let go of your chains
you'll see when you do
only the best of you remains

i am realizing

how our time is fleeting
our days are ending
we are all dying

but i am realizing

that our time is not real
our days never were
only bodies die

i am recognizing

how we feel so physical
our trust is in the tangible
which turns to dust

but i am recognizing

that the physical is an illusion
the tangible is not real
and we are simply souls

     trapped in a matrix
     soon to be freed

a ***** bus
a faded road
a song that everybody knows

a text hello
a dying phone
a daydream of distant snow

a cloudless sky
a phosphate mine
an estimated travel time

an orange sunset
a melody line
a moment that's completely mine

I was crying
at that table
Tears were falling
on this page

Tears of lonely
desperation
Such, no ten-point scale
could gauge

I couldn't bear
the thoughts inside me
I thought I
would go insane

I couldn't find them
I couldn't find the words
To write away
the pain

     but I've done it now, so read it well
     because I finally broke your spell

How I loved you,
but I lost you
then I found
somebody new

and I tried him
but I likened
all his words and ways
to you

I enjoyed him
but not really
though he did
everything right

It was your kiss
that I longed for
as my lips told his
goodnight

When I left him
you came running
and for once
you held me true

And I honestly believed
that all I'd ever need
was
you

     but it lasted until mid July
     when you lacked the dignity to tell me why

You left me
in a hurry
but I should have known
you would

Because, dang,
those college girls
will give you things
I never could

     I was raised to be a lady
     not a lady of the night
    
But I wish you well
and hope
that all your wildest dreams
come true

And bless the heart
of each poor girl
who has to deal
with you

You don't know what you started
My heart first felt love because of you
Your kindness was so refreshing
Your joy was so sweet
And I never told you
that for over a year
no matter how I tried
my thoughts would always wander
to find
you

but you never knew.

I dreamed of your dark eyes
My heart melted at your bright smile
Your laugh made me dizzy
Your passions were so beautiful
And I loved you

but you never knew.

And when your college days are through
Should I ever again see you
Though my heart still wonders
if dreams really come true

You'll never know

that you never knew

that I was so
in love
with
you.

I recall from some time ago
a pink plastic tea set
a white plastic rocking chair
and a yellow plastic pony
with blue plastic hair,
     which
was impossible to untangle
except for with the green plastic brush
that belonged to my blonde barbie doll
out of her plastic vanity cabinet
beneath her plastic vanity mirror,
     which
she checked her makeup in
before meeting her plastic boyfriend
in his plastic van
to go to a plastic diner
that served plastic pizza,
     which
was really just a sticker
on a tiny plastic plate
that would get lost in the bottom
of my plastic toybox,
     which
had a plastic lid
that was also my sailboat
that brought me to a plastic castle
with a plastic princess
who had the prettiest plastic eyes
and the most elaborate plastic dress
and the shiniest plastic crown,
     which
was the envy of all the plastic women
in the entire plastic kingdom,
     which
was really just a plastic castle
surrounded by an enchanted plastic forest
filled with furry plastic creatures
all atop a clear plastic box,
     which
held the plastic dishes
and plastic glasses
and plastic food
in case a feast should be thrown
for an unexpected plastic guest
from a plastic kingdom in the far east,
     which
was really just a plastic plate
placed on the plastic-coated windowsill,
     from which
I would peer into the blue sky
through broken plastic binoculars
while standing on a yellow and green plastic step stool,
     which
when turned upside down
became not simply a make-shift plastic sailboat,
but a glorious, luxury plastic cruise liner
for my pretty plastic dolls

     and I would board my toybox lid
     and we would sail into a perfect plastic horizon

     which
was really just a white plastic baby gate
that kept me from tumbling
into the world downstairs
where things are wooden
and glass
and cloth
but not plastic

for plastic is synthetic
and plastic is superficial
and plastic looks bad
against gilded wallpaper

but plastic is cheaper
and plastic is safer
and plastic is durable
and childhood is plastic

I've been alone,
but, in the silence,
I have found a friend.

It listens, with
quiet understanding,
and its patience never ends.

Sometimes it speaks,
I know it does;
The voice fills up my head.

It comforts me
with words that flow
from some celestial end:

"I'm here, I'm here!
Cry to me;
I'll always hold your hand.

Life can be cruel,
but I promise you,
I'm with you, even to the end."

All my sorrows,
I have poured out
to this listening ear unseen,

And the darkness
does not seem so black
as once, I thought it'd been.

Times of trouble
do still abound,
but I need not pretend,

That I'm alone,
for, in the silence,
I have found a friend.

A poem is a thought-
A thought that becomes an insight-
An insight that becomes an art-
An art that is cherished.

A poem is a lasting value-
A value recognized by its author-
An author who had an experience-
An experience that needed to be shared.

A poem is attractive to thinkers-
Thinkers seeking stimulation-
Stimulation of the intellect
And stimulation of soul.

A poem is the method-
The method of communication
Used to communicate desires-
The desires of the heart.

A poem is the product-
The product of a passion-
A passion rooted in love-
A love that sparked a thought.

Roses are the most beautiful flower;
The sight of one turns my thoughts into prose.
Yet I’ve done ev’rything in my power,
But still, I shall ne’er be fair as the rose.
The rose stands dignified and elegant
With the most graceful composure I’ve seen,
And white, with purity and innocence,
It is more guiltless than e’er have I been.
In flawless form, its tender buds burgeon,
But I doth lack a perfect symmetry.
In ideal balance, each flow’r emerges,
Unlike my imperfect anatomy.
     Yet, despite all of this, thy love remains,
     And grateful I shall be for all my days.

An older couple,
still just as deeply in love
as the day they met.

Young children dancing-
Someday they will disagree,
but no, not today.

A small bird singing-
and why does it rejoice so?
It must have found love.

Thinking about life;
without love, it is nothing
but a plotless tale.

The night is quiet.
A silent breeze brushes past;
it whispers your name.

Laughing and smiling
with the whole world to conquer
and your hand to hold.

A blanket of fog
atop a sea of trees,
the morning mist
lies still, in peace.

The warm glow
of the sunrise
slowly opens
my waking eyes.

In the dawn of the day,
the world awakes
and life resumes;
new breath, it takes.

As I arise,
and my slumber is through,
I always, always
think of you.

Give to the ears
of he who will listen
a rhythm
that beats with My heart.

Give to the eyes
of he who will see
a vision
that expresses My love.

Give to the mind
of he who will think
wisdom
to know I am just.

Give to the tongue
of he who will speak
words
to declare what I've done.

Give to the hands
of he who will work
strength
to build My home.

Give to the feet
of he who will stand
courage
to stand alone.

Give to the arms
of those who will comfort
compassion
to show towards all.

Give to the spirit
of all the believers
faith
to keep them strong.

Doubt not, I am coming;
I am coming soon.
Believe,
and prepare the way,

For there is great reward
for those who'll
listen
and obey.