She said people were seasons,
and when I first met her, I couldn't agree more.  
After getting to know her, I wished that I didn't.
Her ex-lovers were Winter, and her eyes were a shade of Spring.
I could see the vulnerability of a car crash
swimming in each fountain trapped behind her emeralds.
She was beautiful in the way that could cause suicides,
and fix spider-webbed windshields after each collision of,
“Are you okay,” and, “I’m fine; I promise.”

Every story was Winter, and she was always left alone in the snow.
Mauve lips mouthed words that silently whispered,
"When is this too much? When are you going to leave?"

People are patterns,
and all she knew was the tessellation of temporary love and permanent loss.
Her hands trembled as she looked down.
She was in transit; moving after each hope of home fell apart.
And I wanted to kiss her like the world was falling apart.

You broke me
I stood there, tears running down my face
The hurt in my eyes, you could not see
I stood in my place
A dream I once thought could be
But you left in such haste
You broke me
The world cup I never won.

i scream but no one hears
i move but no one looks
i cut but no one cares
im sad but no one seemed to notice
i cried but no one wiped the tears away
now im dead and everyone says they tried to help as they lay the roses on my grave

That moment of love you feel and desire just inches away from you, words that can not escape, terrified but so in love with what may hurt the most...

You may think it's funny.
Plain teasing.
Just girls having fun but you don't know.
You don't know what I've struggled with.
You weren't there all those nights when I cried myself to sleep because I was not thin like them.
All the times I would skip meals and tell my mom I had eaten elsewhere.
All the times I survived on water for the whole day.
All the times I came this close to sticking a finger down my throat and emptying the contents in my stomach.
It took me so long to feel okay and comfortable with myself.
Until you said that word.
It's funny how one word could have such an impact on me but you don't know my struggle.
When I got home after that, all I could see in the mirror was fats.
I had begun to determine my self worth by my calorie intake and the size of my waist.
I hated myself once again.

"are you okay?"
this is a question in which I've answered with a variety of letters carelessly formed into words laced into scentances

and I've been telling myself and others that "yes, I'm okay" or "I'm fine" or "just tired" and I've been saying it over and over again in my mind because maybe if my mind screams "YOU'RE FINE" my heart will hear and believe it

but when "I love you" turns to "*******" or "you're not good enough" or no resoponse at all

it's certainly not okay
and I am certainly not okay
but maybe if I keep telling myself that I am, I will be
maybe

I bet you think that the boy at Kindergarten will be your biggest problem. The only one in class who doesn't seem to like you. 10 years down the road and you'll realise that you were lucky to have friends at all. You love Math. I bet you never expected to cry yourself to sleep every night when you were 15. No, you thought you'd be popular and happy. You never thought that you wished you were dead  You never thought that you'd hate your body. You never thought that you'd have no friends but, **** happens, right? You have no friends. No one likes you. You feel like puking every time you look in the mirror. You know hate Math because it is more structured than your thoughts. You will wonder how you went from a girl full of love and hope to a girl full of hate and tears. But **** happens. And the way things are looking now, it's only going to get worse.