Closet Monster hides with shoes
Under jackets
Next to dresses
Twiddling thumbs and waiting
With a patience I am both scared and proud of.
"When?"
"Soon."
Close the door, take a breath, open eyes, relax.
The closet monster has your back, the closet monster knows how hard it is.
It waits and waits and when it's freed, the joy is unreachable.

I hide my soul
So no one can destroy it
Pull at it
Talk too it
I hide my soul
So no one can see me
Free me.
I hide my soul
Only on paper
I do not hide,
I hide me
I'd like too be set free like the stormy seas
Like the winter breeze
For now I like too see me as
a willow Tree
This would set me free
I think
For now I'll hide me
I don't want too be free
I'm frightened .

I loved you...

A bit too much,
That I chose to stay by your side while you were crying over her

A bit too much,
That I tried to bring back your happiness by helping you win her over again

A bit too much,
That I decided to heal your heart while I broke mine into a thousand pieces

A bit too much,
That I cherished you at your worst while you loved her at your best

I kiss him and it’s the first time that it doesn’t feel like I am watching my body from the other side of the room.

Watching my body be submissive

I kiss him and my body takes and wants and is

and is

and will be

i’m sitting on a park bench having a cigarette with my best friend and i don’t know i’m in love with him yet

i’m consoling my best friend as he tells me about The Girl who broke his heart and my body nods in understanding, but I don’t know why yet

it’s four am and I just want to sleep but you’re in a different timezone and you’re drunk and you wont stop texting me and it’s four am and I don’t want to sleep


it’s December and you just got back and we’re sitting at your kitchen table and our eyes are glistening and you’re telling me about your childhood but then your hand is on my thigh and you’re telling me about the Red light District and how I make you feel dangerous

And we’re laughing about that time we were so drunk we almost kissed and we’re laughing a little too much and then your mouth is on my mouth and it’s two months later and i’m crying in your car and you’re standing a calculated distance away from me and your hands are in your pockets and my hands are in your pockets and I go home biting my lip

and i go home and i am watching my body from the other side of the room

gardener
I am not ready
don't pluck me

there are very few things that are so beautiful they hurt
swimming in the rain.
dancing in the dark.
you.

who broke the moon? its
slivers shatter on tile and you
emptied them in our flowerbeds,
waiting, i think, for the rain.